Cancer Cachexia


Food Sound Eng.
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009 8:29 PM, EDT

Warren’s weight was stable this morning - right around 142 pounds, but he hasn’t had the best of days today.
It seems that Warren is developing a pattern – one day of feeling good and having some energy followed by a day of feeling very tired and needing rest and more sleep. However, the overall trend seems to be upward. Warren felt sick last Wednesday and better on Thursday; that’s when he first tried the exercise bike and the walker. Friday he felt pretty rough again and needed rides everywhere. Saturday, he felt good, walked (with the walker) everywhere and used his stationary bike. Sunday, he was tired and quit walking by noon. Monday – yesterday – he felt good, walked everywhere and rode the stationary bike. Today he was very tired again and napped quite a bit, BUT even though he reports being very tired all day, he has walked everywhere (except to the lab at Henry Ford for his blood draw) and used the stationary bike for more time than ever before. To make that long story short, Warren seems to be more able to push himself each day even when he’s feeling fatigued!
I had a push of a different kind today and I really needed it. Celeste came over to help me rearrange the family room. In addition she is, thankfully, helping me to rearrange my mind. After Celeste carried a plethora of items out to the garage, I was amazed at the beauty underneath it all. I now have a newfound love for neat and uncluttered and I don’t miss any of my former treasures. The family room is beginning to look like something out of Better Homes and Gardens. It even looks twice as large but cozier - it's amazing! Warren and I both love it! It will be our model for the rest of the house.
I think I may end up having the world’s largest and longest garage sale! Our garage will fill up quickly at this rate.

Being right on the corner of Farmington Rd and Old Timber, we’ve always had a wonderful location for a big sale. In fact, when we clean out our garage people stop and try to buy things! Hopefully some people will want to join us to bring stuff over and help man it.

What I can’t sell of our stuff I will have picked up. A lot of the stuff is really nice – I just have tooooooooo much nice! I have always hung on to stuff for when we would have less office stuff and also for when we inherit Dad’s apartment (an event I’m definitely not ready for). As of today, I’m through hanging on to everything except, of course, faith, family and essentials for living. Warren feels the same way - the watchword is simplify!

I hope you all like the picture of Warren that Caryn sent today. He is holding the Get Well Bear our granddaughters gave him when he first got sick. He also has his arm over his faithful "Dogger" pillow. Both "pets" have brought him comfort just as all the thoughts, prayers, cards and messages people have sent his way have lifted his spirits on many occasions. Thank you all for everything!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Wednesday, June 17, 2009 9:04 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren's Journal

Warren’s weight held steady at 142 this morning. Unfortunately, there has been a break in the pattern I noted yesterday. Today was the second rough day in a row. There wasn’t much walking, if any, from the very beginning. Then I had to ask Warren a question concerning the business. That was enough to exacerbate the shortness of breath and cause tremendous pain in the abdominal area. The immediacy of the reaction was very apparent and it sparked much discussion and permanent resolve on both our parts.

I regret to inform everyone that Warren is no longer able to do any work of any kind. Just the mention of any business concerns sends him into a palpable panic. He still feels very badly that his illness has caused him to “let people down”. That's my Warren. Without exception, he took a tremendous amount of pride in doing his best work for everyone, and he has often worried more about others than he has about himself. In fact, in a few cases, he seemed to care more than the client did. After much discussion, I believe I’ve managed to convince Warren that it’s the cancer that let people down – not him!

Whatever questions I can answer, or whatever information I can give regarding the business, I will be happy to. But if I don’t know the answer, I can no longer bring myself to ask Warren. I told him that he is very much alive to me, to the family and to all those who love and care for him; but from now on, as far as the business is concerned, he is already gone. Life would have had to go on if the cancer had already taken him – it will need to go on when he is this incapacitated and fighting for his life. Warren is grateful for my resolve. I will and I must remain firm and strong for his sake.

Every once in a while reality sinks in and I realize I'm not in a nightmare - I'm awake, this is our real life, and it may get far worse before it gets any better. I start to panic and feel as if I'm going to cry, then I give it over to God and just ask him to carry us through another day.

Today has been one of those days; but God, family, our faith and the help and prayers of my wonderful family and friends – all of you out there - are tremendous blessings. Those are the things that get us through each and every day. Thank you for being there!


New member
Arnetta wrote
Every once in a while reality sinks in and I realize I'm not in a nightmare - I'm awake, this is our real life, and it may get far worse before it gets any better. I start to panic and feel as if I'm going to cry, then I give it over to God and just ask him to carry us through another day.

My dear, I feel like this every day. My healing prayers go out each night for each and every one of God's children fighting this horror called cancer. Bless you both.


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Thursday, June 18, 2009 6:25 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren Journal

Warren’s weight dipped a bit this morning but only ¼ pound to 141.75. That may be due to the fact that he opted for one of the highly desirable egg rolls with duck sauce brought for all of us by our friend, Celeste, rather than his higher calorie tube feeding. He enjoyed the egg roll so much that we figured it was a pretty good trade-off. He still enjoyed his dark chocolate later in the evening, too.

I’m sorry to say that Warren’s increase in strength from a couple days ago still hasn’t returned. We haven’t given up hope, though. He’s resting a lot today in hopes of feeling better later. We’ve decided it’s best for him to listen to his body and not push himself beyond what he feels most comfortable with. We’d rather have an incremental but steady increase than one day on and one day off.

As of this afternoon, after several unsuccessful trips to the lavatory and some self-diagnosis, we think we know what is causing Warren’s pain. He is blocked up again - nothing has moved through him for the past few days and now the exit is blocked. I gave him a dose of Miralax to wash down two Phillips tablets with lots of water so hopefully by tomorrow he will get some much needed relief.

This blockage problem seems to occur when Warren tries to eat “real food”. He misses food a great deal and longs for the simple pleasure of eating some of his favorites. However, it’s just not worth what it seems to do to him so he has again sworn off trying to consume any food by mouth. He would rather live on Ensure, formula and melt in his mouth chocolate than go through this agony again.

I’ve spent the day dealing with business issues without input from Warren except for the one job within his purview that he knew we had committed to and felt prepared to deal with. I wish I could say that particular job went without a hitch – the right hand of the IRS never does know what the left hand is doing. We have come to expect that. That’s one of the major reasons why tax work is so stressful. Warren has done his part on his computer and I will try to handle it from there.

Thank you to everyone for your words of wisdom, love and encouragement regarding my near melt down yesterday. Some of you have encouraged me to go ahead and cry out loud – very loud, in fact. I actually tried to do that last night (just medium loud) after putting Warren to bed, but it didn’t really happen – not at all loudly anyway. With Warren at one end of the house and Dad at the other, it’s hard to find a private place around here at any time where I know I won’t be heard, and it’s impossible to find much time to go somewhere else far enough away during the day. A few silent tears last night seemed to help me, though, so I’ll allow myself that luxury a bit more often. God always seems to be there to dry the tears as quickly as they fall.

Thanks for checking in again. Have a great evening and God Bless you all!


Food Sound Eng.
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'lil Chef
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is it a peg tube with a slow drip? maybe he can take his feedings & meals together. that's the way i gained after an ilness.

hugs to you both, & my best to you!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Friday, June 19, 2009 9:28 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal

Back up to 142 today!
Warren’s transportation by wheelchair and self propelled walker was mixed today. That is a step up. He did a few rounds on the exercise bike, too.
There has been no luck in the lavatory yet so Warren’s intestines still hurt but he feels that relief may be close. We hope for tomorrow. We always give him three colace capsules every day but we’ve added doctor recommended Miralax for the past two days and will again tomorrow. Then I want to go to every other day on the Miralax. The next day we may need to resort to dynamite instead!
As for me, I’ve been too busy today to think about crying, screaming or yelling. That release will have to wait til another day and then I’ll try some of the helpful hints you’ve given me. I like the idea of using the car as a sound chamber. I also like allowing myself 15 minutes each day for a “self-pity party” before getting on with the rest of my day.
Besides being an extremely busy day, today has also been a very long one. I couldn’t sleep past 5am because of worries about business issues so I got up and worked on them. I made good progress, so I do believe I will sleep tonight. I’m very sleepy already, in fact. I almost dozed off over this keyboard a moment ago.
Tomorrow, I’m actually looking forward to mostly just folding laundry, watering plants, doing household chores and taking care of the cats and my star patient. Then I believe I will feel less like crying because those are the things I want to do - especially the lattermost one!

Have a great evening everyone and God be with you all!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
is it a peg tube with a slow drip? maybe he can take his feedings & meals together. that's the way i gained after an ilness.

hugs to you both, & my best to you!
Luv-I e-mailed your Quote to Arnetta. Everything is appreciated.


New member
Hi Luvs,
I finally got a few minutes to explore what is going on at NCT and I wanted to reply to you. The tube feeding is a slow drip. There are days, though, when Warren has difficulty digesting even the liquid food because of the pancreatic tumor activity, so solid food seems to cause him a lot of trouble. He does occasionally try to eat some soft foods in addition to the liquid formula and later usually feels as if it has caused problems. We have found that it's easy for him to let treats such as a bit of dark chocolate melt in his mouth and that helps his desire for tasting. We will keep trying different things. His weight was up just a smidgen more this morning! Thanks for the tip - suggestions are always appreciated!

Arnetta Mae


Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Dear Arnetta,
My dad took me and my mom on a similar journey and I am on a different one with my mom right now. There are always good days and bad days. Do not be discouraged when Warren needs to sleep. My father needed a gastric nasal tube for a time but that, too passed and he wound up back to eating. The steroids enabled him to gain weight but also dried up lung tissue so it was a double edged sword. When he was in Hospice he had several requests: house special fried noodles from his favorite Hunan Coventry restaurant, rolls and butter and Hersheys' chocolate. My biggest concern was his comfort and pain management. Yes, pulmonologists can be rather abrupt but my dad's doc was grateful to be wrong because he survived two more years than this expert claimed he had. He also said that I couldn't take care of my dad at home but I did. I will keep you both in my prayers. Try to remember to take care of you, too, Arnetta Mae. That was where I failed and got sick. It is a long road back to health and wellness best not to let the stress takes it toll unchecked.


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Saturday, June 20, 2009 6:48 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal

Okay – a tad over 142 this morning! We’re movin' on up.
Warren has had pain in the stomach area all day but the residual checks have indicated an empty stomach each time, so we have been able to do his feedings on schedule. He has had some success at elimination, too, so we didn’t need to break out the dynamite just yet.
Warren’s fondest wish for Father’s Day is to be “clean as a whistle inside and out”. We hope both wishes come true. The “inside” part has yet to be realized. The “out” part we’ll take care of tonight. For three mornings in a row, Warren hasn’t felt well enough to get a shower. However, for the first time this year, he has actually been too warm today, so he will get a shower this evening before going to bed.
Speaking of Father’s Day, we wish all you dads and your families a great one! At our house, Justin and Kate mentioned coming early in the afternoon to get some yard work done. Caryn will go to church with Tim and the girls in the morning, and then come here to be with her dad. Whether Tim can come or not is up in the air as of this evening. He has a big project due at work on Monday and he just took the homeward bound German cousins to Metro this afternoon while Caryn stayed home with the girls. Tim will probably need to work tomorrow. I told Caryn to tell Tim we’ll do a second edition of Father’s Day when he has time to come, too.

As for tomorrow, I think we’ll keep the food simple; we’ll make a salad and get Chinese for dinner. While she is here, Caryn is going to make warm brownies to go with ice cream. I always have all the toppings on hand, too – caramel, butterscotch, chocolate syrup, marshmallow, strawberry, pineapple, and, of course, chopped nuts.

Father’s Day, as you can imagine, is especially significant for our family this year. The futures of my own father (turning 95 on August 2) and Warren, the father of our children, Caryn and Justin, are far from certain. We all hope and pray that it’s not the last Father’s Day for either of them. Still, we will continue to cherish every day as if it is the last.

It’s time to get back to business. If anything noteworthy happens in our journey tomorrow, I’ll try to write a line or two in the journal for posterity. Otherwise, our family will just concentrate on Father’s Day festivities and enjoying them to the fullest! We hope you will all have a great Sunday, too! God Bless you one and all!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Dear Arnetta,
My dad took me and my mom on a similar journey and I am on a different one with my mom right now. There are always good days and bad days. Do not be discouraged when Warren needs to sleep. My father needed a gastric nasal tube for a time but that, too passed and he wound up back to eating. The steroids enabled him to gain weight but also dried up lung tissue so it was a double edged sword. When he was in Hospice he had several requests: house special fried noodles from his favorite Hunan Coventry restaurant, rolls and butter and Hersheys' chocolate. My biggest concern was his comfort and pain management. Yes, pulmonologists can be rather abrupt but my dad's doc was grateful to be wrong because he survived two more years than this expert claimed he had. He also said that I couldn't take care of my dad at home but I did. I will keep you both in my prayers. Try to remember to take care of you, too, Arnetta Mae. That was where I failed and got sick. It is a long road back to health and wellness best not to let the stress takes it toll unchecked.
Thanks Susan, ArnettaMae doesn't read this everyday! I will E-mail this to her!:respect:


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Monday, June 22, 2009 7:22 PM, EDT

We had a wonderful Father’s Day! Warren and Dad appreciated everything so much and we had a great time. The kids – Caryn, Justin and Kate – came in the mid afternoon and stayed till well after dinner.
The kids were a huge help to us! Now that summer has finally arrived, it is getting warmer in our house – even Warren has been too warm! He has definitely shed the heavy layers shown in the earlier journal photos when the indoor temperatures were in the high 60’s and low 70’s.
The timing of the warm weather was perfect since it waited until I had help readily available! First the kids changed the storm door windows to screens. It’s especially nice to have the screen in the master bedroom door that leads out to the upper deck so we can get some cross ventilation at night. After the doors were done, the kids worked together to get the insulation out of our whole house fan thus rendering it operational. Now we are ready for those 90 degree days in the forcast this week.
After the Father’s Day chores, we had a great Chinese dinner from Golden Phoenix on Orchard Lake just north of 15 Mile Rd. We agree with Celeste – it’s a great place to get Chinese carry out. We are STILL eating from the generous portions they give there. Kate surprised us with a delicious Harveys Bristol Cream Cheesecake for dessert so we tabled the ice cream and warm brownies with choice of toppings until next time. We’ll revisit that idea when Tim and the grandkids are able to come for Father’s Day II.
The kids were amazed at the new old family room that Celeste helped me to declutter and rearrange. They all agreed that the new arrangement makes you want to go in, sit down and have a cozy conversation. And it looks so much larger! If all goes well, I will be able to post a picture of the arrangement in my Caring Bridge photos. I learned how to do that from Caryn last night when she helped me download our Father’s Day photos. The kids also showed me how to operate our digital camera so I could take their pictures – also posted.
Warren’s doctor appointment went pretty well today. His blood pressure was 110/70, his temp was 97.6, he has gained weight and his breathing is improving. Pending the results of his blood test today (expected to be okay) Warren will begin his next session of chemo tomorrow – the first of three weeks before another break and more testing by CT scan of the chest, liver and pancreas.
Dr. Doyle gave me the CT order today so I can call radiology and get it set up for the week off. I will do that tomorrow. Dr. Doyle also explained to us that chemo will be added as necessary in three week increments with one week off in between. Everything hinges on that next CT scan and Warren’s health at the end of the next three weeks.
Warren chose not to tell Dr. Doyle about the degree of constant intestinal pain he has been enduring this past week. He is still hoping it is caused by some remaining constipation. Or maybe his new theory is correct; he believes that the Ave Mar may be causing the problem since his pain gets worse after drinking it (which he hates). I’ve agreed that we can discontinue the daily 8 ounce Ave Mar for a couple days to see if that helps.
We are, of course, praying for the best outcome. In our view, that would be that the chemo has done its job and we are free to pursue all the non chemo cancer prevention treatments and cures that I have been reading about. Warren does want to follow through with chemo. The final decision must be Warren's and I will support whatever he feels is best. I pray that God guides him to make the best choice. I'm sure you will all join me in that prayer.

Thanks for checking in and have a great evening!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Tuesday, June 23, 2009 10:38 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal

When I got up this morning I decided I would take a bit of time to add a few photos to Caring Bridge. I’ve mentioned Warren’s brother, Bob, several times and never included a picture of him so I figured some of you might like to “meet” him. Our best pictures of Bob were taken on our yearly LasVegas adventure beginning in the 1990’s.
Looking for good pictures of Bob in Vegas made me think about all the things our whole family is missing this summer - things which once filled our summer days with adventure and excitement (and, I admit, quite a bit of hecticity). I’ve included pictures of all those things that used bring us happiness. There are still a few images I need to find in our photo archives and possibly I’ll need to beg a few from Caryn.
Now that those adventures are no longer an option, looking at the photos brings a flood of memories – memories that are mostly sweet with a touch of bitter because the activities they depict, at least in their previous form, will most likely never be options again. It was with mixed feelings of joy and sadness that I downloaded favorite pictures from trips to LasVegas with Bob, camping with the Golisch kids, summer overnight visits from the granddaughters, and sailing with Justin (this year we planned to include Kate).
Without our Whitehouse family patriarch, Warren, in optimum health, the future lives and activities of all of us would inevitably be altered throughout the coming years. Sadly, there are many doors being closed to us if Warren succumbs to cancer; I pray if that is the case, that God, as the saying goes, opens some windows. It’s hard to imagine right now what , if any, compensation there could be that could dull the pain of losing Warren’s company.
On the home front, thanks to Celestial inspiration (from my friend, Celeste, of course) I continue to accomplish little projects each day that bring me bits of pleasure on a smaller scale than the family room makeover. They add up, however and, in sum, add to my daily happiness quotient. For example, today I followed Celeste’s suggestion and moved my shower stuff to the main bathroom so I didn't need to move the transfer bench that Warren needs to have in the master bedroom bath. I haven't enjoyed a shower so much in years! The European shower head in the main bath and the natural daylight and ventilation provided by a window (not available in the MB Bath) were refreshing for a change. I love the undersea decor that Justin instigated and worked on before he moved to Ypsi and the stained glass panel that we bought for that bathroom, too!
Warren had chemo this afternoon. His blood test from yesterday was very good so hopefully he will make it through the next two sessions without too much difficulty. Even more hopefully, he will then be done with chemo. He doesn’t feel at all well this afternoon but that is to be expected for at least 48 hours following the reintroduction of toxic chemicals into his system. I still have a hard time accepting that concept after all I have read concerning it, but evidently chemo therapy has worked for some. I’ve even heard of pancreatic cancer patients still walking around after a few years. I pray to God that Warren will be one of them!
I’m late journaling tonight because I spent the time since we got home from chemo taking care of Warren’s meds and two feedings AND getting ready for my appointment with Social Security tomorrow. I need to get both our applications in the works in order to get July checks. I needed to print out personal returns and w2s, and corporate returns for two corporations – W3PC and W3FSI – for two years and fill out some paperwork for each. I was also told to bring birth certificates, driver’s licenses and a blank check for direct deposit. I think I’ve finally got everything together.
Warren wants to be in bed at 10pm and I’m still not done with cats so I need to rush off for now. Wish me luck at SS tomorrow. I managed to get an appointment at a time when Warren is fairly self-sufficient and I will ask Dad to check on him, too. I need to get this done.
Goodnight everyone. God bless you all!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Wednesday, June 24, 2009 6:10 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren Journal

Warren weighed 142 again this morning. This is Warren’s second day without Ave Mar and his pain hasn’t lessened as he hoped it would. However, he hates drinking the Ave Mar so much that I’m sympathetic to his reluctance to add it back to his regimen. He is still taking the Hydrazine Sulfate, another cachexia remedy that I have a lot of faith in, so as long as he doesn’t start wasting away again, we will continue this way for now.

The Social Security meeting went okay today, but now Warren and I are both very stressed. We had extended all our 2008 returns – our personal and the two corporations – until October 15 and September 15 respectively. We have now been told that because we owned the corporations from which our wages were paid in 2008, we can’t begin to receive social security until all 2008 returns are done and filed. To get our June checks, the three returns must be filed by July 6 when our Social Security case worker returns from vacation.

I have many hours of work to do before Warren will even have the figures he needs to finish the three returns, if, that is, he feels up to it at all. There are other loose ends I’m trying to tie up, too, regarding client corporate quarterlies (including our own) and several other urgent issues.

Warren says we will get the returns done when we get them done. We may lose out on some SS checks but it won’t be the end of the world. I do know that in order to do my part, I will need to cut back on the things I really enjoy doing, including writing this journal. At the very least, I will need to practice brevity – you may have guessed, brevity doesn’t come naturally or easily to me.

Of course, as many of you have told me, there’s always the option of a good cry! Early on when Warren was in the hospital and I had come home to take care of things here, I cried a lot - even screamed. Nights were especially hard when I was suddenly all alone in our King sized bed. I really felt the isolation in that huge voided space.

Back in those early days of March and April, in addition to missing Warren and knowing full well the seriousness of his illness, I also had countless doubts and fears regarding things that I have never needed to know about or attend to. Since then I have faced many of those fears one day at a time and found able help with many issues that I couldn’t take care of myself. I have to say, therefore, that between then and now things have been better enough that I haven't felt the need to scream any more. There is, however, no stopping the occasional tears.

After this afternoon, I may find a scream in my repertoire, too. At any rate, I think I'm venting enough to stay healthy. Thanks for listening and for the prayers - they help


Food Sound Eng.
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Thursday, June 25, 2009 9:06 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal.

Warren was down to 141 this morning. We were disappointed but I told him that we must quit being so fixated on his weight. We’ll take every measure possible to keep it above 140 for now and then maybe after chemo is over we can step up our efforts to put more weight on him.

In spite of relentless abdominal pain, Warren slept pretty much all day on only one Tylenol III. We hope tomorrow – the third day after chemo – will bring less pain and more energy his way.

It's been a busy day! (Aren’t they all!?) I got a lot of stuff done today so I'm feeling better.

Regarding the tax returns, a few of you have suggested that we hire them done – our 1040 and the two corporation returns. I still need to do my part to get all the info together in a form that someone else can use in order to coordinate all three entities. If, after that, Warren isn't up to helping me create and e-file the returns, we will consider hiring an accountant to do the final reckoning and filing.

I'm also expecting to hear from Dale regarding his proposed talk with SS. Dale figured they should be able to do something without the 2008 returns being filed but the lady I talked to was pretty adamant that filing is necessary before benefits can begin. At any rate, Warren and I figure at this point we might as well wait and file for the slightly higher Medicare benefits he would get at age 65. That milestone is only two months away for Warren (birth date 9-1-1944) and our insurance must change to Medicare by then anyhow. In fact, he could even file as disabled and get even more per month.

Thankfully, I’m less worried about our insurance trying to refuse payment than I previously was. The latest statement we received from Henry Ford seems to indicate that our Flexible Blue has already been billed and paid a very large amount of the hospital bill to date - over $100,000.00. Our total balance thus far is still under the $10,000 which, according to our current insurance plan, is supposed to be our maximum annual hospital expense.

Since Warren is much more stable now than he was in March and April, hospital bills between now and his September 1st birthday when he must go on Medicare, should be much less than they have been prior to this point. Our major cost is still the $3330 per month for Tarceva since the drug portion of our insurance benefits topped out at $2,500. I have no idea what Medicare would do with Tarceva! With any luck they will cover it if Warren continues with chemo after Medicare becomes our primary provider. That would be a huge help!

I’m very sleepy again tonight and Warren is still sleepy so we will be heading to bed very soon. I stayed focused and got a lot of small and medium sized jobs out of the way so I can focus on Warren and bookkeeping tomorrow. I hope to be done with the books by the end of next week. Then I can get back to the more fun things in life like playing nurse and playing house!

Good night and God Bless Us, Everyone!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
I like Arnetta's Sence of humor-
"Then I can get back to the more fun things in life like playing nurse and playing house!"

Most of us can think of these as a struggle! To her this would be childs play, after all else she has to do!
God Bless You Arnetta & Warren -- You Too Wasabi & Bo!


Food Sound Eng.
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My Story

I, Arnetta, have been Warren's wife since July 1, 1967. We have two wonderful children, their loving mates and four grandchildren who love him, too. Welcome to our CaringBridge site. It has been created to keep friends and family updated about our loved one.
Please read the latest in the journal, view the photo gallery, and drop us a line in the guestbook.

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Friday, June 26, 2009 8:49 PM, EDT

I want to receive Journal update notification e-mails.
Warren still weighed 141.25 this morning. We will be happy just to hold it there for now.

My patient is suffering a large degree of pain and still blames lack of elimination for that. We have given him Miralax for the third day in a row now. He also takes ZMA and Colace three times every day and almost all his food is liquid. Today I gave him warm prune juice, too. That really seemed to help last time he got to this point. He says, he just doesn’t have the strength or muscle tone to push anymore.

It breaks my heart to hear Warren praying to God for help in the bathroom. One just shouldn’t need to pray about something so basic. I’m quite sure that God is listening, though, so maybe Warren's prayers will be answered by bedtime or tomorrow morning.

I received an e-mail from my good friend Helga this morning asking some pretty good questions. I thought I’d pass the questions and answers along to you in case some of you have wondered about the same things.

Helga: I think you're right to not worry so much about the weight, unless he starts losing by leaps and bounds. I'm more concerned about the abdominal pains. You said he didn't tell the doctor about it? Are you O.K. with that?
Arnetta: We have mentioned the pain to Dr. Doyle often; Warren just chose not to emphasize it when he was being evaluated for further chemo. He did mention some pain (5 on a scale of 1 to 10) to the nurse but told her he thought it was due to temporary constipation. Whenever we mention pain to Dr. Doyle he isn't surprised - he says Warren should be in a lot of pain considering the extent of his cancer. In fact, he would be surprised to hear that Warren is pain free. Dr. Doyle wants Warren to take stuff for it - even Tylenol III helps. But pain meds constipate so Warren tries to avoid them for that reason. Also, they totally knock him out and he hates to live his life that way.

Helga: Is Warren just doing the tube feedings and some dark chocolate?
Arnetta: Besides those two things he also drinks an Ensure Plus every morning (another 350 calories). He did try to eat a little Chinese food on Father's Day and had a small piece of the Harvey's Bristol Cream Cheesecake but that's the only food he has had in a few weeks.

Helga: You haven't said too much about the RIFE programs.
Arnetta: Warren knows I would like him to do the Rife and he has good intentions. Any further insistence on my part would be "nagging" and I can't afford to upset him. It can really set him back. He already moans when he sees me coming with pill cups because he is having so much trouble swallowing pills. (I feel so “mean” sometimes.) Warren says after chemo is over he will do the Rife programs faithfully.

I had a fairly productive day today. I spent most of the day still getting those important jobs out of the way (client mailings, banking and bill paying) before I can buckle down and hyperfocus on the books. We also had a short and enjoyable visit from Tom and Carol. They were only here for a few minutes before Warren was ready to sleep again. After they left I took my stack of mail to the post office and got home just in time to feed Warren at 4:00pm.

I have 2008 reciepts and bills organized by the month so tomorrow I will start with January. Now it’s time for Warren’s last feeding and soon after that, bed. I’ll have a lot of prayers to say tonight!

Thanks for checking in and for your continued support in all ways large and small!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Saturday, June 27, 2009 9:37 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta journal

Warren was thrilled by the number on the scale this morning – 142.5, a new record! No more Ave Mar looks like a good possibility and that makes him even happier!
Warren’s day today was much the same as yesterday – pain, some success in the lavatory but too hard to pass and not enough volume to give him complete relief, and, of course, sleep – a lot of sleep.
I took some time to help the chorus by finding my archive practice tapes and CD’s for the upcoming concerts. In so doing I ended up doing some much needed organization of trouble spots in the house.
While I was in the mood to improve our home, I decided to act on last nights thought to rearrange our bedroom to make it easier for Warren to get to the bathroom during the night. The new arrangement gives him a wider pathway so he will be able to use the walker instead of just a walking stick. Recently Warren has suffered from neuropathy in the toes of his left foot. The lack of sensation makes him even more unsteady so we’d both feel more secure if he has the use of the walker or, if necessary, a wheelchair at night when he is very groggy.
We’ll try the walker with the carpet in place tonight. If the carpet hinders the ease of pushing the walker, tomorrow I will rip up at least the path area to give him a smooth runway. All the carpet upstairs has to go anyway in preparation for finishing the oak floors underneath. So far, I’ve ripped up the smaller two out of four bedrooms.
Tomorrow, I’m determined to get a small start on those books but Monday will be the real work day. With any luck, I’ll have everything together by Friday. Of course, we’ll need to do something to commemorate our 42nd wedding anniversary on Wednesday, July 1st. Happy Anniversary, also, to our good friends from the Farmington Community Chorus, Kathy and Bruce Hall. We were all married on the same day in the same year!
It’s bed time again. Goodnight and God Bless Us, Everyone!


Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Arnetta, with G-d's help, my father made it through my birthday, his granddaughter's birthday and his 53rd wedding anniversary to my mother. My dad had two more years than all the expert doctors said he had. Cherish these days. Enjoy every moment. He is still here and you can hug and kiss him and talk to him. These are the things I miss most. I wish I had my dad to ask his advice about things. Each day is a gift and a blessing. My father felt so lucky and grateful to be alive despite all the difficulties--he did not wish to leave us. Best to you always and know you are still in my prayers.
Hugs, Susan


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Sunday, June 28, 2009 10:10 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren's Journal.
Jay and Kate came for the evening and it was good to have their company. Warren was very weak and tired but he was able to enjoy some time with them, too. Kate brought her laptop to show us some pictures of the miracles that Justin is working in their backyard. The pond looks very nice and it even has four resident Coi - one fancy tail, one plain gold, one bright calico, and one dark calico, which was able to remain pretty much undetectable in all the photographs.

After the Ypsi backyard update, the four of us finished watching a program that we had begun the Sunday before Father's Day about a fossil which scientist feel may be the missing link that Darwin dreamed about finding one day - very interesting!

Warren's started out the day on a good note - up another 1/4 pound to 142 and 3/4. We were happy about that. The rest of the day was pretty much like the two days before - pain, continued bowel problems and lots and lots of sleep.

I just tucked Warren in and it's time for me to get to bed, too. I'm hoping to have better news tomorrow.

Good night and good dreams


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Monday, June 29, 2009 8:10 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal

As far as we can tell, Warren’s weight dropped back down to no less than 142 this morning. I need to qualify that number because Warren is having a hard time standing steady on the scale. Consequently, his strength gives out before I can adjust the tens and single digit weight enough to make the bubble stop moving and center it between the lines. However, we are happy with the range the bubble traverses within lately.

I believe we should go to less frequent weigh-ins just like we have gone to less frequent showers to conserve Warren’s strength. Hopefully, Warren will agree. We will be reporting to chemo earlier than usual tomorrow (10:30am) so we will need to feed Warren his tube meal first and take his Ensure Plus to chemo with us. It will be a rushed morning.

In response to an e-mail received this morning, I began to write a journal entry while waiting for Warren to rise and shine. I was struck by the fact that all the “specific challenges” resulting from chemo and talked about in the e-mailed article, up to and including the neuropathy in Warren’s feet, are the very things that I have been writing about in the past few journals.

After I post this entry, I will be writing a second entry to be posted later tonight or sometime tomorrow. In it I will journal the occurrences of this day – some of which were foreshadowed by the words I wrote this morning. There is no doubt whatsoever that God is listening to the pleas for guidance and answers which eminate constantly from my heart and soul.

This morning I wrote………..
For my part, I am having a very hard time accepting the ravaging effects of chemo on Warren. He seems so very sick to me that I constantly wonder if we are doing the right thing, but chemo is what he wants to do so I try to be supportive. To argue with him would cause dangerous stress and I'm convinced that's what brought him here in the first place. Besides that, although there are many, many alternative treatments and supposed "cures" out there that are much less toxic than chemo, it's a very confusing world of information to wade through when immediate action is required and time is so short. Every author claims his is "the best" alternative treatment and quotes studies to back up his claim.

Personally, I have faith in the Rife program, especially since it visibly removes the toxic wastes the article below speaks of - wastes left not only from chemo but from the targeted kills of the Rife Machine that rids the system of other pathogens the body is trying to fight along with the cancer. Seeing the foot bath water after running the program leaves no doubt in my mind that the Rife was helping Warren. In fact, during the short time we were using it, I noticed a return of healthy color and an increase in Warren’s vitality – both of which have diminished since we have discontinued the Rife. I wish Warren would agree to make following the Rife program a priority but he just doesn't seem to have the energy or will to even try. He promised he would after chemo is over, yet I can't help but think that getting rid of the toxic buildup between chemo sessions would help him a lot now. The doctor wrote the programs specifically to not interfere with the chemo process, but as a safeguard we could avoid using it in the first three or four days following chemo. If we use it for a couple days before the next chemo, it might well get rid of some of the debris before more is added as a result of the new chemo session.

Our friend, Roger, sent the following information by e-mail this morning. Warren is suffering from all of the “specific challenges” for cancer patients delineated below. It also contains general health guidelines that apply to everyone. Maybe you or someone you know might find this article of interest:

“DAILY HEALTH NEWS” contributor Mark Stengler, ND, shared his expertise on helping cancer survivors thrive as they work through the damage left by the disease and/or treatment. Specific challenges include:
  • A build-up of cellular waste in remaining tissue, due to the extreme toxicity of chemotherapy drugs. These powerful drugs kill healthy cells right along with the cancerous ones, leaving a residue that needs to be removed from the body.
  • Chemo depletes many important nutrient levels, often causing digestive problems as the drugs destroy much of the good flora in the gastrointestinal tract in addition to the lining of the tract itself.
  • "Chemo brain" is a catch-all term for the common memory glitches, lack of focus, mild cognitive impairment and fatigue that follow cancer treatment.
  • Peripheral neuropathy, which causes tingling, burning and numbness in the feet and sometimes hands (for information and treatment advice on neuropathy, see Daily Health News, April 13, 2009).
Dr. Stengler advises taking control with both diet and natural supplements. These can help create a healthier cellular environment, clean out the damage done by treatment and rebuild digestive health. Here are his dietary recommendations:
  • Fermented foods. Eat lots of miso, sauerkraut (the kind you buy at the health food store, not the deli), kefir and yogurt.
  • Water. Drink 60 to 70 ounces daily to flush toxins from your system. (Note: Limit water with meals to eight ounces as more can dilute the effectiveness of stomach acid.)
  • Fruits and vegetables. Enjoy these every day. If possible, buy organic, especially for soft fruits such as peaches, nectarines, strawberries and pears.
  • Avoid processed foods -- including sugar and white flour. This will eliminate refined sugars and unhealthy fats (trans fats, partially hydrogenated or hydrogenated fats and interesterified fats), all of which can be harmful to health.
  • Eat plenty of healthy fats. These are omega-3s, (found in flaxseed, walnuts and fatty fish including salmon, herring and sardines), balanced by some omega-6s (in corn and soybeans).
  • Avoid tuna, king mackerel, shark, swordfish and others with potentially high levels of mercury. You don’t need to add yet more toxins to your system.
Many tissues in the body are challenged by chemotherapy. Dr. Stengler finds supplements helpful to strengthen health overall and detoxify the liver -- which often endures the greatest insult. He often prescribes the following...
  • Antioxidants. These help rebuild health, potentially improve chemo outcomes and help to heal tissue damaged by radiation treatment. Among the supplements Dr. Stengler may prescribe -- CoQ10... vitamin C... vitamin E mixed with tocopherol/tocotrienols and a carotenoid complex... vitamin D... lycopene and selenium.
  • Probiotics. These can help balance the digestive system. Dr. Stengler typically prescribes one with a blend of Lactobacillus acidophilus and Bifidobacterium bifidum.
  • Greens-chlorella. These deliver phytochemicals, which can be helpful to a system damaged by chemotherapy. Sun Chlorella is a brand he likes.
  • Wheatgrass. It contains helpful vitamin K and chlorophyll antioxidants.
  • Milk thistle. This herb helps support the liver and kidneys by protecting cells against damage caused by breakdown products of the cellular debris and chemo drugs.
  • NAC. N-acetylcysteine, derived from a protein amino acid derivative L-cysteine, aids in the breakdown of drug and cellular wastes.
Systemic inflammation is, not surprisingly, a problem that lingers long after cancer treatment. Dr. Stengler says that his patients who follow an improved diet and take many of the above supplements, along with getting regular exercise, often note reduced inflammation.
Dr. Stengler usually recommends an aerobic form of exercise for 30 minutes five times weekly and strength training for 15 minutes twice weekly. If you haven’t already been exercising, go slowly in establishing a routine -- fighting cancer and taking chemo or radiation exhaust many energy reserves in the body. Rest and recuperation are more important than pushing your workout to a higher level.
It can be challenging to keep your stress levels under control after dealing with cancer, but this too is important to strengthen your health. If you are having trouble with lack of focus, depression or anxiety, Dr. Stengler suggests that counseling may help you regain your physical and mental strength. Certain natural substances can also be helpful -- Dr. Stengler may prescribe phosphatidylserine for cognitive dysfunction... S-adenosylmethionine (SAMe) for depression... and 5-hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP) for anxiety and depression.
Immunity levels may need a push after the challenges of treatment. There are several substances that may be supportive. These include Beta Glucan Formula, and mushroom extracts such as Grifola frondosa (Maitake), Lentinula edodes (Shiitake) and Coriolus versicolor. Fermented wheat germ extract in powder form (mixed in water or juice) may also be prescribed. Under your doctor’s supervision, it is okay to use these supplements in combination, but your bank account may feel the pain. Ask your doctor what your priorities should be and choose a regimen accordingly.
If your immunity has been severely compromised, you may want to ask your physician about intravenous delivery of vitamin C and glutathione. If appropriate for you, this treatment may assist with tissue repair and will also help improve immune function.
Generally speaking, an excellent way to bridge the gap between your oncological treatment and your internist is to work with a naturopathic physician, who can prescribe and supervise a regimen such as the one Dr. Stengler presents here that may help fast-track you back to health.
Mark Stengler, ND, a naturopathic physician and leading authority on the practice of alternative and integrated medicine. He is author of Bottom Line/Natural Healing newsletter, author of The Natural Physician’s Healing Therapies (Bottom Line Books), director of the La Jolla Whole Health Clinic in La Jolla, California and adjunct associate clinical professor at the National College of Natural Medicine in Portland, Oregon. To learn more about his work, visit


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Tuesday, June 30, 2009 7:42 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren's Journal

Lately, Warren has slept a lot giving me lots of quiet time to contemplate. Until around noon yesterday, I was floundering in a sea of worry about him. It had been six days since chemo and Warren seemed to be getting worse each day instead of better. How on earth was he going to go through another chemo today, and worse yet, how would he feel with even more toxins and more dead wastes flooding his body? How would he ever be able to eliminate the toxic wastes if his digestive system isn’t working properly and we aren’t doing the Rife footbath?

I wondered if I would ever really get my Warren back. Often, when he was awake, I hardly recognized him. His voice has changed a lot and it’s very hard to accurately discern the tonal meaning of things he says – impatience or just difficulty in speaking? Displeasure or just difficulty in speaking? Was his wonderful sense of humor ever going to return? A million questions and not an answer in sight!

Then there came an episode that changed everything.

Earlier Warren had asked for nail clippers smaller than the toenail ones he keeps on his side table, so that he could clip his fingernails. When I saw him using the bigger clippers instead of the smaller ones I had found for him, I simply asked, “Were the other ones too small (they really are quite a bit smaller). Warren’s immediate reply, with all the earmarks of exasperation, was, “You have to relax! You try too hard!” His unexpected and seemingly harsh answer hit me like a brick. My throat swelled up and I fought back the tears. After a few minutes I said as calmly as I could, “Well, I guess that’s probably better than not trying, isn’t it.”

Warren looked at me in total surprise, and said, “I was just teasing you. I’m so sorry, I can’t believe you thought that was anything but teasing.” I explained to him that he hasn’t been well enough to joke around in a long time and his voice is very different so it’s hard for me to read it now. As he is aware, he also gets nervous much more easily now than he once did, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I do things that aggravate him once in a while. I just thought that the question about the clippers was an awfully strange thing for him to get so aggravated about and there must be something much more serious underlying it.

Warren apologized a couple more times throughout the afternoon saying again how sorry he was to have hurt me for even a second. I kept reassuring him that I was okay. I’m very glad that his sense of humor is making a comeback and I encourage its reappearance at any time – I’ll just be prepared to chalk it up to teasing if it’s directed at me in such a way again.

That episode turned out to be a good thing. It opened up a lot of conversation about the changes in our lives. Without me even bringing it up, Warren assured me that he knows how hard it is for me to have to make decisions that should be made by both of us regarding taxes, social security, the house and the seemingly thousands of things once within his area of expertise that now fall to me. He promised to try his best to stay calm and help me to make the right decisions for both of us. Now I feel so much less alone. I’m not sure Warren is up to helping much but his understanding and willingness to try mean a lot to me.

We also talked about my discomfort with chemo and Warren’s wish to continue with it. I told him about my theory that using the Rife foot bath for a couple days before a chemo treatment may help to get rid of some of the waste from the previous chemo, especially since his system is sluggish. I reminded him about the fact that everyone noticed his improved skin tone while we were doing the footbath. He agreed to try it so we did the Rife cancer treatment and the footbath yesterday afternoon. The wastewater was the blackest thickest sludge we had had yet – looked like we had discovered crude oil! Thus, we now have help with point number 1…………
· A build-up of cellular waste in remaining tissue, due to the extreme toxicity of chemotherapy drugs. These powerful drugs kill healthy cells right along with the cancerous ones, leaving a residue that needs to be removed from the body.

I told Warren it is important to get his gastrointestinal tract cleaned out as naturally as possible. The krill tablets and the acidophilus pearls aren’t very large to swallow and he also enjoys the daily warm prune juice – answers to number 2…………………………
· Chemo depletes many important nutrient levels, often causing digestive problems as the drugs destroy much of the good flora in the gastrointestinal tract in addition to the lining of the tract itself.

The next point Warren addressed for himself. He needs something to stimulate his brain. He has always enjoyed Sudoku. He had collected a bunch of the puzzles from newspapers and magazines, so he can do those to pass the time during the two-hour footbath and chemo, too. That will certainly help point number 3…………………………
· "Chemo brain" is a catch-all term for the common memory glitches, lack of focus, mild cognitive impairment and fatigue that follow cancer treatment.

We are trying foot massages for point number 4. Tonight, I’ll look at the underlined issue of Daily Health News below…………………….
· Peripheral neuropathy, which causes tingling, burning and numbness in the feet and sometimes hands (for information and treatment advice on neuropathy, see Daily Health News, April 13, 2009).

Warren had chemo this morning so our schedule has been very busy today. He is in an awful lot of pain again and took two Tylenol III tablets at 5pm – just before we heard the newscast about how people are frying their livers with acetaminophen over the counter strength drugs that should now be available only by prescription in small amounts. As if chemo isn’t doing enough bad stuff to Warren’s liver – now I have to worry about Tylenol! Pain, Pain, go away, and never come another day!

Another good thing was decided by me and Warren today. Dale did a lot of sleuthing with Social Security regarding our situation. Thanks to Dale’s valuable assistance, I have been given a reprieve for getting the tax stuff together. It won’t be necessary to have the returns until the end of August – much more comfortable timing.

Now I am free to plan for and enjoy our 42nd wedding anniversary tomorrow. I have something very special planned for the afternoon thanks to my good friend, Helga’s, wonderful suggestion about renewing our vows. Then Kate and Justin called and asked if they could come later to fix an anniversary dinner for Warren and me to help celebrate our big day. We are really looking forward to the day of festivities. We just hope that Warren feels a little better tomorrow than he has today.

I most likely won’t have time to journal tomorrow but please check in on July 2nd for a full report. I look forward to writing the memoirs of the day!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Thursday, July 2, 2009 7:15 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta's Journal.

Our anniversary was very special. After Warren’s shower, we dressed him in blue – it brings out the beautiful blue of his eyes. He looked very handsome.

I picked out an off-white outfit to change into later. It was a somewhat dressy v-neck top and white jeans ensemble - reminiscent of a bridal outfit but more in keeping with my current preference for casual clothing. I could possibly have squeezed into my wedding gown, but that would have been pretty impractical.

Reverend Bough was due to arrive around 2pm so we attempted to have a fairly routine morning. The routine was very pleasantly interrupted by the delivery of a vase of beautiful flowers in honor of our anniversary from our Nardin Park friends, Judy and Terry.

The next interruption in our routine was a scary one. Warren assured me that I came close to losing the bridegroom. He was feeling very fatigued from the chemo on Tuesday so he slept a lot and tried to wake up long enough for feedings, medication, and his daily prune juice which I had given him with a couple of his required pills.

The prune juice part was where I almost lost Warren. I heard him choking and ran in to check on him. His face was etched in terror and his eyes as large as saucers. He couldn’t draw a breath. I was sure he had a pill stuck in his throat again. Putting his arms up didn’t help this time, and Mom had taught me not to hit him on the back because doing that can lodge the object deeper making it even more dangerous.

Warren was too surrounded by plush couch for me to get behind him and try the Heimlich (which I had never done), so we managed to get him to his feet with his back toward me. I put my arms around him and gave him a sudden intense squeeze like I thought I had seen the Heimlich done at one time. Thank God, it did the trick! Warren says he is alive because I was there and dared to try something I had never done. I had no idea whether I was tall enough to squeeze him in the right place or how hard to squeeze but I had to try! Needless to say, we are both glad I did!

Reverend Bough arrived a little after 2pm as planned with the supplies to give us communion and bless our marriage. I swear I was as nervous as a new bride with anticipation. I knew I would have a hard time making it through the words I wanted to say. However, I had printed them out in large print on beautiful paper and framed the page in a plaque to present to Warren. It was a comfort to know that if I couldn’t give my words voice, Warren could still read what was in my heart.

Choking back the tears, I make it through the whole page with some difficulty. Then I noticed that Reverend Bough and especially Warren were obviously moved as well. Reverend Bough took our free hands as we held fast to each other with the other hand. The reverend’s beautiful prayer and blessing on our marriage that followed made the ceremony perfectly memorable, just as I had hoped it would be.

Our perfect afternoon was followed by a perfectly wonderful evening. It was Justin and Kate’s day off work so they showed up with a bouquet of flowers, Kate’s wonderful spaghetti casserole, wine, fixings for salad and garlic bread, and for dessert - warm brownies. Justin put the flowers in a vase, made the toasted garlic bread and opened the wine while Kate took care of everything else and MORE!

It’s usually hard for Warren to sit up in a chair long enough to eat a meal (or do anything significant for that matter), especially the day after chemo, so I got out Warren’s tray and prepared to feed him at his usual spot on the couch. But when Kate saw me getting the tray, she said she was hoping that we could pull Dad’s wheel chair up to the table so he could eat with us and not be so isolated in the other room. Truthfully, I was skeptical since Warren was still so weak from chemo, but I was very glad that he wanted to try.

With Warren at the table, dinner was another wonderful anniversary experience! I found a cushion for Warren’s back to make the wheel chair more comfortable and he made it through the whole meal. He was very happy to be at the table with us and we were ecstatic to have him there. We felt like family again!

The perfect end to a perfect day was Kate’s parting assurance that Warren and I are an inspiration to her and Jay – an example of what a marriage should be for them to follow. I pray that their marriage will be as long as they both shall live and as happy as ours has been. I also dare to pray that they will never know the pain Warren and I feel now that our days together may be numbered. We pray every day that the number is rising!

To my beloved, Warren:

I have loved you for almost as long as I can remember, and I will continue to love you for as long as I live. I know how deeply you love me so you don’t need to say a word. You, my forever love, stood by me during my darkest hours and now I gladly stand by you in yours.

On this July 1, 2009, our 42nd wedding anniversary, I again pledge you my troth in the Presence of God and His witness, Reverend Bob Bough.

I ask God’s blessing on our marriage in the time we have left with each other. Whether that blessed time be mere months or a matter of years, we will, with God’s help and with total devotion to one another, make it the very best it can possibly be.

I love you with all my heart, now and forevermore.
Arnetta Mae


New member
I am moved to tears by this very, very special couple. You both look wonderful and yes, Warren is very handsome. You made a beautiful bride, Arnetta. May God bless you both.


Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Arnetta, you have made a beautiful memory that you will always have--it is what I tried to do for my parents' 53rd wedding anniversary. I still remember that day and how I had hoped to make it as special as I could. I knew my father did not feel well and did not want to spoil the day and he kept how he felt to himself. There was not a dry eye amongst the staff in the hospital.
May G-d bless you both! Happy Anniversary!
Best always, Susan


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Friday, July 3, 2009 6:30 PM, EDT
Arnetta & Warren Journal

Thank you one and all for the anniversary congratulations, good wishes, kind words and sentiments that added to the meaningfulness of our very special day. I saw the Caring Bridge Journal as a way to share the joy of our celebration with our family and friends without putting a strain on Warren so I’m very glad that you enjoyed the journal entry of our July 1, 2009 42nd Wedding Anniversary. We loved having you as our guests!

Special thanks go to my good friend, Helga, who planted the seed of the vow renewal idea for our special anniversary celebration a few days before the event. When Helga first mentioned the idea, I knew that Warren wouldn’t be up to an event outside the home and/or one that would include other guests. I also knew that any inkling of special plans would make Warren apprehensive and put pressure on him to participate in some way. Then I realized that I could plan the ceremony as a semi-surprise. All I told Warren was that Reverend Bough was coming to give us Holy Communion for our Anniversary and Warren was okay with that. He also knew that Justin and Kate planned to bring us an Anniversary dinner and that was fine, too. I’m thrilled that it all worked out so perfectly and so is Warren. It was “just right”!

There is good news today – Warren has not asked for any pain pills! He began to feel better last night after (FINALLY) having a good bowel movement. We have been religious about the daily dose of warm prune juice in lieu of laxatives – a tip from two readers who found that it helped either themselves and/or their loved ones. We are now believers!

Warren is still very tired today. According to the pre-chemo blood test last Tuesday, his hemoglobin had gone down from 10.4 to 9.7. Judging by how fatigued he has been this week, I imagine it has dropped significantly again. We will find out how much next Tuesday, July 7, when Warren has his final chemo in this set of three – the set we both hope will be the final one. As long as the hemoglobin is higher than 7 (which I’m sure it will be), they will do the chemo. They may also recommend another blood transfusion.

On Monday, July 13, Warren will have new CT scans done of the pancreas, lungs and liver. On Thursday July 16, we will see Dr. Doyle and learn what his medical recommendations are for the future. I am praying that the chemo has done its job and we will be done with it.

After playing a game of phone tag since our anniversary, Caryn and I finally caught up with each other yesterday, July 2. She wished her dad and me a Happy Anniversary and then Caryn and I went on to have a long and wonderful conversation about many things.

Caryn had been talking to a friend of hers about trying to adjust to not having family time the way it once was. Caryn’s friend, who recently went through a family cancer experience, finally put a name to the pervading theme in our current lives – “Inventing a New Reality”. That’s exactly what we are doing.

Caryn and I both found that when Warren was first diagnosed we tended to look at it as an either/or situation. Either the Cancer would win and take Warren from us, or Warren would win and the cancer would go away. Then everything would be the way it was before – camping, canoeing, bike rides with the girls, etc., etc., etc………. But as the days unfolded and Warren faced more and more challenges that dragged him further and further down, we began to see that he might never be able to return to us the way he was before. He may not be as strong, or as sharp, or as funny or a million other things he once was.

Day by day, we all strive to invent our new reality. Ultimately, having Warren beat cancer and be able to spend more time with us in any capacity in which he finds himself when all this is over would be the answer to our many prayers. Then we will all invent, learn and perfect ways to deal with that new reality! I’m not ready to deal with a more harsh new reality – at least not yet. As long as there is life and breath, there is hope!


Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Yes, Arnetta that is exactly how it is sometimes. You need to create a new reality and a new normal. My father's body was failing but his mind was very sharp. Cancer or any serious illness can teach you what is really important in life. It also shows you what makes a person who they are--it is not what they can and cannot physically do--it is their kindness, intelligence, warmth, humility, love of life, positiveness, goodness, sense of humor etc. A person is not one's body--we are our minds and our souls. Just know that this time is very precious and cherish the time that you have together. I never wanted to leave my father because I understood that our time on this earth is limited, although I do believe that our souls live on and so does our love. I do believe that one day we will all be reunited with our loved ones. Nothing is more important than what you are doing. Warren is very strong willed and that is important. His determination and love for you is what is making all the difference. I saw it in my father. You are blessed.
May you experience many, many more days filled with peace, love and joy. Happy 4th!
Best always, Susan


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Sunday, July 5, 2009 9:01 PM EDT
Warren & Arnetta Journal

Warren slept the morning away just like yesterday, but this afternoon he was more alert. He did a Sudoku puzzle or two for brain exercise. He managed to get through the whole day without a pill for pain again, too!

I have spent some time this afternoon cleaning and organizing the fourth quadrant of our master bedroom – the closest area to where Warren resides throughout the night. I can’t wait until he sees it when we go upstairs tonight. He has been very happy with everything I’ve done up there so far but this will be the crowning touch! He will probably say something very nice again like, “You’re amazing!” Then I will glow from head to toe!

We just finished watching the end of the Boston Pops fireworks display while Warren had his final tube feeding; now it’s time for me to go up and finish off our bedroom so we can use it tonight - in less than one hour!

Goodnight everyone! Sleep well and God Bless Us Everyone!


Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
Monday, July 6, 2009 8:15 PM, EDT
Warren & Arnetta's Journal
Warren loved the “new” bedroom last night, as I suspected he would. He said he had “dreamed about having it set up just like that.” We’ll be switching places tonight, though, because my side of the bed is closer to the bathroom. We’ve tried sleeping “mixed up” before and it felt weird so neither of us slept very well. However, it is true, as Celeste suggested today, that my side of the bed is a bit closer to the bathroom. Warren agrees that maybe we should try it again. I’m anxious to see if we can overcome 42 years of conditioning!

On the other hand, though, the doctor wants Warren to walk and going to the bathroom at night is about the only walking he has been doing. He uses the chair more than the walker during the day - especially since chemo started up again. I don't want Warren to get what he himself referred to as "lazy" again and start going downhill from here.

Warren is still relatively free from the severe pain he had a few days ago even though the frequent bowel movements have slowed, so I think he is caught up now. I hope he never gets so stopped up again. For Warren, constipation is much more that a small thing. Having any backup of fecal material in the intestines puts more pressure on the cancer site and thus increases the pain from the cancer exponentially. According to our oncologist, Warren should be in a lot of pain from just the cancer itself but any added pressure from gas or fecal buildup can send him over the edge.

Warren was still tired today, but he did well. We managed to do the Rife cancer treatment and the footbath – the two hour double bulb treatment in the morning and the two hour footbath in the afternoon. The waste water was very murky again. I was so glad that he was up to it today – the day before chemo. Hopefully it will be his last chemo!

Personally, I had a very enjoyable day. This afternoon, my good friend, Celeste, helped me clean and organize the biggest one of all my kitchen cupboards. It was fun, as always, to work with Celeste. She did a great job of putting in new shelf liner while I purged the cupboard of two large boxes of unused items. That’s just one cupboard! This may, indeed, end up being the world’s largest garage sale.

I always love the beginning of my day, too. I enjoy keeping in touch with friends while I enjoy my cup of coffee and breakfast bar in the quiet of the morning when I get up at about 6am, a couple hours before Warren. Keeping in touch with friends and writing is what I love to do and it's a quiet activity that doesn't disturb my sleeping patient. As I sit at the computer, I have the nursery monitor nearby so that I hear when Warren is waking up. Then I can take him his Viokase (pancreatic digestive enzymes in a pill) and his Ensure Plus to start his day.

This morning, as often happens thanks to e-mails that spark ideas, I got an early start on this journal entry. One e-mail I received from a good friend was about a “cousin” of Rife Technology – burning saltwater for fuel using radio frequencies. The inventor stumbled upon the phenomena while researching a possible cure for cancer. Rife is also based on radio frequency and I truly believe it is useful. I'm not going to swear that it will cure Warren's cancer, but I know without a doubt that it is not hurting him. All those toxins in the foot bath are "MUCH better out than in!"

This video is nothing short of amazing! I’m mentioning it in the journal so anyone who is interested can check it out and draw his or her own conclusions. If clicking on the underlined link below doesn’t work, you can copy and paste the URL to view it.


I have two possible guesses as to the idea's standing in the medical community; 1) It's still in the experimental stage, or 2) It will meet with the same fate that Rife has to date, i.e. squelched by the "powers that be". Both may be correct guesses.

I also received the e-mail copied and pasted below from Rife this morning. All their advertising and testimonials begin with the "disclaimer" …………….


No medical claims are made or implied for TrueRife devices or frequency sets! They are not intended to diagnosis, cure, prevent, treat or mitigate any medical condition or disease. Please consult a qualified physician for any medical conditions! The experience research study below is anectdotal and, the results have NOT been validated by any official government agency. The device used does not have FDA approval.
I want to relay this experience. My grandaughter is six, came down with a very very bad virus, vomiting and diarrhea. Took her to the doctors because the next night was her dance recital that she was so wanting to do. The doctor told my daughter that there was no way she would make it because she was so so sick. That was Monday. That afternoon after the doctors I called you and you suggested the Norwalk virus on the Truerife. In about 2 hours after the session her color came back in her face - she had been literally grey - and then she ate something. By the next morning she was 80 percent better. By early evening she was at her dance recital dancing. We were amazed! We are planning to take the video of her dancing to the doctors because there is no way he would believe us. Thank you!

My daughter who suffers from Sinus infections was coming down with a bad one. I did the Sinusitus acute program on her and a few hours after the session she was blowing her nose a lot and blood and mucous was coming out. The next day she was 100 percent better! Thanks again!
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