Cancer Cachexia

PieSusan

Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
These are the words that struck me most and rang true when I lost my dad as I had no idea how to do his jobs and fill his shoes but I have managed. I still miss my dad and it is not always easy dealing with my mom on my own but...well, you said it here:
So far in fact, in a lot of ways, going on without Warren is as hard or harder than caring for him was, but I will be okay.
 

PieSusan

Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
I tried to edit and add the following but I am exhausted so I am going to add them here:

Hugs to you, Arnettamae!
 

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter

SATURDAY, AUGUST 29, 2009 6:46 PM, EDT


Arnetta Journal

I spent some time last night and today rereading (and in many cases reading for the first time) the cards and letters that have arrived since Warren’s passing. I found all the best wishes and expressions of sympathy very comforting.

There were some greetings with personal notes of reminiscence and others with long verses that brought tears of bittersweet joy to my eyes – bitter because I know that nothing will bring Warren’s physical being back, and sweet because the messages validate my feelings that he really never left. I’d like to share with all of you one of the verses that so beautifully describes the way I feel .....

His Journey’s Just Begun

Don’t think of him as gone away –
His journey’s just begun,
Life holds so many facets –
This earth is only one.

Just think of him as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days and years.

Think how he must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away.

And think of him as living
In the hearts of those he touched…
For nothing loved is ever lost –
And he was loved so much.
By E. Brenneman
And the following handwritten note from a good friend reminded me of Caryn telling me that she says, “Hi Daddy”, when the breeze rustles the leaves in the trees. I have been having the same kinds of thoughts – Warren loved nature so very much……………..

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand by my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Author not given.

On a different note, the following very comforting letter came from a long time friend and client…………….

Dear Arnetta,

Please let me add my condolences to the many others you have received on the passing of your beloved Warren. No one who has followed your nightly epistles can doubt the loving care by which you sought to cure Warren.

Warren is a very lucky man. I say “is” because he will live on in his friends’ memories. Do not ever doubt that he will be waiting for you. Your love for each other came through to your friends and clients in a way that words cannot express. Think of your eternity together sailing in a ten-knot following breeze! May this thought help to console you in this hour of need.

I must say it certainly has. It also makes me happy that the deep and abiding love shared by Warren and me was so evident to so many of you for I have heard that said again and again.

Warren was worthy of the deepest love and respect humanly possible. It makes him and me proud and happy that he received it from not only me, but, quite obviously, from many others as well.

In closing this entry, I want to mention that I owe the strength that so many of you have noted in me, first to God. Then I must give all of you a lot of the credit, too. You have really been there for Warren and for me. We appreciated each and every one of you very much.

Thank you to all of you for your visits to this site, your e-mails, notes, cards and acts of kindness. Every number in that 26,200+ visits to Caring Bridge represents someone who cared. That’s phenomenal. There were also many more friends who visited the journal through Net Cooking Talk because my high school friend, Dan Diamond, posted every Caring Bridge Journal Entry on the Medically Eating Tips and Tricks, Cancer Cachexia NCT thread. Thanks go to all of you for all your thoughts and prayers.

So regarding strength, I leave you all with one final thought for the day. My good friend, Diane, sent me a “daily quote” the other day that she said made her think of me. It mademe think of everyone else..……..

"You never know how STRONG you are until being strong is the ONLY choice you have."

Being strong really was the only choice I had, and I will remain strong because I still have no other choice. My family needs me and, besides, Warren would want me to continue to be strong because he can’t physically be here with me. I have no doubt, however, that he is watching over me and our family from Heaven just like he has always done on Earth and that thought brings me much comfort and consolation.



 

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2009 11:40 AM, EDT

Arnetta Journal


Everyone who was able to attend Warren’s Birthday Memorial Service loved it. Reverend Dale Miller’s message was incredibly personalized and full of good humor and praise. The three soloists – Claude accompanied by Mel Rookus singing Warren’s very meaningful request, “Beautiful Isle of Somewhere”, Christine’s Psalm 23 also with Mel at the piano, and Tony’s acappella gospel version of “Amazing Grace” - were astoundingly wonderful. Everyone listening was amazed at the small but incredible sample of talent from the highly esteemed Farmington Community Chorus.

Several times throughout the service, I shed many tears punctuated by a few chuckles during Dale’s VERY well done Eulogy. Then During the final hymn - "How Great Thou Art" - I totally lost it. It's a favorite hymn of ours that mentions all the wonderful things in the world and the universe that Warren loved, before ending with the following verse...........

"When Christ shall come with shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart! Then I shall bow in humble adoration And there proclaim, my God how great Thou art!"...

After the benediction we went to the Memorial Garden to bury Warren’s ashes next to a red rose bush and I cried more tears into the same handful of Kleenex that I had already quite thoroughly dampened during the service.

When we got to the luncheon, I threw the sopping Kleenex with all the tears away and said, Okay, now it's time for the birthday party. The tears were gone and everyone had a wonderful time - including Warren! Many people said they felt he was there. Our oldest granddaughter, Becky, had a chair beside her that she said her grandpa sat in the whole time!

I told myself that Warren often sat silently in the wings waiting for his chance to jump in with a pertinent remark or that renowned dry wit of his that everyone (including me) loved. In fact, our friend Helga mentioned Warren's unique brand of humor in her wonderful verbal tribute to him and to our families' ageless friendship. As you can imagine I was always the "chatterbox" in the family - opposites do attract! I once made the remark within Warren's family that, "I don't know what to say." Warren's dad immediately came back with, "That's a first". Yes, I definitely had a reputation among the quiet Whitehouse clan.

Everybody was full of praise for how fun and wonderful the whole event was. The food provided by friends and members of the church, the table decorations by Carolyn Bough and the service by our social group, the Back 40, and my Circle, Evening Star, were all wonderful and seemed to happen without a hitch. One of our sailing friends, Ronnie, said it was the best funeral she had EVER been to, and she said it to everyone over the microphone during "story time".

Other friends told wonderful stories, too, about how Warren had impacted their lives. Frank and Tom told bowling stories and Don and Wilfred Robinson from The American Sailing Institute talked about Warren's significant contributions to the success of that organization. Our oldest granddaughter, Becky, wrote a wonderful and heartfelt poem for Grandpa which she read, and then she talked about all the fun times that she and her sisters had shared with him. It was all so beautiful! Grace and Beth made nice speeches, too, but Rachel, the one who has cried the hardest, found it too hard to say anything. Rachel and I have hugged a lot lately, though. I think we both find a lot of comfort in that. I held her tight next to me while Dr. Dale Miller buried Warren’s cremains in the garden.

All the available gifts that Warren had received over the past months were there at his birthday party, too. I took a large lined set of divided baskets I had on hand and put the cards in it - one side was get well cards and the other was sympathy cards. I also put the tags from the food gifts on sticks and stuck them in the basket. Early on there was The Great Harvest Easter Basket from Micheal and Marlene and The Edible Fruit Bouquet from our couples bowling league, Easy Commuters. Then at the funeral home, the family parlour was decked out with The Great Harvest Goody Basket from Bob's neighbors, Fern and Al; the deli tray from the Kucharski family and Oma; and the pastry basket from Caryn's college friend, Lisa and her family. The basket of cards and tags on picks was like a bouquet of good wishes. I put a sign in front of it that said "Thank you Everyone for your love and support" and signed it “Warren, Arnetta and Family”. I displayed the basket with all the other gifts Warren received: the prayer Robe and accessories from Donna; the Get Well Beanie Bear from the Granddaughters; “Bo” (named for Bo Schembechler), the Vermont Teddy Bear in University of Michigan Colors from Eric; the exquisite prayer quilt from the Women of Nardin Park; and the picture pillow from Sharon and George with the last picture I have of Warren and me before his diagnoses. There were other gifts, too, too numberous to mention that I had no transferable physical evidence of. All of them were greatly appreciated throughout Warren's illness.
I did save the now deflated Mylar balloon from Dale and Celeste which says, “With God, All Things Are Possible” and put it among the gifts on display. Early in Warren’s illness we couldn’t believe how long that balloon floated even after I brought Warren home from the hospital. We all had hoped its endurance was a sign that God would indeed do the humanly impossible and cure Warren. That didn’t happen but there have been many smaller miracles along the way. The biggest miracle happened the night the cancer spread to the right place in Warren’s brain (July 22/July 23) thereby completely alleviating Warren's intense number 8 to 10 pain that had ceased to be controllable even with larger timed doses of morphine. The next step would have been a morphine drip and Warren and I and the kids might never have had the opportunities we had in the last month of Warren's life to be able to talk about all those things that mattered so much to all of us.
When I got home from the service at around 3pm there was another very nice gift waiting – a glow in the dark glass garden ball from my college friends, Linda and Gwen. The Garden ball is the perfect thing for our deck garden! I have a spot that's in full sun most of the day for which I wanted something just that size. The ball can easily be seen from the deck and from the sunroom. Even though the orb only got a couple hours of sunlight yesterday afternoon, I could see it glowing from the sunroom last night. It will be a wonderful reminder of Warren as well as of the warmth and friendship from my two longtime close friends.

I got back to the house at about 3pm and Caryn and her family came, too. Tim started right in on working on my computers. He didn't finish his many updates and upgrades until after 6pm so we got out all the food sent home with us from the memorial service and we ate from it again. The kids left around 8pm and then I filled the dishwasher and sat down to answer e-mails. By 10pm I was exhausted and went up to say “Goodnight” to Daddy so I could head to my own bed and my big teddy bear companion to hug.

Now I will get on with the business of life and grieving. I have been given several books and book references that have helped others with that process. The book gifts include: “When Going to Pieces Holds You Together” by William A. Miller and “Living With Grief When Illness is Prolonged”, edited by Kenneth J. Doka, Ph.D, both from Elizabeth who lost her husband after a prolonged illness; and "On Death & Dying" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, MD. from Pete who lost his father. Pete says he “found this book very helpful in making me realize that my emotions were normal, and the ebb and flow, and my shifts from grief to anger to bargaining, to the rest of the palette of grief were normal and usual. I learned that there is no "right amount of ......" and that it takes well over the year people sometimes mention for the emotions to subside.”

Books recommended by Christine who lost her beloved John within the past few years are:
[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Wasnt-Ready-Say-Goodbye-Surviving/dp/1891400274/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251472327&sr=1-4"]I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One[/ame]by Pamela D. Blair Ph.D.

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Living-When-Someone-Love-Dies/dp/0553352695/ref=sr_1_22?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251472398&sr=1-22"]How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies[/ame] by Therese A. Rando

And these books helped ease my concerns about life after death:

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/One-Last-Time-Psychic-Medium/dp/0425166929/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251472575&sr=1-4"]One Last Time: A Psychic Medium Speaks to Those We Have Loved and Lost[/ame] by John Edward

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Talking-Heaven-Mediums-Message-After/dp/0451191722/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251472602&sr=1-16"]Talking to Heaven: A Medium's Message of Life After Death[/ame]by James Van Praagh

[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Crossing-Over-Stories-Behind/dp/193212800X/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251472686&sr=1-8"]Crossing Over: The Stories Behind the Stories[/ame] by John Edward

I may eventually be able to read those books that have been gifted to me or recommended by my friend. So far, I've been very busy with family and necessary activities and that business will continue up through Jay and Kate's wedding. Add to that the fact that I've never been a reader (and that's strange because I've always been a writer or, at least, a writer wanna-be) and it may be a while before I get a chance to read anything.

So far anyway, I seem to be handling the "grief thing" pretty well. I really haven't felt any anger and I don't think I will. Who could I be angry at? Warren didn’t will himself to be sick and God didn’t make him that way. There have been times of profound sadness and I'm crying and working my way through those as they come up.

My thought is that there really is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everybody has their own way and I am finding mine. So far it's working for me. I hope it continues to; if it doesn't and I begin to notice chinks in my armor, I've got the three books ready and waiting together on a shelf and Christine’s recommendations to consider, too. It's a comfort to know the information is there. Everyone tells me that I am now about to enter the hardest time – when all the "fanfare" is over – so the counsel may be needed sooner than I imagine.
For now, however, family birthday and anniversary celebrations as well as my joy over Jay and Kate’s wedding and the goal of being ready for it all help to keep me going. The wedding celebration will be small - just family and close friends of the bride and groom - but it's still 65 people in this house if October 17 turns out to be a cold and rainy day and I need to be ready. I’m also thrilled about being able to return to the Farmington Community Chorus this fall and getting back into my life at Nardin Park, too. Most importantly, beyond my faith and my family, my deep friendships with so many of you – friendships that transcend coupledom – will help to carry me through the tough times.

Thank you EVERYONE for taking this journey with me. Thank you for your love, support, messages, prayers and tears. You have been my rock!

This may be my last entry on Caring Bridge but it’s nice to know that Warren’s page will always be here for me if I need it again. Meanwhile, in preparation for possible publication, I will be working on editing all the journal entries to say “Copy write by Arnetta M. Whitehouse” at the end of each one. I will also be adding things in some of them that I left out for brevity’s sake (believe it or not) and for sensitivity reasons.

I also have another idea for a book. It will be a long time coming but if it could help to save a marriage it would be well worth telling. Meanwhile, I leave you with the following thought: as beautiful as our marriage was and as deeply as Warren and I loved each other, there was a time when we became estranged and signatures on a divorce decree almost ended it all. We worked our way back from the edge of the abyss (Warren was incredible!) and were much stronger and much more in love than ever for having endured the struggle and completed the journey. Our story leads me to believe that if there is respect and commitment between a husband and a wife, there is always hope for a marriage to survive any calamity and ours was huge for us. You have all seen, and many have noted, the proof of love’s endurance in the loving relationship that Warren and I shared and will always share as he lives on in my heart now and forever.

Copy write by Arnetta M. Whitehouse


 

Meme4251

New member
what a strong and faithful person you are Arnetta. Again, God Bless You and Your Family. Peace be with you always. Meme
 

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 3, 2009 9:02 PM, EDT
t.cAUmrcQTvownfJNi.jpg

Memorial Service


for


Warren W. Whitehouse


Nardin Park United Methodist Church


September 1, 2009


Eleven o'clock am


Rev. Dr. Dale Miller, Pastor


Rev. Susan Youmans, Pastor


Mel Rookus, Organist



I am standing on the sea shore,


A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.


She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her


Till at last she fades on the horizon.


Someone at my side says: "She is gone."


Gone! Where! Gone from my sight - that is all.


She is as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her.


The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her.


And just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone,"


Others are watching her coming and gladly shout: "There she comes."


That is dying- an horizon and the limit of our sight.



- Bishop Charles Henry Brent

Voluntary
Words of Grace
Jesus said, I am the resurrection and I am life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, yet shall they live. And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. I am Alpha and Omega, .the beginning and the end, the first and the last. I died, and behold I am alive forever. Because I live, you shall live also.
Greeting
We have gathered to worship God and to celebrate the life of Warren William Whitehouse. As we gather, we trust in the presence of God that walks with us in our grief and helps us in our time of need. Although we come in sorrow, we also give God thanks for the life and memories of Warren.


May God grant us grace, that in pain we may find comfort, that in sorrow we may experience hope, and that in death we may claim resurrection.

Prayer
We bring our burdened and grieving hearts to you, 0 God. We feel our loss overwhelming us, and we search our questioning minds to understand the mysteries of life and death. Warren was a precious part of our lives, and we feel we have lost part of ourselves in his death.



Give us understanding that relieves our aching hearts. Help us not to rush through this valley, but to walk with you and learn what it means to live and die in your sight. Teach us to trust in your grace in life and in death. Be especially with members of Warren's family. Clothe each with comfort, compassion, and love. May they sense your presence through our words and acts no matter how inadequate those may be. And now we trust the spirit of our loved one with you, 0 God, believing in your promise of eternal life. Amen.

Solo "Beautiful Isle of Somewhere" Claude Grant
Words of Grace
Romans 8
I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us. We know that all things work together for good, for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose. What then are we to say about these things? If God is for us, who is against us?
Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Pastor: This is the Word of God for the People of God.
People: Thanks be to God.



Solo "Psalm 23" Christine Kavka


Words of Remembrance
Years ago Labor Day was observed on September 1 no matter what day of the week on which the date fell. It was on Labor Day, September 1,1944 that Helen Katherine Whitehouse went into labor and soon she and her husband, William Edward Whitehouse greeted their newest son, Warren William. He joined his older brother, Bob, as a member of a wonderful and loving family.
Childhood friend, Gary Middlekauff, wrote of their early days together:
“I fondly remember the early 50's as a much simpler time. We were lucky to have a whole block full of good kids who hung out together. And where did we "always" hang out? Warren's house! He had it all, thanks to great parents, and a great older brother. They had a big screened-in porch in back where we ate PB&J's, fixed by his mom, and played board games (Clue, Monopoly, and Baseball, probably handed down from Bob).
There was the swing over the sand pile where we built elaborate cities with all his cool metal cars. There was the basketball hoop on the garage with that big driveway in front. In winter, Warren's dad would always flood the empty lot next to them so we could play hockey, and we did, every day after school until dark.
We were all big collectors of pop bottles (2 cents each). That money went for 5 cent candy bars and chocolate malts at the nearby Beer and Wine store and Dairy Queen. Of course there was "Edgewater Amusement Park" where we spent many of our days making Christmas tree forts or shooting off fireworks! Not all kids are lucky enough to have a great childhood. Mine was made better because Warren was in it."
Warren attended Cass Tech and Redford High School. He went on to graduate from the University of Michigan and the University of Michigan Law School.
Growing up Warren learned the value of family as his parents kept in close contact with almost all of the family members, whether they were close or distant relatives. As it turned out there was this distant cousin by the name of Arnetta. Warren's mother's mother and Arnetta's father's mother were sisters. Warren and Arnetta knew each other when they were both younger, but then Arnetta and her family moved away for a few years. Eventually, they returned to Michigan and this young lady attracted the attention of young master Warren.
Warren, however, was painfully shy and he asked another family member to ask Arnetta if she would be interested in going bowling with him. She accepted. It wasn't until the third date that he held hands with her. At the end of the fifth date he informed Arnetta that he had gone to the U of M Law School library to see if it's legal for cousins to marry. If it was illegal he would have to stop seeing her. If it was legal - and it was - then it would be okay to continue seeing her. With that pronouncement he gave Arnetta a quick kiss on the cheek, got into his car and sped away.
Arnetta was left wondering whether she had experienced a marriage proposal or not. She had. They continued to see one another and even though Warren was a student he figured out how to financially enter into marriage. We heard that as a youngster he loved playing with metal cars. He fell in love with a real car, a Jaguar, and began saving money to buy one. After he fell in love with Arnetta he came to the conclusion that she was better than a Jaguar and they were married on July 1, 1967.
They became parents to Caryn and Justin, welcomed Tim into the family as Caryn's husband and their four daughters, Rebekkah, Rachel, Grace and Elizabeth. They also welcomed Jay's fiance, Kate, into the Whitehouse clan.
Warren was a physically active man, playing softball, touch football, ice skating, ice hockey, golf, jogging, bowling and sailing.
This energy carried on throughout his life taking hikes alone and with his family. The family took camping trips in a Ford Econoline Conversion Van. Many times the destination was with the Kucharski (silent "c")family to Tobermory in the Bruce Peninsula on the Georgian Bay in Canada.
They also traveled to Wilderness Park at Disney World, to Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Rushmore, Arizona and some half of our fifty states. Whether they were on a hiking trail or seeing some geographic sight Warren always had to read every sign and plaque in front of him. He was also a neat freak who could not stand sand or dust or dirt in the van or tent.
One his favorite vacations was with Caryn and her family when he rented a house outside Disney World where he bought a multiple-day pass for everyone. Something we must understand, however, is that fact that Warren was thrifty, maybe even frugal. In order to get his full dollar's worth at Disney World the family had to be there when the park opened in the morning and they didn't leave until the parked closed late at night. To save money, each family member was equipped with homemade lunches and they took in their own drinks.
Warren was the best grandpa. He loved his granddaughters and played games with them, read books to them and never passed up on a chance to see them.
As a law student Warren began working in the legal department for Touche, Ross, Bailey and Smart, an accounting firm. In 1971 he partnered with Dale Watts as they began their own law firm. Watts and Whitehouse P.C. with their offices in Birmingham. In 1986 Warren struck out on his own, establishing the law firm of "Warren W. Whitehouse, P.C., working out of his own home, covering Trust and Estate work and Tax work for individuals and corporations.
Warren and Arnetta became members of the Nardin Park congregation in 1991. They immediately became members of the "Back Forty" Fellowship group. Warren served on the Finance Committee and the Memorials Committee, as well as being a member of the first "Discipleship" Bible study group.
Warren was an avid bowler, eventually raising his bowling average to 209. He loved sailing and was a very active member as a Captain of the American Sailing Institute. This teaching organization owns boats together and Warren was quite the sailor. He loved to sail the North Channel at the top of Lake Huron, but his eyes would sparkle when he talked about the time three couples rented a catamaran to sail the Caribbean. The rental came with a captain, but he was totally unnecessary. The rental captain got to sleep for a week while Warren and the rest of the crew were more up to the adventure of sailing the former pirate waters.
Warren possessed an analytical, logical, and methodical personality. When Caryn had saved her baby sitting money to buy a camera, it was Warren who poured over all of the consumer report to find the best evaluation and deals available. He then presented all of his research to Caryn and she had to make the decision.
Caryn always appreciated her dad's honesty and his ability to stand up for what is right. Jay was grateful that his father was such a moral and decent man.
Warren's brother, Bob, wrote these words to him:
“I have always admired and been extremely proud of you. This pride ranges from your going toUofM law school and setting up your own private successful law practice, to raising a truly family with a saint for a wife (great choice), two great children, along with four wonderful, loving grandchildren, which is a tribute to Netta as well as you. I have been proud of how decent, honest, sincere and reverent a man you became. You have truly led an exemplary life, one that any man would be proud to have led."
When we speak of Warren the name of Arnetta has to be mentioned in the same breath. Theirs is a love story whose depth has been so transparent over the years, but especially over these last seven months as Warren struggled with pancreatic cancer. To sit down at the computer each evening and read the Warren Wm Whitehouse's Journal daily epistles from Arnetta was to look into the souls of two genuine people who faced all of life together.
The last weeks of Warren's life were not easy for him or his family. Arnetta wrote on August 17, "He is in a channel halfway between Lake Cognizant and Lake Dementia and I'm finding the navigation very difficult. I'm counting heavily on God to be my lighthouse guiding the sailboat that signifies our marriage."
The front cover of our memorial service bulletin is a lighthouse. Warren navigated his life extremely well. There is much to celebrate, not simply his accomplishments, but also his qualities as a husband, father, grandfather, brother and friend. He engaged life to its fullest and we shall always be thankful for him. Thanks be to God for Warren Whitehouse.
Solo "Amazing Grace" Tony Camiletti
Words of Hope
Sailors know the terms "jetsam" and "flotsam." When a storm is coming, wise sailors throw out of their ships the jetsam, the stuff that is likely to weigh them down and make their ship more likely to take on water and sink. Smart sailors let go of jetsam when a storm is coming.
Flotsam is the stuff that is left over after a ship wreck. It may or may not be very pretty or neat or outwardly desirable. The saving grace of flotsam is that it floats and we can hold onto it to keep ourselves from drowning before we get to shore. Flotsam is what we can hold to after the storm has passed.
The question for us is, "What in our lives - spiritually, physically, emotionally - is jetsam and what is flotsam? What do we need to let go of and what do we need to hang on to?
I believe Warren was the kind of man who intuitively knew the jetsam of life. He threw out anything and everything that would prevent him from sailing the sea of life. He hung on to the values that mattered. He did this task so well, that we can truly appreciate and celebrate his life. Was he perfect? No, but he was faithful to who he was, to his family, to his friends, to his church, and to his God. For preserving the goodness of living Warren receives a captain's rating.
Now we come to the flotsam, the stuff left over after a ship wreck, and I'm pretty sure that pancreatic cancer is a ship wreck. The cancer was not pretty or neat or desirable. It was horrible. Unfortunately, disease strikes. It is not the will of God, but it is simply the by-product of basic principles of this world crashing painfully into our lives. Sometimes our bodies break down, playing no favorites in the process-
Warren knew this. What he discovered was with the flotsam of this experience there was something to hold on, something that prevented him from drowning in self-pity. Warren had the love of his family, his friends and his God. That love is still here, even after the storm of death has passed.
The book of Romans that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ, not even death. Warren's love for you and your love for him has not stopped. God's love for Warren has not stopped, but continues forever. Arnetta wanted to hold this memorial service on Warren's birthday because this day is truly another birthday for Warren, a birth into life eternal, the never-ending relationship with God and with us.
The idea of God loving us forever is an audacious claim, but in fact it's the bedrock of our faith. God's unconditional love for Warren is a seal upon our hearts and a promise that we claim for him and for us this day and every day.
At the top of our bulletin you have read the story about the ship. Today we could say, "He has left us." Instead, we can say, "He has arrived." Death is not the end of life, it is the beginning. It is the beginning of new life, a birth day into life eternal.
Today, there is grief felt by all of us. But along with our tears of sadness, we also have tears of joy - joy in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection. In the Resurrection, the world of the finite becomes the glorious eternal, anxiety becomes peace, loss becomes hope. In the presence of Christ we find eternity, we find peace, and we find hope. Thanks be to God.
Prayer
0 God, Creator of all life, help us to understand death as a special part of life, trusting in your goodness and great love for every one of us. We feel now the pain of parting with one we love, but we rejoice that we were privileged to experience life with Warren. We entrust Warren to you in death, as in life you entrusted him to us. We pray in the name of Jesus Christ through whom you have offered to each of us your great gift of eternal life. Amen.
Commendation
A life we love is gone. Expectations held have vanished. Into the hands of God we commend the soul of Warren William Whitehouse. 0 God, through your grace that can do far more than we can think or imagine, fulfill in Warren your purpose that reaches beyond time and death. Receive him into the fullness of your kingdom and into the glorious company of the saints. Allow us to celebrate his birthday into life eternal. Amen.
The Lord's Prayer [in unison]
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
Hymn No. 77 [standing] "How Great Thou Art"
Benediction
Go, knowing that God goes with you, helping you through the troubled waters of your soul. Go, knowing that nothing, not even death, can defeat God's strong love for Warren or for us. Thanks be to God. Amen.
Voluntary

COMMITTAL SERVICE
I CORINTHIANS 15
Listen, I will tell you a mystery! We will not all die, but we will all be changed. For this perishable body must put on imperishability, and this mortal body must put on immortality. Then the saying that is written will be fulfilled: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, 0 Death, is your victory? Where, 0 Death, is your sting?" But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
PSALM 16
Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also dwells secure. You, [Lord,] show me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy, in your right hands are pleasures forevermore.
PRAYER
0 God, you have ordered this wonderful world and know all things inearth and in heaven. Give us such faith that by day and by night, at all times and in all places, we may without fear commit ourselves and those dear to us to your never-failing love, in this life and in the life to come. Amen.
COMMITTAL
Almighty God, into your hands we commend Warren Whitehouse, in sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. This body we commit to its resting place, earth-to-earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Grant eternal life to Warren and let your perpetual light shine upon him.
PRAYER
God of grace and mercy, we praise you that through the death and resurrection of your Son, Jesus Christ, we are bom to a new and living hope. We thank you especially for Warren, for the gift of his life, and for your grace given to him. We pray that you will receive him into the arms of your mercy and into the blessed peace that passes our understanding.
By the power of your Holy Spirit, continue to reassure us that neither death nor life, nor things present, nor things to come will be able to separate us from your love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Enable us so to live in Christ, that when we have fought the good fight, finished our race, and kept the faith, you will bestow upon us the crown of righteousness and heavenly reunion.
BENEDICTION
Now to the One who is able to keep you from falling, and to make you stand without blemish in the presence of God's glory with rejoicing, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time and now and forever.


 

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
t.dMCyQffxPsdIGQuO.jpg


From ArnettaMae


I am standing on the sea shore,


A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.


She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her


Till at last she fades on the horizon.


Someone at my side says: "She is gone."


Gone! Where! Gone from my sight - that is all.


She is as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her.


The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her.


And just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone,"


Others are watching her coming and gladly shout: "There she comes."


That is dying - an horizon and the limit of our sight.



- Bishop Charles Henry Brent


It’s probably fitting that I should be writing about life continuing on this September 11 – a day when so many widows and widowers were created by the tragedy that we, as Americans, will never, ever forget. Suddenly, I have a more acute understanding of the pain and anguish inflicted on so many innocent spouses and families that fateful day at the hands of terrorists – a world "cancer" that victimizes the innocent and unsuspecting.

As a new widow, I’m finding that all “firsts” are very difficult. The first camping trip on the Saturday and Sunday following Warren’s death, August 22-23, was difficult, but thanks to my daughter’s revelation regarding her final talk with her Dad, when Warren told her he would be there with us on all our adventures, the overnight camping trip turned out to be a positive experience.

Our youngest granddaughter’s 5th birthday celebration on August 27th was also bittersweet; we missed Grandpa but we all felt that he was there with us to celebrate just as he had been with us on the camping trip.

The first Sunday I walked into church without Warren either with me or waiting at home (August 30) brought tears to my eyes. My friend, Judy, who was widowed three years ago, knew it would be hard for me so she sat next to me during the service. I was very glad Judy was there to comfort me, especially when we sang one of our favorite hymns, “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” – a hymn that reduced me to tears and a total inability to sing a single note by the end of the song.

The Memorial Birthday Party Service on September 1 was, of course, wonderful! The people of Nardin Park - Pastor Miller, our friends in the Back 40 and the woman from three circles, Evening Star, Anchor and Torchship, and many others - did a wonderful and absolutely flawless job of carrying out my plans and my every wish for a perfect celebration. They wouldn't let me lift a finger to help and I felt like "Queen for a Day". The music, featuring Mel at the organ and piano and the three soloists from FCC - Tony, Claude and Christine, was also perfect and very memorable. After that beautiful celebration of Warren's life, I figured my busy times with the family and close friends as well as the anticipation of and preparations for Jay and Kate’s wedding would surely carry me through for a while.

Last Friday, September 4th, I drove to Lansing to stay with the girls while Caryn and Tim went out to dinner to celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary. After dinner Tim and Caryn came home and we had a nice bonfire in the back yard with the girls and a friend of Caryn’s. We enjoyed the fire and made s’mores. Then on Saturday, all of us went canoeing on the Grand River in Lansing (Birchfield Park Canoe Rentals). That was another first – the first canoe trip without Warren. We all agreed though, that he had been with us in the canoes also enjoying every turtle, duck and dragonfly that the girls delighted over as we glided along the river on that perfect afternoon.

Sunday, September 6, was the first Sunday in September. At our church that means it is time for communion. It was another “first”. I had taken communion alone before but when I did Warren was always at home perhaps feeling under the weather or overwhelmed with work – especially during tax season. After I took the bread and the “wine” this time it hit me; I was taking communion alone and I would never enjoy the experience with Warren again. By the time I returned to my seat, I was sobbing. Yes, firsts are very hard!

Last week was rough in general, too. I went through some strange feelings for a few days after the memorial service and had a hard time sleeping. I was having many flashbacks to the vision of Warren slumped beside the bed, his legs bent under him, and his left arm on the mattress with his head resting on it. I can't figure out why that vision of Warren’s death kept haunting me when I knew, and still know, that he is with God in Heaven. Heaven is the only place I should be (and want to be) visualizing Warren now. I fought to get the death scene out of my mind because it greatly saddened me. Fortunately, I have been much better for the last couple days. It helped that I looked forward to our oldest Granddaughter, Becky’s, 12th birthday party in Lansing this week. Being with the Golisch family is always a fun time! We are still sharing Grandpa stories and remembrances, too.

Next up is Jay and Kate’s wedding on October 16 and the reception here at our home on October 17. I have a LOT to do before that happens and Jay and Kate will be around quite a lot to get things ready with me. There is no doubt that I will be very busy between now and the wedding.


I know we will all miss Warren’s physical presence during the marriage celebrations but he will definitely be with us in spirit. Warren was, as I am, very proud of Justin’s accomplishments in life and in art, and delighted with Kate as his choice for a mate.

Thanksgiving may be the hardest “first” of all for me and our family. Warren made no secret of the fact that Thanksgiving was his favorite Holiday, bar none. To Warren, Thanksgiving stood for family, faith and love and was less tainted by the commercialism that tends to be associated with Christmas. Most of all Thanksgiving stood for good food and food was always one of Warren’s greatest pleasures in life. He often remarked during his illness how badly he wanted to eat food but fear of the inevitable pain that would result kept him from doing it. I’m hoping that he is enjoying a great Heavenly banquet now!

Yesterday the Cremation locket I ordered in early August came and I filled it with a small amount of Warren's ashes that were held in reserve for it. In life, Warren was very pleased when I showed him the picture of the piece I had ordered. He was also glad when I told him that I would be wearing it for the rest of my life so that I would have him with me at all times. I also bought a charm pin to hang the pendant from if I want to wear a different necklace. Either way the cremation locket will always be with me.

It is a comfort to me to have the locket on. Its beauty and quality greatly exceed my expectations and that is also a joy. The attached picture of it doesn't do the actual piece justice. In actuality, the pendant is brilliant 14kt white gold and the sky around the sailboat is studded with very sparkly crystals that glitter like the stars in Heaven. The sailboat in the pendant signifies our marriage as it does in my tattoo. Having some of Warren’s ashes in an image of the sailboat I wear will forever remind me that God’s guidance is our mutual Lighthouse between Heaven and Earth. His guiding light will shine for both Warren and me until the day when he and I again sail together on the same Horizon - in Heaven with a 10 knot following wind.



Copy write by Arnetta M. Whitehouse
 

dansdiamond

Food Sound Eng.
Gold Site Supporter
THIS IS THE PICTURE OF THE LOCKET THAT IS MISSING FROM THE POST ABOVE.!
t.ZGfrKsANDPQEBdCU.jpg


From ArnettaMae


I am standing on the sea shore,



A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.


She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her


Till at last she fades on the horizon.


Someone at my side says: "She is gone."


Gone! Where! Gone from my sight - that is all.


She is as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her.


The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me, not in her.


And just at the moment when someone says, "She is gone,"


Others are watching her coming and gladly shout: "There she comes."


That is dying - an horizon and the limit of our sight.



- Bishop Charles Henry Brent


It’s probably fitting that I should be writing about life continuing on this September 11 – a day when so many widows and widowers were created by the tragedy that we, as Americans, will never, ever forget. Suddenly, I have a more acute understanding of the pain and anguish inflicted on so many innocent spouses and families that fateful day at the hands of terrorists – a world "cancer" that victimizes the innocent and unsuspecting.

As a new widow, I’m finding that all “firsts” are very difficult. The first camping trip on the Saturday and Sunday following Warren’s death, August 22-23, was difficult, but thanks to my daughter’s revelation regarding her final talk with her Dad, when Warren told her he would be there with us on all our adventures, the overnight camping trip turned out to be a positive experience.

Our youngest granddaughter’s 5th birthday celebration on August 27th was also bittersweet; we missed Grandpa but we all felt that he was there with us to celebrate just as he had been with us on the camping trip.

The first Sunday I walked into church without Warren either with me or waiting at home (August 30) brought tears to my eyes. My friend, Judy, who was widowed three years ago, knew it would be hard for me so she sat next to me during the service. I was very glad Judy was there to comfort me, especially when we sang one of our favorite hymns, “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” – a hymn that reduced me to tears and a total inability to sing a single note by the end of the song.

The Memorial Birthday Party Service on September 1 was, of course, wonderful! The people of Nardin Park - Pastor Miller, our friends in the Back 40 and the woman from three circles, Evening Star, Anchor and Torchship, and many others - did a wonderful and absolutely flawless job of carrying out my plans and my every wish for a perfect celebration. They wouldn't let me lift a finger to help and I felt like "Queen for a Day". The music, featuring Mel at the organ and piano and the three soloists from FCC - Tony, Claude and Christine, was also perfect and very memorable. After that beautiful celebration of Warren's life, I figured my busy times with the family and close friends as well as the anticipation of and preparations for Jay and Kate’s wedding would surely carry me through for a while.

Last Friday, September 4th, I drove to Lansing to stay with the girls while Caryn and Tim went out to dinner to celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary. After dinner Tim and Caryn came home and we had a nice bonfire in the back yard with the girls and a friend of Caryn’s. We enjoyed the fire and made s’mores. Then on Saturday, all of us went canoeing on the Grand River in Lansing (Birchfield Park Canoe Rentals). That was another first – the first canoe trip without Warren. We all agreed though, that he had been with us in the canoes also enjoying every turtle, duck and dragonfly that the girls delighted over as we glided along the river on that perfect afternoon.

Sunday, September 6, was the first Sunday in September. At our church that means it is time for communion. It was another “first”. I had taken communion alone before but when I did Warren was always at home perhaps feeling under the weather or overwhelmed with work – especially during tax season. After I took the bread and the “wine” this time it hit me; I was taking communion alone and I would never enjoy the experience with Warren again. By the time I returned to my seat, I was sobbing. Yes, firsts are very hard!

Last week was rough in general, too. I went through some strange feelings for a few days after the memorial service and had a hard time sleeping. I was having many flashbacks to the vision of Warren slumped beside the bed, his legs bent under him, and his left arm on the mattress with his head resting on it. I can't figure out why that vision of Warren’s death kept haunting me when I knew, and still know, that he is with God in Heaven. Heaven is the only place I should be (and want to be) visualizing Warren now. I fought to get the death scene out of my mind because it greatly saddened me. Fortunately, I have been much better for the last couple days. It helped that I looked forward to our oldest Granddaughter, Becky’s, 12th birthday party in Lansing this week. Being with the Golisch family is always a fun time! We are still sharing Grandpa stories and remembrances, too.

Next up is Jay and Kate’s wedding on October 16 and the reception here at our home on October 17. I have a LOT to do before that happens and Jay and Kate will be around quite a lot to get things ready with me. There is no doubt that I will be very busy between now and the wedding.


I know we will all miss Warren’s physical presence during the marriage celebrations but he will definitely be with us in spirit. Warren was, as I am, very proud of Justin’s accomplishments in life and in art, and delighted with Kate as his choice for a mate.

Thanksgiving may be the hardest “first” of all for me and our family. Warren made no secret of the fact that Thanksgiving was his favorite Holiday, bar none. To Warren, Thanksgiving stood for family, faith and love and was less tainted by the commercialism that tends to be associated with Christmas. Most of all Thanksgiving stood for good food and food was always one of Warren’s greatest pleasures in life. He often remarked during his illness how badly he wanted to eat food but fear of the inevitable pain that would result kept him from doing it. I’m hoping that he is enjoying a great Heavenly banquet now!

Yesterday the Cremation locket I ordered in early August came and I filled it with a small amount of Warren's ashes that were held in reserve for it. In life, Warren was very pleased when I showed him the picture of the piece I had ordered. He was also glad when I told him that I would be wearing it for the rest of my life so that I would have him with me at all times. I also bought a charm pin to hang the pendant from if I want to wear a different necklace. Either way the cremation locket will always be with me.

It is a comfort to me to have the locket on. Its beauty and quality greatly exceed my expectations and that is also a joy. The attached picture of it doesn't do the actual piece justice. In actuality, the pendant is brilliant 14kt white gold and the sky around the sailboat is studded with very sparkly crystals that glitter like the stars in Heaven. The sailboat in the pendant signifies our marriage as it does in my tattoo. Having some of Warren’s ashes in an image of the sailboat I wear will forever remind me that God’s guidance is our mutual Lighthouse between Heaven and Earth. His guiding light will shine for both Warren and me until the day when he and I again sail together on the same Horizon - in Heaven with a 10 knot following wind.


Copy write by Arnetta M. Whitehouse
Arnetta-
The Pendant/Locket is gorgeous.
And Henry Brent's Analogy, is the best I ever heard.
 

arnettamae

New member
Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to let you know that I visited here today to see how everyone is doing but it looks like there hasn't been any activity here recently. I remember all of you with so much fondness and I really don't want to lose touch with you. I think about you often and wish you well.

Dan Diamond and I have remained in contact and I'm very glad for that. I hope that Pie Susan is still coping with her stressful situation and I miss those hugs, too, Susan. To my sister in caring, Wasabi - Linda, I still pray for Bo. I hope that he is staying strong. My angel more than once, Fisher's Mom -Terry, I'd love to know how you are doing. Buzzard and Soup Chef - Shari, I thank you for the kind words, too. I hope all of you and everyone who reads this are well!

For my part, life is sad in many ways and strange without Warren but I am coping one day at a time. It has been a very busy time for our family for the past couple months. Our son is now married (as of October 16) to a wonderful girl and our family is rebuilding our life matrix. I am still journaling at www.caringbridge.org/visit/warrenw2 every now and then as new feelings and experiences warrant. You can check me out there and just drop me a line to let me know how you are doing through the guestbook. My e-mail address is on the site and I'd love to hear from you.

Love to my friends at NCT, Arnetta Mae
 

Fisher's Mom

Mother Superior
Super Site Supporter
I'm so happy to see you here, Arnetta! I've thought of you so many, many times. Thanks for letting us know you are ready for us to visit with you again. I miss your journaling and you so much, but I thought you were needing some time to heal so I didn't write. I'm so sorry! I'll be emailing you tonight and look forward to hearing about the wedding, my friend.
 

buzzard767

golfaknifeaholic
Gold Site Supporter
Hi Arnetta Mae. I'm sure that being so busy has been a blessing for you and congratulations on your new daughter-in-law. It's really good to hear from you.

Buzz
 

PieSusan

Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Hi Arnetta Mae. I have thought of you often and love your new necklace and the beautiful words of the bishop. I am still doing my best to cope with an increasingly difficult situation. I am blessed that my mom still knows me but I have a sinking feeling with all these bugs that this may be her last winter. I just never wanted to have to use her living will. So far, she is recovering from the latest bug but there is so much sickness and pneumonia around her. You have my email address, please feel free to use it anytime. Much love and I always have a special hug for you!
Love, Susan
 
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