I bumped into this on the Net…..a Cheeseburger In A Can! Who’d have thunk it?
It’s only sold in Germany, so I had to have this imported. I got two. One I will leave on the shelf with my other bizarre food collection such as my can of Spotted Dick from the UK. The other…….I’m going to eat it and give you, the faithful members of NCT, a report.
Wish me luck!
First off, to heat this up, the primary suggestion is to use a “bain-marie”. That is basically a double boiler. Since this burger is in a can, it is the top spot of a double boiler…..so all we need do is drop this can into boiling water for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes in the boiling water, I pull it out and opened it.
I’m encouraged! It LOOKS like a burger! Amazing!!
I put it out on a plate, and then cut it into servings - there are several of us here waiting to try this.
So…….time to eat it!
OMGWTFBBQPKMN!!!!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sick flea ridden Cow crap in your mouth? I’m pretty sure this closely emulates that!!!
The bread is actually a lot like bread. That is impressive. It was soft and flaky and the sesame seeds were a nice touch.
The rest? An apocalyptic tragedy.
The meat, if you can call it that, had the same texture as……..hmmmm……well, how I would imagine cork board would feel like in my mouth if I so chose to chew it.
The frightening part was the weird stuff on top of the “patty”. DW swears she saw a pickle, and there was red stuff that I think is supposed to be ketchup. Either that or the congealed and clotted blood of the worker that killed himself for having to make this.
And I never saw a freaking thing that looked like cheese! Maybe it was deconstructed cheese???
The taste is odd. The bread tastes like bread, but the patty and “toppings” taste unlike anything I’ve ever had. Kind of like formaldehyde, but not quite as bitter. A definite twang of vinegar which I’m supposing is supposed to be part of the ketchup or pickle?
Chewing through this isn’t unpleasant. It’s not squishy, but the patty is, as I said, something like cork board. Not tough, but oddly resistant. The after taste, especially after you exhale, puts you in the mind of being the first zombie on point to actually score some brains! But I imagine those brains were a bit tastier than this.
If you were stuck in the dessert with no help, about to die of hunger and dehydration, and were forced to drink your own urine, you’d probably welcome this as a palate cleanser between urine samples…..I think.
It wasn’t salty, or mushy, and it was not something I’d eagerly put in my mouth again. Funky isn’t strong enough to describe it. The bread isn’t bad at all…..but the rest……I think I’d rather lick a battery terminal before trying this again. At least the battery terminal has a little zip to it to cut through the monstrosity that this canned horror offered.
This has destroyed an adage for me. It’s often said that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. This thing LOOKED like a burger, and even SMELLED like a burger, but it tasted like a pickled turd. So much for those age old colloquialisms!
Ugh, I need a shot of something now….maybe kerosene or Super Unleaded????
It’s only sold in Germany, so I had to have this imported. I got two. One I will leave on the shelf with my other bizarre food collection such as my can of Spotted Dick from the UK. The other…….I’m going to eat it and give you, the faithful members of NCT, a report.
Wish me luck!
First off, to heat this up, the primary suggestion is to use a “bain-marie”. That is basically a double boiler. Since this burger is in a can, it is the top spot of a double boiler…..so all we need do is drop this can into boiling water for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes in the boiling water, I pull it out and opened it.
I’m encouraged! It LOOKS like a burger! Amazing!!
I put it out on a plate, and then cut it into servings - there are several of us here waiting to try this.
So…….time to eat it!
OMGWTFBBQPKMN!!!!
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sick flea ridden Cow crap in your mouth? I’m pretty sure this closely emulates that!!!
The bread is actually a lot like bread. That is impressive. It was soft and flaky and the sesame seeds were a nice touch.
The rest? An apocalyptic tragedy.
The meat, if you can call it that, had the same texture as……..hmmmm……well, how I would imagine cork board would feel like in my mouth if I so chose to chew it.
The frightening part was the weird stuff on top of the “patty”. DW swears she saw a pickle, and there was red stuff that I think is supposed to be ketchup. Either that or the congealed and clotted blood of the worker that killed himself for having to make this.
And I never saw a freaking thing that looked like cheese! Maybe it was deconstructed cheese???
The taste is odd. The bread tastes like bread, but the patty and “toppings” taste unlike anything I’ve ever had. Kind of like formaldehyde, but not quite as bitter. A definite twang of vinegar which I’m supposing is supposed to be part of the ketchup or pickle?
Chewing through this isn’t unpleasant. It’s not squishy, but the patty is, as I said, something like cork board. Not tough, but oddly resistant. The after taste, especially after you exhale, puts you in the mind of being the first zombie on point to actually score some brains! But I imagine those brains were a bit tastier than this.
If you were stuck in the dessert with no help, about to die of hunger and dehydration, and were forced to drink your own urine, you’d probably welcome this as a palate cleanser between urine samples…..I think.
It wasn’t salty, or mushy, and it was not something I’d eagerly put in my mouth again. Funky isn’t strong enough to describe it. The bread isn’t bad at all…..but the rest……I think I’d rather lick a battery terminal before trying this again. At least the battery terminal has a little zip to it to cut through the monstrosity that this canned horror offered.
This has destroyed an adage for me. It’s often said that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck. This thing LOOKED like a burger, and even SMELLED like a burger, but it tasted like a pickled turd. So much for those age old colloquialisms!
Ugh, I need a shot of something now….maybe kerosene or Super Unleaded????
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