Online Arguments

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
If you’ve ever been on the internet for any length of time, you know how easy it is to become involved in an online argument. It seems to me that they are becoming more and more common on this forum so I thought I'd spend some time and try to figure out the causes of these arguments and how we can all prevent them. Here are the conclusions that I have come to:

Problem:
Rapid Fire -
When we see a post online that “lights our fire”, sometimes we are too quick to hit the Reply button causing us to say things that we might not otherwise have said.

Solution:
Take a minute…count to ten…and resist the temptation to get your thoughts on the screen the minute they pop into your head. Reread your post before you hit the submit button.

Problem:
Transferring Anger -
When someone posts their position on an issue and another poster disagrees, they see that person as a representative of everything they hate about the issue and they take out all of their frustration on the poster.

Solution:
Sometimes when we are posting we forget that we are talking to human beings…living people with real feelings. It’s okay to disagree, it’s not personal.

Problem:
Miscommunication -
People sometimes get angry when they misinterpret what another poster has written. Sometimes it’s a joke, or playful teasing…not intending to hurt anyone. Sometimes the poster is just having a bad day or may be tired.

Solution:
Don’t get your feathers ruffled. It may just be a careless remark or the way you are interpreting it. When you are participating in a forum, sometimes it helps to have a thick skin.

Problem:
Walking the fine line -
Not unlike kids, some posters are constantly trying to see just how close they can get to the line without actually breaking the rules. Many “Linewalkers” have it down to an art form, their post starts out harmlessly enough and they just have to get that one digg in just to flame another poster.

Solution:
You can’t control another person no matter how hard you may try so if you are on the receiving end of a “Linewalker’s” subtle diggs, let it roll off you back…eventually they will tire of not being able to get a rise out of you and the “fun” will be gone. If you are a "Linewalker", recognize it and stop being a pain in the ass for not only the person you are trying to flame but the mods and admin.

Added:

Problem: Gossip - Talking about other people in a PM.

Solution: Remember that it's a PERSONAL message between two people. Keep it between yourselves. If you feel uncomfortable talking about that person, tell the person that you are having the PM with that you really don't want to discuss it and leave it at that don't try to add fuel to a fire. We are all adults here and there are a multitude of personalities in this forum so it is only normal that some people will butt heads and it is much better to vent about a person in a PM than it is to put it out on the open forum.

If any of you want to add your thoughts…feel free…I promise I won’t get my panties in a wad. :wink:
 
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Maverick2272

Stewed Monkey
Super Site Supporter
Wadded panties....



Wait... you said something else?? LOL!

Nice post Mama!! The biggest thing to remember is that from time to time all of us will in one form or another 'cross the line' on the rules. This is why we have Mods, so when one pulls, edits, closes, or deletes the threads cause it crossed the line, don't act surprised.... ya knew the rules and knew it was coming... be gracious enough to acknowledge what ya did! And adult enough to accept it.
 

buzzard767

golfaknifeaholic
Gold Site Supporter
One of the nice things about NCT is that it is somewhat self moderating in that many members have no problem calling out the author of an offensive post. That is a good thing and never discouraged. We all know the rules, don't we? Any offensive posts such as personal attacks have been and will continue to be removed along with a PM notification to the offender. Repeat offenders beware the consequences.

If you want to get a little rough, post in the romper room or in FF. If you have a problem with someone, use the PM function. It's all so simple.

Buzz
 

Biskit

New member
Sounds like most of us have our poop in the groop on this issue.
Great thread, Mama, and great thread, everybody!
 

Adillo303

*****
Gold Site Supporter
Mama great thread -

I suggest that before posting the message you ask yourself, would I say this to someone face to face and how would I feel if it was said to me.

Andy C
 

Keltin

New member
Gold Site Supporter
:huh: :pat:

And how does one go about catching wind of it.....by being a hacker or something?
 

Biskit

New member
:huh: :pat:

And how does one go about catching wind of it.....by being a hacker or something?

Nooo, but you never know when the one to whom you are gossipping will tell another forum member who tells the subject of your gossippy conversation.

Kinda like small towns, everybody knows everybody else's business, sooner or later.
 
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Keltin

New member
Gold Site Supporter
Nooo, but you never know when the one to whom you are gossipping will tell another forum member who tells the subject of your gossippy conversation.

Kinda like small towns, everybody knows everybody else's business, sooner or later.

If I was gonna PM something to someone, then I'd trust them first. You get a feel for people, so you don't just PM someone your dirty laundry unless you feel safe that you have a good ear before you. Although, I have heard of people that just Spam PM boxes looking for anyone that will listen. Doesn't sound to bright to me.
 

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
I added the solution to the PM problem at the bottom of the original post. Anyone in agreement?
 

Biskit

New member
No, not bright at all, Keltin. However, even those whom you trust can, behind their screens and keyboards, can be the wolf in sheep's clothing.
Take nothing for granted.
 

TexasGirl

The Invisible
Super Site Supporter
Yes mama, I agree. You need to be careful what you say and whom you say it to in pm's
 

PieSusan

Tortes Are Us
Super Site Supporter
Also, remember when the situation becomes more than you care to tolerate there is always the ignore button. Poof!
 

Keltin

New member
Gold Site Supporter
No, not bright at all, Keltin. However, even those whom you trust can, behind their screens and keyboards, can be the wolf in sheep's clothing.
Take nothing for granted.


True. It's sad that cynicism is actually a required skill these days. :doh:
 

Keltin

New member
Gold Site Supporter
What most people don’t know is that all of these Forums that we love to visit have a powerful built in self moderating feature. Yes, as a user, you can moderate a thread you don’t like. It’s a bit of code built into Windows that allows you to exploit this little loophole. This little bit of code is very powerful, but not many people know it exists!

If you ever find a thread you don’t like, and wish to “mod” it as being offensive or troublesome to you, and here is the secret….sorry Mods, but I’m telling…….hold down the ALT key on your keyboard, and then hit F4. So this hidden code is Alt+F4.

Not many people know about it, so I guess I’m letting the cat out of the bag! Start moderating everyone!!!! :clap:
 

sattie

Resident Rocker Lady
What most people don’t know is that all of these Forums that we love to visit have a powerful built in self moderating feature. Yes, as a user, you can moderate a thread you don’t like. It’s a bit of code built into Windows that allows you to exploit this little loophole. This little bit of code is very powerful, but not many people know it exists!

If you ever find a thread you don’t like, and wish to “mod” it as being offensive or troublesome to you, and here is the secret….sorry Mods, but I’m telling…….hold down the ALT key on your keyboard, and then hit F4. So this hidden code is Alt+F4.

Not many people know about it, so I guess I’m letting the cat out of the bag! Start moderating everyone!!!! :clap:

Thanks Keltin!!! I had to fire up my browser again!!! (I had no idea what the hell it did!) Had to try it!
 

Mama

Queen of Cornbread
Site Supporter
Thanks Keltin!!! I had to fire up my browser again!!! (I had no idea what the hell it did!) Had to try it!

OMG....I think I peed my pants.....:yum: I'm glad somebody else did it...I had no idea what he was talking about and I was gonna have to try it.
 

Biskit

New member
Keltin, since no threads have offended me, I don't have a chance to play. What, exactly, does Alt+F4 do?
 

sattie

Resident Rocker Lady
OMG....I think I peed my pants.....:yum: I'm glad somebody else did it...I had no idea what he was talking about and I was gonna have to try it.

You know how they say curiosity killed the cat? I just can't resist!!!
 
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