Would you allow someone to Boss you around in the Kicthen?

[Shermie]

A friend of mine went with me to Georgia for the week of Thanksgiving.

While there, about 2 days out from Thanksgiving Day, my grand nephew - the one who likes to cook & bake, decided that he wanted to cook supper for everyone.

So we go to the store to get the stuff for supper for those two days, and when we began working in the kitchen to get the food prepared, on the stove and into the oven, my friend has the nerve to start bossing us around, telling us how HE wants the meals cooked!!!

That evening, we made Shepard's Pie. My grand nephew had gotten some of the spices from the cupboard over the stove. He took out a small jar of dill. He asked should he put some of it into that hamburger mixture that was cooking on the stove. Right away, the friend had said; "Don't put any of that in there." I asked why not?. His reply was; "I don't want any of that in there."!!!

I blasted him out, mainly because I remembered when my grand nephew was up here and visited his house, he did that same crap!! I raised my voice and said; "Don't you start this crap with us again!!"

The very next day, same thing!! He said; "I paid for the food, it's going to be cooked MY way!" We were making spaghetti with sausages , chicken parm and garlic bread that evening. At this point, my blood was boiling!! My grand nephew & I, at this point, boldly put everything down and walked out of the kitchen!!! Told him that we're not putting up with him bossing us around on how to cook something, especially when I KNOW how to cook, and that if he wants it done HIS way, then he can cook it himself!!!

But he didn't want to do it! I told him that when WE'RE cooking, and if I don't ask for his opinion, to be quiet!!! I was allowing my grand nephew to cook the 2 meals HIS way, since he was the main one cooking and because he wanted MY assistance!! I let HIM run the show, not only because he likes to cook, but because I was so delighted to see him in the kitchen, doing what he likes to do best. Cooking is DEFINITELY his hobby at home!! I figured that since HE was cooking, let him do the things HIS way!!

And this friend wants me to move in with him and become his roommate?!!! Not a snowball's chance in hell will I do that!!!

Who was right in this instance? I feel that if I cook something, or if my dear grand nephew is cooking, unless we ask for an opinion, that WE should be allowed to do things OUR way!!

As for my friend, I don't boss HIM around whiles HE'S cooking. I've stopped cooking at his house because I just flatly refused to be bossed around by him while I cook!!!

 

[JoeV]

Sounds like the TV was broken, and your friend had nothing to do but stick his nose in the kitchen to give advice. Next trip make sure he has a nice beverage, comfy chair and working TV to keep him out of the kitchen. I'll bet he didn't volunteer to do dishes either, right?

Oh! Don't even THINK about moving in with him. Sounds like a control freak. JMHO

 

[Shermie]

Re: Would you allow someone to Boss you around in the Kitchen?

Sounds like the TV was broken, and your friend had nothing to do but stick his nose in the kitchen to give advice. Next trip make sure he has a nice beverage, comfy chair and working TV to keep him out of the kitchen. I'll bet he didn't volunteer to do dishes either, right?

Oh! Don't even THINK about moving in with him. Sounds like a control freak. JMHO

You're so right!! He didn't even budge when it came to cleaning up after the meals! The only thing that he did was get a glass of water to drink.

My response to him was, and in a loud DEMANDING voice; "HE'S COOKING, LET HIM DO IT THE WAY THAT HE WANTS TO DO IT!!!!!!!!" mama always told us "that when someone else is cooking, you let them do it THEIR way."!!

I was totally fed up with & sick to death of this crap!! As I said above, we went through this crap with him during the first part of the summer! I was NOT putting up with that again!

The nerve, the outlandish and desecrated GALL that he has to do that in someone else's home & kitchen!!! I told him; "LET'S SEE IF YOU'LL BOSS MY NEPHEW'S WIFE AND HER SISTER AROUND WHILE THEY'RE DOING THANKSGIVING DINNER!!" Not one bossing thing came from him while they were cooking!! That's what I THOUGHT!!! They'd put him in his place immediately, quick, fast & in a hurry, just like I did!!!

My grand nephew got scared, because he's seen us fighting before in the summer! I assured him that it wasn't his fault, and that I was letting him cook the way that HE wants to do it!!

He's my pride & joy!! I spoil him a lot, mainly because he reminds me of his dear late grandfather (one of my brothers) when HE was his age!! Outside of his parents, I won't let anyone put him down or ridicule him and make him feel scared - NOT IN MY PRESENCE!! And at times, I even try to persuade his parents to go easy on him when they scold him!

I love this kid and his siblings so much! He got a got of gifts yesterday - his 11th birthday, that pertain to cooking, since he has developed a passion for food, cooking & eating! My heart goes out to him for wanting to follow in MY footsteps! I used to cook for a living. He wants to do the same thing! He also wants to own his own restaurant!

I've ordered and sent him a few gifts that pertain to cooking! And for my friend to do what he did was just disrespectful, distasteful & downright mean & nasty!!


And yes, the TV WAS broken! Not physically though. it just needed to be reset. And who was the one who taught him how to do it? My grand nephew - the one who likes to cook, the one whom along with myself, he was trying to boss around on cooking!!

Like you said, he's a bonnafied control freak, AND I'm NOT moving in with him!! I cooked a simple but nice dinner at home on Sunday. If I was doing it at HIS house, he would start bossing me around!! The reason that I've stopped cooking at his house!! So sad!!

 

[luvs]

i, myself, said that industrial cooking is not how they make being a Chef look on television. yep, i'll be bossed about-- if i'm under a higher-ranking Chef, or if they own their kitchen. other than that, i work my section; if that hits a lull, i head on over to a fellow employee's area & see where i can lend my time.
that was not meant to be deflating tho; was meant to give yinz a glimpse into how harsh stuff can get-- knowing reality before entering into a situation is often way better than to naively enter into one, was kinda my point, there. that aside- )

i can see how protective u get over that kiddo. if someone picked on my Raynin, or one of those 'lil guys, i too, would have gotten ticked w/them. he doesn't deserve your company, if he is being rude while you're cooking for him & yinz others w/ food that you bought. you offered company & a decent meal.
as for your nephew- he chooses to cook! not get into trouble, or those sorts of things. he seems as tho he is 1 kiddo w/ his mind where his mind ought be-- not on stuff he should not be into, & rather, hanging w/ his Uncle Shermie to cook.
i get that- my nephew is set on being a Chef. he is in 7th grade -thus, i let him cook stuff suited to a 7th-grader. have tweaked a side dish fer most major holidays, so that he could participate in making simplistic, yet beloved food amongst my loved ones. our 1st dish- crabmeat-stuffed mushrooms- i think two made their way to that dining room table, hehe- family kept dippin' into them well before dinnertime. he makes food rather well, w/ minimal input (he gets my input when i see blatant confusion in his expression, or if he requests my input.) when he is doin' well by himself/ i find another kitchen chore to busy myself & yet be nearby in case he needs info.

soon, i'll graduate him to a new level, & begin to show him slightly further complex stuff he'll hafta learn, if he chooses to be a Chef. they begin home-ec (male & female, alike) where he attends schooling @ his middle school, so he may see via that if he would wanna pursue a career. i have thought of arranging fer one of these local Chefs i know to allow him a glimpse, if not via an open kitchen window where they could get us a table near-to an industrial kitchen when they're having a fast-paced dinner service. let 'em see, fer real, how that can get very loud, & how many tickets (guests' orders) pour in so fast that it overwhelms u at times & Chefs yell, & we get flushed & bitchy & cranky, -see jus' how being a Chef can get. oh, how ppl yell & how ppl bicker. & it's not a television show. if he would pursure beyond then, i would be so proud of him. i may set aside a 'lil college beginner's fund, too. if my nephew decides he is into that kinda atmosphere~

 

[Doc]

You were 100% right Shermie. That guy is a jerk / control freak (as was already said).

Him as a roommate would be a recipe for disaster.

 

[Adillo303]

The chef (cook) is in charge of the kitchen, that's it!!!!!

If he doesn't like it (unless he is informing of dietary problems) you are correct, he can cook it.

 

[Shermie]

Thanks all, for your help!

I thought that I was right in justifying my case!! Yes Luvs, I AM very protective of him!! If or when he's being scolded by his parents, even THEN, I asked them to be a little lenient with him.

I told my grand nephew that when he's cooking, that NO ONE ELSE, OTHER THAN HIS PARENTS have the right to tell him what to do and/or how to do it!!!

Even I don't boss him around! But if or when I noticed him making a mistake, I kindly let him know. Like when we were making the Shepard's Pie, he was trying to mash the potatoes raw. I said to him that the potatoes have to be cooked first before they can be mashed.

He didn't know. He's still learning, and there will be some times when he might make a mistake. That IS acceptable! I've ordered and sent him a pair of cut-resistant gloves so that he can begin learning his knife skills. His parents are too afraid to let him use a knife for fear that he might cut himself on the hand or something.

I noticed that when he was putting the dishes into the dishwasher, that he was putting the knives in the silverware basket with the handles down and the blades up. I kindly explained to him that the knives should be put in with the handles up and the blades down, and wanted to see if he knew why. "To keep from sticking myself.", he said. I said; "You're right!". Told his brother the same thing.

Words themselves just can't explain why I love and care for them all! I babysat HIS dad & brother when THEY were little!! Though they weren't interested in cooking back, then, this is my first and probably my ONLY chance to help my dear grand nephew learn "the tools of the trade", as they say in the culinary field!

My friend knows very little about cooking, yet he as the gall to boss us around!!! Yes, if he were my chef & trainer at a job, yes, I'd go along with what he says, but he's not, so I won't put up with that bullcrap!!

Doc, I agree with you 100%!! Having HIM as a roommate would only & certainly kick off World War 3!!! Which is why I won't do it!! The crap would hit the fan in a heartbeat!!!

 

[Shermie]

One other thing;

Several weeks ago, I thought that the home computer was acting up, so I had him come over to look at it.

As an appreciation of the work he did, I offered to cook him breakfast that day. Not one bossy word did I get from him while I was cooking!!!

Guess that he thought not to do that in MY home!! I wouldn't allow it!! I'm NOT PUTTING UP WITH IT!!!

When my grand nephew & his brother stayed with me, the younger one who cooks at home, wanted to cook here, so I let him. He normally uses sauce in the jar for spaghetti. I offered to make it from scratch for him because I wanted his opinion on it. He likes it!!

He made the meatballs the way that he wanted to do them. I had no problem with it! He said; "You'll let me cook things my way in your kitchen?" I said; Of course!! I'll give you the control over how you want to cook here." He said; "Uncle Shermie, I like that!!" He almost made me start to cry! I love him & his brother like the kids I never had!!!

 

[Shermie]

Well, we are planning to go back to Georgia to stay with my nephew, his wife & kids for the week of Thanksgiving.

And wouldn't you know it?! My friend had immediately said the other day!; "If your grand nephew is going to cook meals the way that he wants to, them I'm not going to let him do it his way."!!

I said back to him very bluntly; "If you're going to start that crap all over again when we get there, then you can just stay home & I'll go there alone. I mean it, I am not putting up with that again, so if you don't like the way that he cooks, then don't even think about going there with me, or just eat out while there!!"

Proof that he hasn't learnt a thing from the last time!! And yes Doc, I'm moving soon, but not into HIS house. Proof that if I cook there, then the same crap will start up all over again!! So I'm moving into another apartment, mainly because the landlord has sold the building that we're in.

That roommate crap just doesn't work!! Tried it before with someone else, and things just fell apart because we just couldn't get along!! And if my grand nephews come up next summer, they'll have more room and the one who likes to cook will be using a brand new stove!! He wants to come back!!

 

[ChowderMan]

it's Mother's Day. I'm quite well bossed about in the kitchen. and she deserves / has earned the rights to same.

 

[Shermie]

it's Mother's Day. I'm quite well bossed about in the kitchen. and she deserves / has earned the rights to same.

Yup, give mom a break for Mothers' Day!

My 11-year-old grand nephew is doing the same thing! He's manning the kitchen today, cooking all 3 meals today for his family!! Bless his heart!!

 

[Ian M.]

You're wise to make your stand on things early on like you've done, Shermie! Someone once told me, "never borrow money from or share a home with a friend until you've decided which one you need the most!" I've always heeded that advice...........the only people I share with nowdays are Fallon and my kids - and that's more than sufficient. But, no matter what, don't let that pushy friend dictate to your nephew - that boy needs all the encouragement he can get. Especially since he so loves cooking and emulates you as best he can. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!! And it sounds as if that boy's by no means "broke" when it comes to cooking. Or admiring you, for that matter.

Ian

 

[Leni]

I'm beginning to think that you don't need his kind of friendship.

 

[Shermie]

You're wise to make your stand on things early on like you've done, Shermie! Someone once told me, "never borrow money from or share a home with a friend until you've decided which one you need the most!" I've always heeded that advice...........the only people I share with nowdays are Fallon and my kids - and that's more than sufficient. But, no matter what, don't let that pushy friend dictate to your nephew - that boy needs all the encouragement he can get. Especially since he so loves cooking and emulates you as best he can. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!! And it sounds as if that boy's by no means "broke" when it comes to cooking. Or admiring you, for that matter.

Ian

Thanks!

Yeah, I love him & his siblings very much. But they all know that I spoil the 11-year-old, and I NOT ashamed to say that I do! I also WILL NOT put up with my friend bossing him or me around with the cooking.

As I mentioned earlier, he got away with it last summer, and I should've put my foot down then! But the GALL that he has to do that at MY NEPHEW'S house & kitchen!!! The buck stops here!! If he does not like the way that myself & my grand nephew cook, then he can do one of 2 things; Don't go there or if he does, go eat out!!

He showed his true colors in time enough for me to think and reflect back on his behavior and how he acted last year & this year. My decision not to move in with him and be roommates with him also stems from the way that he treated my brother and his wife. He was trying to boss THEM around in the kitchen as well! Not directly, but by leaving notes about how they thaw out meat to be cooked.

I boldly told him to leave them alone!! He's not eating any of the food that they cook, so what is it to him? Concern that he thinks that it's not safe, but I'm quite sure that they know what they are doing. He should not be butting in where he's not supposed to be!!

He just flatly refuses to realize that he's constantly making a pest of himself, and that right or wrong, people are truly entitled to there own thoughts views & opinions!!