Adillo303
*****
Re: Member Spotlights
It is my pleasure to present out next member spotlight - Our own Ms. VeraBlue.
Tell us a little about yourself - your family or household, kids, pets, occupation, etc.
I'm 47 and after working my way through the system as an executive chef, I'm now the director of dining services on a college campus. How I got there, though...that's the story. I wanted to go to cooking school since I was in 6th grade, when I had my first Home Ec class. I mentioned this to my parents when I graduating from grammar school. I asked to go to a nearby technical high school that had a cooking program. They refused, suggesting that was 'no place for a girl'. I wasn't very strong back then and acquiesced. I continued through high school, growing up in an extremely strict Italian home and rebelled against all authority every chance I got.
I met a wonderful young man, Ivan, when I was 17. He was 19. It was 1979. Strangely, my parents liked him too. I cooked at home all the time, but the talks of cooking school were long gone. I went to college at home, no dorm for me (like that would ever be permitted...I floated the Tulane balloon once, and it was immediately shot down) and studied to become an English teacher. Ivan transferred from the U of D to take classes at home, as well. He graduated, I dropped out to get a job and make some serious money (not that there was much of that for a 19 year old girl in 1981). We got married in 1983. I was 21, he was 23. We had Mark in 1985 and Coco in 1988. I stayed home with the kids for 4 years..until Ivan and I found ourselves deeply in debt. So, we had to suck it up and ask my parents if we could move into the house
We moved in for a couple of years to get back on our feet. They had plenty of room and were happy to help. It was quite possibly the darkest years of my life. Marianne and Jim are not bad people, they just don't understand (at least, they didn't at the time, they have finally matured) that other people can live other types of lives and be perfectly happy, perfectly fine, perfectly correct. My mother was very controlling, my father seemed to resent the intrusion. And Ivan and I...well, we had our own ideas about everything from raising the kids to how we spoke around them to what we wore...
I had taken a job at a local mall and quickly became the assistant manager. One final blow up between my parents and Ivan and I was the impetus that forced us to find another apartment and get ourselves out of debt no matter what it took. We were finally able to breathe again. We lived in a nice apartment for a few years. Around the time I was 28 or so I started go-go dancing for private parties, mostly bachelor parties. The money was excellent and Ivan always came as the bouncer. He and I were already involved in the adult fetish scene in NYC. Last party I did was for a bunch of desert storm guys who just got home. It was getting a bit out of hand and Ivan gave me the nod it was time to go..and I ran out of there wearing nothing but a pair of thigh high boots and a blazer. Clearly it was time to move on.
I answered an ad for a food service worker. I had no idea what a food service worker was; only that no experience was required and the location wasn't too bad. I interviewed with the executive chef, she liked the idea that I had done some private catering (not a lie) for non-family parties. She hired me to make tuna, chicken and egg salad, prep the salad bar, and serve sandwiches at the deli during the lunch rush. The account was in the brand new kitchen of the corporate offices of UPS. I was in heaven. She let me make a soup one time when a chef was out sick. From there she let me make sauces. Eventually she hired someone else to make the tuna and gave me a sous chef position. I worked shoulder to shoulder with her and she taught me everything she knew in about 6 months. I was like a sponge. We worked together for almost 3 years. I cooked all day at work, cooked at night for our kids, cooked on weekends for friends. I took a position as a chef manager of a small account and learned how to manage a staff.
All this time, however...Ivan and I were meeting more and more of the demi monde in NYC. I was doing performance art at fetish parties and sticking my toe in the water of professional BDSM. I was in my early 30s. Ivan and I enjoyed an open marriage. Summer arrived and my small account was going to close. During my summer as a guest of the state (unemployment $$), I began working as a professional dominatrix. It was a small place in NJ and business wasn't all that good. However, I was becoming a huge success in the clubs, at the parties and events in NYC. A house (of domination) asked me to work there and I took the job. During that time I did radio interviews, television shows, newspaper and magazine articles. I left the food business to explore this avenue of my life. I was so deeply involved that, with the exception of my children, months would go by that I would not hear my real name. The adult industry is hard to describe to people who have never partook of that particular fruit. There are empty shells of people and there are fabulously brilliant people putting themselves through school. There are damaged people and wholly put together people. I believe I was a bit of all of that. I was learning to find my own voice, finally. I learned to trust my gut. I learned to insist on what I wanted. Nice thing was, when you have a guy tied at your feet, and he's paying you to do it, you kind of always get what you want. Ivan was right there with me, exploring his own version of BDSM. When we went out at night, I was immediately enveloped by an entourage of lesser known mistresses and wannabe servants. He had his own circle of groupies and friends. We were both pretty estranged from our families at this point. I was extremely successful and branched out to produce events of my own. Every Wednesday night I had a party at a club in the city, and every Wednesday night the place was packed. I eventually left the house I was working at in NYC and transformed my basement into a private studio (dungeon) and saw clients there. All was going swimmingly until 9/11 and the disposable income dried up just as the fear of financial ruin got hold of just about every client. Business sucked and no one was much in the mood for a party.
I officially retired in 2001 and returned to the food industry that I always loved. Having a huge hole in my resume was a problem. I took a job as a cook at a small private day school. I was miserable...no more adulation, no more bonbons in bed, no more wallet full of cash. Ivan and I still frequented the events but once you are out of the business, and have to work normal hours, it's hard to stay out till 4am. We took a small hit, socially. He met a woman (married to a very nice gay man, with a young son) while we were at the height of our rule. I had met Lou during this time, as well. I also became the chef manager (again) of this small place I was working. From there I took several other assignments until I earned the title of executive chef. Ivan and I were growing apart. I needed different things, he needed different things. The man I grew up with, the man who helped me finally discover the woman I was ...sadly, he was not the man I needed any longer. He was going through the same thing. He needed a different kind of woman. He found her. Strangely enough, her marriage to the gay man was not all she'd hoped it would be either. And Lou and I were trying to deny what we were feeling for each other, not wanting to get hurt. So, Ivan and I separated. His relationship with her became official. Lou and I stopped fighting what we had, and became official, as well. And, before anyone asks, our kids, Mark and Coco...they've been on every part of this journey as appropriately as their ages would permit. They knew Ivan and I enjoyed a different sort of life. They knew of my celebrity. My relationship with Marianne and Jim has finally become comfortable and all is well, there. She and Ivan are still together. She's separated from her gay husband and he's moved in with his boyfriend. My divorce is just a bit over a year old. Lou and I..well, you all know about that. I know just how lucky I am to have the love of two magnificent men.
My son just got engaged to a nice young lady. My daughter is fast tracking herself in the fashion world in NYC. A black and white cat used to hang around my back door and waltzed right into my heart about a year ago. Her name is Max-i-cat and sleeps by my head every night. My other name, the demi monde name...is still quite popular. I am finally able to be a strong as that woman was without having to sell parts of my own spirit to achieve it. She and I are one person and I couldn't be happier with the results. I wouldn't have missed one step of that journey.
What part of the world do you live in?
I live in northern NJ, about 10 minutes from NYC
How did you find the NCT community?
I followed the bread crumb trail ...
Do you have any hobbies besides cooking?
Not so much hobbies as things I like to do - travel, wine, jazz, gardening, collecting strange things to hang from my ceilings, swimming in the ocean.
How and why did you choose your Username? What does it mean?
It's from a song by ChemLab, called VeraBlue...about a woman that cannot be resisted yet all know she's just bad news ...'you know it's wrong but it feels so #@%#^& right'...
Give us 5 words that describe you.
Aggressive, fair, witty, generous, empathetic
Tell us one thing about yourself that people would be surprised to know.
I'm thrilled by the sounds of train whistles or boat bells, especially if I am lucky enough to hear them in the dead of night.
How and at what age did you start cooking?
It would have to be about the same time I stopped putting my dinner dish on my head while I sat in the high chair. I don't remember a time I wasn't cooking.
Do you have a signature dish or one that you make especially well?
If I stopped making meatballs and Sunday gravy my family would eventually starve.
What is your favorite spice?
cinnamon
What is your favorite restaurant meal?
I tend to stick with whatever the special is - usually it's the chef that is preparing it, or they got a great deal on fantastic.
What would your last meal be if you could choose anything at all?
Hard to say. I like so many things. I can say this.. that meal would have at least 12 courses and there would be appropriately paired wine with each course. I might want to end that meal with a slice of warm blueberry pie with cinnamon ice cream.
If you could host a dinner party with 6 well-known guests, living or dead, who would they be and what would you serve?
Helen Keller, she's been an inspirational part of my life since I could read. Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King, visionaries who, had they not been assassinated would have led this country down a much better path than those who followed them. John Adams, a quiet man who loved this nation passionately. Shakespeare, a man who knew good material. Beethoven, wonderful wonderful Ludwig Von. Don't know what the meal would be, but it would be at least 12 courses, each with appropriately paired wines and probably end with slices of warm blueberry pie and cinnamon ice cream.
If you were going to be stranded on an isolated island for a year, what 6 foods would you want to have to readily available?
I hate this question.
Who would you most like to prepare a meal for and why. What would you serve?
My grandparents. I lost my grandfathers when I was less than 10, a grandmother at 17 and another at 28. I'd make simple rustic italian food and serve it with homemade wine. I miss them all.
Who would you most like to have prepare a meal for you?
Whoever cooked for Henry VIII
100 years from now, how would you like to be remembered?
I came to live out loud __________________
===========
These are the pictures.
Vera in New Orleans
Vera and Lou in New Orleans
Mark and Sarah
Mark and Coco
Coco and a friend of hers
Marianne & Jim
Max-I-Cat
Ms Vera Blue.
===========
It is my pleasure to present out next member spotlight - Our own Ms. VeraBlue.
Tell us a little about yourself - your family or household, kids, pets, occupation, etc.
I'm 47 and after working my way through the system as an executive chef, I'm now the director of dining services on a college campus. How I got there, though...that's the story. I wanted to go to cooking school since I was in 6th grade, when I had my first Home Ec class. I mentioned this to my parents when I graduating from grammar school. I asked to go to a nearby technical high school that had a cooking program. They refused, suggesting that was 'no place for a girl'. I wasn't very strong back then and acquiesced. I continued through high school, growing up in an extremely strict Italian home and rebelled against all authority every chance I got.
I met a wonderful young man, Ivan, when I was 17. He was 19. It was 1979. Strangely, my parents liked him too. I cooked at home all the time, but the talks of cooking school were long gone. I went to college at home, no dorm for me (like that would ever be permitted...I floated the Tulane balloon once, and it was immediately shot down) and studied to become an English teacher. Ivan transferred from the U of D to take classes at home, as well. He graduated, I dropped out to get a job and make some serious money (not that there was much of that for a 19 year old girl in 1981). We got married in 1983. I was 21, he was 23. We had Mark in 1985 and Coco in 1988. I stayed home with the kids for 4 years..until Ivan and I found ourselves deeply in debt. So, we had to suck it up and ask my parents if we could move into the house
We moved in for a couple of years to get back on our feet. They had plenty of room and were happy to help. It was quite possibly the darkest years of my life. Marianne and Jim are not bad people, they just don't understand (at least, they didn't at the time, they have finally matured) that other people can live other types of lives and be perfectly happy, perfectly fine, perfectly correct. My mother was very controlling, my father seemed to resent the intrusion. And Ivan and I...well, we had our own ideas about everything from raising the kids to how we spoke around them to what we wore...
I had taken a job at a local mall and quickly became the assistant manager. One final blow up between my parents and Ivan and I was the impetus that forced us to find another apartment and get ourselves out of debt no matter what it took. We were finally able to breathe again. We lived in a nice apartment for a few years. Around the time I was 28 or so I started go-go dancing for private parties, mostly bachelor parties. The money was excellent and Ivan always came as the bouncer. He and I were already involved in the adult fetish scene in NYC. Last party I did was for a bunch of desert storm guys who just got home. It was getting a bit out of hand and Ivan gave me the nod it was time to go..and I ran out of there wearing nothing but a pair of thigh high boots and a blazer. Clearly it was time to move on.
I answered an ad for a food service worker. I had no idea what a food service worker was; only that no experience was required and the location wasn't too bad. I interviewed with the executive chef, she liked the idea that I had done some private catering (not a lie) for non-family parties. She hired me to make tuna, chicken and egg salad, prep the salad bar, and serve sandwiches at the deli during the lunch rush. The account was in the brand new kitchen of the corporate offices of UPS. I was in heaven. She let me make a soup one time when a chef was out sick. From there she let me make sauces. Eventually she hired someone else to make the tuna and gave me a sous chef position. I worked shoulder to shoulder with her and she taught me everything she knew in about 6 months. I was like a sponge. We worked together for almost 3 years. I cooked all day at work, cooked at night for our kids, cooked on weekends for friends. I took a position as a chef manager of a small account and learned how to manage a staff.
All this time, however...Ivan and I were meeting more and more of the demi monde in NYC. I was doing performance art at fetish parties and sticking my toe in the water of professional BDSM. I was in my early 30s. Ivan and I enjoyed an open marriage. Summer arrived and my small account was going to close. During my summer as a guest of the state (unemployment $$), I began working as a professional dominatrix. It was a small place in NJ and business wasn't all that good. However, I was becoming a huge success in the clubs, at the parties and events in NYC. A house (of domination) asked me to work there and I took the job. During that time I did radio interviews, television shows, newspaper and magazine articles. I left the food business to explore this avenue of my life. I was so deeply involved that, with the exception of my children, months would go by that I would not hear my real name. The adult industry is hard to describe to people who have never partook of that particular fruit. There are empty shells of people and there are fabulously brilliant people putting themselves through school. There are damaged people and wholly put together people. I believe I was a bit of all of that. I was learning to find my own voice, finally. I learned to trust my gut. I learned to insist on what I wanted. Nice thing was, when you have a guy tied at your feet, and he's paying you to do it, you kind of always get what you want. Ivan was right there with me, exploring his own version of BDSM. When we went out at night, I was immediately enveloped by an entourage of lesser known mistresses and wannabe servants. He had his own circle of groupies and friends. We were both pretty estranged from our families at this point. I was extremely successful and branched out to produce events of my own. Every Wednesday night I had a party at a club in the city, and every Wednesday night the place was packed. I eventually left the house I was working at in NYC and transformed my basement into a private studio (dungeon) and saw clients there. All was going swimmingly until 9/11 and the disposable income dried up just as the fear of financial ruin got hold of just about every client. Business sucked and no one was much in the mood for a party.
I officially retired in 2001 and returned to the food industry that I always loved. Having a huge hole in my resume was a problem. I took a job as a cook at a small private day school. I was miserable...no more adulation, no more bonbons in bed, no more wallet full of cash. Ivan and I still frequented the events but once you are out of the business, and have to work normal hours, it's hard to stay out till 4am. We took a small hit, socially. He met a woman (married to a very nice gay man, with a young son) while we were at the height of our rule. I had met Lou during this time, as well. I also became the chef manager (again) of this small place I was working. From there I took several other assignments until I earned the title of executive chef. Ivan and I were growing apart. I needed different things, he needed different things. The man I grew up with, the man who helped me finally discover the woman I was ...sadly, he was not the man I needed any longer. He was going through the same thing. He needed a different kind of woman. He found her. Strangely enough, her marriage to the gay man was not all she'd hoped it would be either. And Lou and I were trying to deny what we were feeling for each other, not wanting to get hurt. So, Ivan and I separated. His relationship with her became official. Lou and I stopped fighting what we had, and became official, as well. And, before anyone asks, our kids, Mark and Coco...they've been on every part of this journey as appropriately as their ages would permit. They knew Ivan and I enjoyed a different sort of life. They knew of my celebrity. My relationship with Marianne and Jim has finally become comfortable and all is well, there. She and Ivan are still together. She's separated from her gay husband and he's moved in with his boyfriend. My divorce is just a bit over a year old. Lou and I..well, you all know about that. I know just how lucky I am to have the love of two magnificent men.
My son just got engaged to a nice young lady. My daughter is fast tracking herself in the fashion world in NYC. A black and white cat used to hang around my back door and waltzed right into my heart about a year ago. Her name is Max-i-cat and sleeps by my head every night. My other name, the demi monde name...is still quite popular. I am finally able to be a strong as that woman was without having to sell parts of my own spirit to achieve it. She and I are one person and I couldn't be happier with the results. I wouldn't have missed one step of that journey.
What part of the world do you live in?
I live in northern NJ, about 10 minutes from NYC
How did you find the NCT community?
I followed the bread crumb trail ...
Do you have any hobbies besides cooking?
Not so much hobbies as things I like to do - travel, wine, jazz, gardening, collecting strange things to hang from my ceilings, swimming in the ocean.
How and why did you choose your Username? What does it mean?
It's from a song by ChemLab, called VeraBlue...about a woman that cannot be resisted yet all know she's just bad news ...'you know it's wrong but it feels so #@%#^& right'...
Give us 5 words that describe you.
Aggressive, fair, witty, generous, empathetic
Tell us one thing about yourself that people would be surprised to know.
I'm thrilled by the sounds of train whistles or boat bells, especially if I am lucky enough to hear them in the dead of night.
How and at what age did you start cooking?
It would have to be about the same time I stopped putting my dinner dish on my head while I sat in the high chair. I don't remember a time I wasn't cooking.
Do you have a signature dish or one that you make especially well?
If I stopped making meatballs and Sunday gravy my family would eventually starve.
What is your favorite spice?
cinnamon
What is your favorite restaurant meal?
I tend to stick with whatever the special is - usually it's the chef that is preparing it, or they got a great deal on fantastic.
What would your last meal be if you could choose anything at all?
Hard to say. I like so many things. I can say this.. that meal would have at least 12 courses and there would be appropriately paired wine with each course. I might want to end that meal with a slice of warm blueberry pie with cinnamon ice cream.
If you could host a dinner party with 6 well-known guests, living or dead, who would they be and what would you serve?
Helen Keller, she's been an inspirational part of my life since I could read. Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King, visionaries who, had they not been assassinated would have led this country down a much better path than those who followed them. John Adams, a quiet man who loved this nation passionately. Shakespeare, a man who knew good material. Beethoven, wonderful wonderful Ludwig Von. Don't know what the meal would be, but it would be at least 12 courses, each with appropriately paired wines and probably end with slices of warm blueberry pie and cinnamon ice cream.
If you were going to be stranded on an isolated island for a year, what 6 foods would you want to have to readily available?
I hate this question.
Who would you most like to prepare a meal for and why. What would you serve?
My grandparents. I lost my grandfathers when I was less than 10, a grandmother at 17 and another at 28. I'd make simple rustic italian food and serve it with homemade wine. I miss them all.
Who would you most like to have prepare a meal for you?
Whoever cooked for Henry VIII
100 years from now, how would you like to be remembered?
I came to live out loud __________________
===========
These are the pictures.
Vera in New Orleans
Vera and Lou in New Orleans
Mark and Sarah
Mark and Coco
Coco and a friend of hers
Marianne & Jim
Max-I-Cat
Ms Vera Blue.
===========
Cool interview.
I was so blown away by Madame Blue's life story that I forgot to thank you, Andy, for persuading her to share it with us. Good job! 
Thanks for sharing, and thanks to the mods for this great feature.
. I enjoyed it and admire you for your openness. Thanks for sharing.
