Lefty
Yank
Murphy's love laws
- All the good ones are taken.
- If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
- The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
- Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
This constant is always zero.
- The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
- Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
- The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
- Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
- Nice guys (girls) finish last.
- The good ones die first.
- If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
- Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
- The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
- Nothing improves with age.
- No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
- Sex has no calories.
- Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
- There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
- Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
- Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
- If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
- Virginity can be cured.
- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
- The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
- Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
- When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
- Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
- Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
- The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
- It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
- Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
- Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
- There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
- Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
- Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
- Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
- One good turn gets most of the blankets.
- Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Anonymous comment:
The person who said that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...NEVER loved and lost! - Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
- Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
- A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
- What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
- It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
- Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
- Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
- A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
- Love comes in spurts.
- Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
- There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
- Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
- When a man wants his wife to hear, she doesn't listen.
When that same man doesn't want his wife to hear, she's all ears. - It's always easier to get a partner if you already have one.
- If a man speaks deep in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him; is he still wrong?
- Show me a husband who won't, I'll show you a neighbor who will
- The man shalt not win the argument he started
- The man shalt not win the argument he didn't start
- If a man won an argument, it was just in his head
