The Pissed Off Thread

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IamSam said:
No offense, K, but her son's an adult. Sometimes an adult needs to take responsibility for their choices. Especially when they haven't learned from prior bad decisions. You can't teach someone to sink or swim if you keep throwing them a life preserver. And to be clear, I'm not tryin' to stir up anything here. My experience is just a little different, tis all .....

And BTW, K, good to see you posting again ....
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True. We don’t know the whole story. Hell, I don’t even know how old he is. I’m assuming it’s over 21 due to the contributing charge.

My only point is, if you have NOT been in big jail trouble before, and you are suddenly in it, it’s a whole new world. It’s one thing to have parents slap you on the wrist…..yeah, you can blow that off an smoke a bong. But to have the law hook you up is different. Your world STOPS. It’s over, and it can be frightening. Sometimes it’s enough to make a difference. Sometimes not.

If he’s been in and out of jail and had mommy bail him out, then YEAH, he should sit this time. But from what I’ve read, he hasn’t been on the inside much, so this could be life changing.

So, basically, if he’s a repeat visitor to jail, I totally agree, tough love.

But if this is his first time in……maybe think about it a bit? Jail is far different than Mom and Dad bitching, or the Judge giving you probation for 6 months.

I don't know the whole history, so I only comment on the possibility of this being the first long term jail experience.
 
Exactly, FM. There are no perfect parents and no perfect kids. This is just going to be one of those life lessons. It sucks big time but sometimes we all need to understand the consequences of our actions. It must be harder when it is your child but I think it hurts too when it is someone you love. And yanno, in the whole scheme of things, he made a mistake. Who amongst us, haven't? He is young. He has his whole life ahead of him. You need a bit of perspective.
 
PieSusan said:
Exactly, FM. There are no perfect parents and no perfect kids. This is just going to be one of those life lessons. It sucks big time but sometimes we all need to understand the consequences of our actions. It must be harder when it is your child but I think it hurts too when it is someone you love. And yanno, in the whole scheme of things, he made a mistake. Who amongst us, haven't? He is young. He has his whole life ahead of him. You need a bit of perspective.
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And how many in our society get a “pass” when they make a mistake. How many are NOT held accountable for their actions? Many. It happens daily in every facet of life. If we took the totalitarian view and just handed out maximum punishment for every infraction, no matter the history of the offender, then many a person would be hung out to dry right now with no chance of retribution whether they deserved it or not. It even happens on the forums. Some boards take the totalitarian approach and oust the average offender, yet others let a LOT slide and allow those posters to stay.

It’s one thing to get a warning and a slap (bail and bond), and a totally different thing to be deserted and left on the outside (jail time).

What would YOU rather have?

I personally find it hard to hand out punishment and opinions without first putting myself into the situation before I comment. If you can not put one’s own self into the mix, it is terribly hard for one to fully understand and be of merit to speak on the matter when one considers nothing more than their own current state of affairs and surroundings while neglecting the coloring of that which is being spoken of.
 
Again, no offense, K, but I don't need to put myself in bad positions to have an intelligent opinion on some who, because of their choices, are in bad positions. It's simple. Learn the rules. Play by them. When you don't, accept the consequences.
 
I was neither judge nor jury, K. The punishment has been meted out. I was merely trying to sympathize with TG. She is hurting because her son made a bad choice and has consequences to face because of it. Texas has very harsh criminal laws when it comes to possession. It always did. However, this truly is not the end of the world--although right now it feels like it. He is very young and possession charges of a small quantity in reality is not going to harm his future chances if he learns from his mistake and finds a better crowd to hang with. I am sorry if you do not understand this. Yes, our justice system is imperfect but it is far better than those in other countries. Once again, TG. I am sorry that you are hurting. I am sure he is a good, albeit imperfect person like the rest of us.
 
My son is basically a good kid, I know, 23 {24 next month} is not a kid, anyway, he chose the wrong path. I have ALWAYS been there for them and have backed them and made excuses for them. He is always in trouble, one way or another. No, other than being in holding for public intox before, he has not been in jail before. He has been unemployed for over a year until a little over a month ago and was told, right up front about being tested after 30 days. We told him over and over and he STILL smoked and lost that damn job. I love my boy and I will always be there for him, but, this time, he has to figure it out. This will get him clean and make him see that life is not all about smoking drinking and partying all the time. His friend just spent a month in there and said that it isn't bad at all. They were pretty damn nice and didn't mess with anyone. Most of the guys in there are older men for DWI's and stuff like that. If I see that there is something wrong, then and only then, will I speak to a bondsman. My son is the type that after thinking, sees that what he had done is no one else's fault and learns from it. I hope he learns from this. I couldn't care less about him smoking. I just care about his actions and the shitty choices that he is making over and over!!
 
tg, i wasn't all that different than your son. maybe a little luckier, i guess. by not getting busted often, and getting easy judges when i was.

i think that you're doing the right thing by him. some lessons have to be learned the hard way in order to get youirself on the right track, or out of a rut.

has he considered the military?
 
Yes, but, can't pass the math part of the ASVAB. He has a mental block with it. Schools tried everything and all that happened was them getting frustrated and him hating it more,lol
 
TexasGirl said:
My son is basically a good kid, I know, 23 {24 next month} is not a kid, anyway, he chose the wrong path. I have ALWAYS been there for them and have backed them and made excuses for them. He is always in trouble, one way or another. No, other than being in holding for public intox before, he has not been in jail before. He has been unemployed for over a year until a little over a month ago and was told, right up front about being tested after 30 days. We told him over and over and he STILL smoked and lost that damn job. I love my boy and I will always be there for him, but, this time, he has to figure it out. This will get him clean and make him see that life is not all about smoking drinking and partying all the time. His friend just spent a month in there and said that it isn't bad at all. They were pretty damn nice and didn't mess with anyone. Most of the guys in there are older men for DWI's and stuff like that. If I see that there is something wrong, then and only then, will I speak to a bondsman. My son is the type that after thinking, sees that what he had done is no one else's fault and learns from it. I hope he learns from this. I couldn't care less about him smoking. I just care about his actions and the shitty choices that he is making over and over!!
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Excellent post and game plan!
 
TexasGirl said:
My son is basically a good kid, I know, 23 {24 next month} is not a kid, anyway, he chose the wrong path. I have ALWAYS been there for them and have backed them and made excuses for them. He is always in trouble, one way or another. No, other than being in holding for public intox before, he has not been in jail before. He has been unemployed for over a year until a little over a month ago and was told, right up front about being tested after 30 days. We told him over and over and he STILL smoked and lost that damn job. I love my boy and I will always be there for him, but, this time, he has to figure it out. This will get him clean and make him see that life is not all about smoking drinking and partying all the time. His friend just spent a month in there and said that it isn't bad at all. They were pretty damn nice and didn't mess with anyone. Most of the guys in there are older men for DWI's and stuff like that. If I see that there is something wrong, then and only then, will I speak to a bondsman. My son is the type that after thinking, sees that what he had done is no one else's fault and learns from it. I hope he learns from this. I couldn't care less about him smoking. I just care about his actions and the shitty choices that he is making over and over!!
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I've been where your son is in my life and came out of it once I learned stupidity hurts no one but me. I have also been a parent to a couple of kids there after they had "grown up". I tried to protect the youngest one to no avail but I learned after she was gone. The next I stopped telling what they wanted to hear and told them the truth and at first they didn't like but later after getting their life together are now in a different place. My only regret is I didn't learn this quick enough to save my daughter instead of thinking I was helping her, I actually enabled her. Now the one that I told the truth is dealing with it with one of his boys. He is handling it like I did with him and hopefully it will turn out right, if not there is little we can do for them after they become "adults".
 
The ones from DC will know why this transpired with my son.
My boy did not put his dad on the visitation list as he felt that "dad" wouldn't care or want anything to do with him. I just told him and he went ballistic saying that he never wants to see him or have anything to do with him!! Told me that I'm not "allowed" to add anymore money to his account in jail. I went off on him because all day yesterday, he has referred to him as "your" son {mine} and not his or our!! I brought that up and now I am a stupid bitch for choosing my son over him and that whatever he says about me son is between them and not any of my f' ing business!! He's yelling at ME about him!! He telling ME all of this!! And he is MY son and I'm not suppose to take up for him?????????

Yeah, I am the stupid one here!!!!! He will lose out on MY son!!!!
 
Right now, I'm just so freaking sad. Sad for my son. Sad that I stayed with someone that never cared about his own son!!!
 
Man, that really sucks out loud TG. What a loser. We need a BTism right now to lighten the mood and get the humor back. Maybe something about Soap-On-A-Rope for your son, and maybe hot grits in bed for your ole man. Come on BT, post already!
 
Grits in bed for Stacy's DW?? Why waste good grits. I'm thinking something more like a skunk.................................nnnooo............couldn't put a skunk through that either.
I'll think of something.
 
Biskit said:
Grits in bed for Stacy's DW?? Why waste good grits. I'm thinking something more like a skunk.................................nnnooo............couldn't put a skunk through that either.
I'll think of something.
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Ever see any of the Madea movies, in particular, Diary of a Mad Black Woman? In that movie, Madea describes perfectly an old southern…….”attack” that angry woman have been known to do in the past.

You make a skillet full of grits and some butter. Once they are ready and hot, you grab the skillet handle and whoosh, dump them all over the target. As Madea describes, the grits are like napalm and cling to the skin. Hard to get off and burns like hell. Ooops, I’m so sorry; how clumsy of me! :yum: :yum: :yum: :yum:
 
Just checked, it was actually Family Reunion with Madea. She calls it "Grit Ball" :lol:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNy0rjxXlzA[/ame]
 
Or you can call me on encrypted UHF radio and I'll roll in with a load of 28 500 pounders.

A6bombload.jpg
 
Keltin - mashed potato can do the same job - we had a child in our church who accidently threw hot mashed potato over himself and it did the same thing.
 
Well, he does not look good in orange, handcuffs or shackles!! It was really sad. He is okay though. He has been able to sleep more than he has in a long long time, lol.
He seemed a little embarrassed, but, he will get over it. I think he's coming with me too. He wants to get away from his "friends". I just hope he does this time!!
 
TexasGirl said:
Well, he does not look good in orange, handcuffs or shackles!! It was really sad. He is okay though. He has been able to sleep more than he has in a long long time, lol.
He seemed a little embarrassed, but, he will get over it. I think he's coming with me too. He wants to get away from his "friends". I just hope he does this time!!
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I know how sad it is but the idea that he is embarrassed is probably good. Fear of being embarassed is what keeps me from doing soooo many bad things. Maybe it will help him, too, when he gets done with this. Poor guy. Were you able to put some money in his account despite hubby? From the friends I know that have been in jail, money in your account can make things a whole lot better.
 
TexasGirl said:
oh yeah, I put $50 in for now, lol. He isn't going to tell me no anymore. Well, at least I won't listen anyway, lol
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I'm glad, Stacy. How often are you allowed to see him? Can you send him letters and/or cards? We could keep his mailbox filled, if they allow that.
 
Idiots joining the forum sending PM messages asking about pumpkin pancake recipes etc, then getting banned.
Who was that person anyway??:shock:
Guess it doesn't matter now. Ugh!
 
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