Real Fear.

[The Tourist]

My wife just left the house for her doctor to get a needle biopsy. Since I am worthless during things like this, it was decidied that one of her best friends accompany her, and then go to a "girlie" restaurant for lunch.

I've noticed that as my friends and I get older there is less and less to fear. I've been sick, I lost my mind (twice), broke my neck in more places than Christopher Reeve and squared my shoulders to idiots for real-deal smack-downs.

But this scares me.

I cannot do anything. In fact, even if I could we won't get the results back for five days. Granted, any anomaly on a thyroid is very, very treatable, usually with surgery (they take the damaged half) and then adminsiter the necessary supplements.

I know that she is scared. Me, too. What can we do? There is nothing to hit, or smash, or sue, or threatened or convey a scare of our own making. You sit peacefully, and you pray.

I know the feeling. My doctor once suggested I get a colonoscopy. I knew why he provided the referral. I knew what they were looking for, and I new the table stakes. At some point that morning waiting in the hospital staging area, there was an eerie calm that washed over me.

Moments later I lay in a gurney, and said the last prayer. A nurse came in, smiled, and stated, "Son, the hard part is over--you have done your part, the rest is up to us."

She was also kind enough to provide information that got me through the ordeal. She stated that the anesthetic used had a slight amnesia effect. And she was right. I "awoke" half naked standing in a recovery room drinking a Pepsi with my wife staring at me in disbelief.

And so it is here. But we found our doctors, even our family physician of 30 years, to be unconcerned about her state of malaise. As is my custom, I ranted, threatened, seethed a tirade--even spit that I would rev my Harley inside their waiting room. (And if you've been to the Madison west-side Dean Clinic, then you'll know that the doors are quite wide.)

As in the old joke about a mule and a 2x4, magically my doc, an endocrinologist, and the coronary specialist agreed to examine her--all at the same time, all in the same room--and got us to this day.

But now, my wife and I have played our parts, we can do no more. The fate of her condition and the slate of therapy now rest in the hands of specialists.

You want fear for this Halloween? Fear is not a witch's caldron, a swarm of vampire bats or a bucket of blood. Fear is a quiet white hospital waiting room, an unsure future and a silent prayer.

[blondie]

Tourist, I am sorry to hear about your wife. You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated! It is apparent that you both have been through a lot and I am sure that you will be able to handle whatever is tossed at you next- Good luck!

[Doc]

Chico, I'm so sorry to hear this. You both are in my thoughts and prayers.


You want fear for this Halloween? Fear is not a witch's caldron, a swarm of vampire bats or a bucket of blood. Fear is a quiet white hospital waiting room, an unsure future and a silent prayer.


So true. You sure have a way with words. :tiphat:

[joec]

Sorry to hear this Chico. My wife Dawn has thyroid problems herself though she takes a pill once a day to keep hers under control. They removed a piece of hers a couple of years ago. Now she is pretty much back to normal with high blood pressure pill and thyroid pill once a day.

[The Tourist]

Guys, thank you for the kind words, prayers and sentiment. My wife is home now. She was just exhausted, and the mutts and her passed out on the couch.

By law, someone from health services has to guarantee that enough cells have been removed to make ten slides. To accomplish this they stuck her four times, found that one attempt failed due to a clot in the needle, and then they went back for the final fifth specimen.

The technician verified the count, and they packed her neck in what appears to be an "ice pack bandage." She bruises and scars very easily, and in fact, her neck was turning blue while still at the doctor's office.

Rather than make her wait the full five days, the doc promised to have word to her by 1600 hours tomorrow afternoon.

[jim_slagle]

Chico, glad she is back home.

I've been thinking about both of you today, just don't know what to say.

Jim

[The Tourist]

You and me both. In fact, you can't even make plans until we get the definitive word back from the doc.

Get this. My wife says she wants to watch TV tonight, her show is on.

"Survivor."

[American Woman]

I've noticed that as my friends and I get older there is less and less to fear. I've been sick, I lost my mind (twice), broke my neck in more places than Christopher Reeve and squared my shoulders to idiots for real-deal smack-downs.
But this scares me.
I know that she is scared. Me, too. What can we do? There is nothing to hit, or smash, or sue, or threatened or convey a scare of our own making. You sit peacefully, and you pray.
I'm glad to see she is ok now....I sure can identify with your fears though. My fears get worse the older I get and the more I go thru. Lately I have had watch my MIL deteriorate with Alzheimer, and one serious illness after another with hospital stays. Almost a year ago I watched Daddy die from Cancer.
Instead of growing a tougher skin to this stuff my anxiety is worse. I feel like we have a train headed our way and there is no stopping it.

[The Tourist]

AmWo, it is my sincere belief that once in everyone's life they should have to fight with their backs to the wall with no hope that anyone is coming to rescue them. In that one defining moment when there is no hope, you die, or you dig so deep within yourself and your spirituality that even your enemy knows terror.

Well, that's easy for me to say. I'm insane. With papers.

The overall idea is sound in many ways. If anxiety weakens you, then discard it. It serves no purpose. The boogie-man is coming. No need to fight him before he arrives. Martial your strength, lay a few boobie-traps, sharpen your favorite knife.

The issue here is that this battle is not mine. But I will tell you this. I've listened to my wife notify her friends tonight of the procedure she endured, the possible ramifications, and the news she awaits tomorrow afternoon.

She's ready. She has settled into the battle she has no choice to fight. She did what any true warrior did under these adverse conditions...

...she had a chocolate chip cookie. A big one. I think she snitched a second.

Will 'worry' change the playing field? Will the enemy shrink in size? Will the conditions grant her any mercy? Of course not.

We simply fight the fight we have, not imagine a bigger one. Peace to you, AmWo.

[American Woman]

.

The overall idea is sound in many ways. If anxiety weakens you, then discard it. It serves no purpose. The boogie-man is coming. No need to fight him before he arrives. Martial your strength, lay a few boobie-traps, sharpen your favorite knife.

She's ready. She has settled into the battle she has no choice to fight. She did what any true warrior did under these adverse conditions...
...she had a chocolate chip cookie. A big one. I think she snitched a second.

Will 'worry' change the playing field? Will the enemy shrink in size? Will
That was well put.....I'm working on the anxiety part. My back isn't against the wall yet, but just watching others go thru the battle is what causes my anxiety. I just hope I have their strength when it comes to me.
I think maybe your are right.....and I should just go have a chocolate chip cookie.........a big one http://www.netcookingtalk.com/forums/images/icons/icon10.gif

[The Tourist]

In all seriousness, going insane helped that in me.

I have a great psychiatrist and a very understanding cognitive therapist. After I took the MMPI2 test--which I recommend--I found out that my anxiety was part of a bigger issue.

Now when I see the old buggaboos, those events have little or no effect on me, at all.

Oh, there are some real benefits to going insane.

For example, I get plenty of space in crowded restaurants. No one blocks my view of the theater screen. When I say "price check" on a grocery item, five store employees go run and check. I don't have to repeat myself, even with a sore throat and my projection at a whisper.

Sometimes I just don't feel like going through the whole "fruity as a loon" explanation of being synaptically challenged. So I bark like a German Shepard.

We don't get many salesmen or Jehovah Witnesses at my house.

http://i209.photobucket.com/albums/bb231/TheTourist_bucket/DSC00249.jpg

[The Tourist]

Early this morning, Saturday November 1st, my wife's doctor called.

After viewing the cells from the biopsy, they found some "atypical" cells, kind of an oddball 'neither fish nor fowl' type of growth.

Even with the worst case cases scenario, the odds are positive--there is a full 85% that nothing at all is wrong. Both my wife and I had radiation therapy to our tonsils in the early 1950s as a misguided treatment.

The decision has been made to totally remove her thyroid since any abnormality is now fully contained within the thyroid.

For those of you who prayed for my wife, my abiding thanks.

[jim_slagle]

Those are good odds.

Jim

[The Tourist]

Agreed. The issue that whatever the anomaly, the important part is being fully contained. Evidently a thyroid is a pretty tight little container, and we found it early.

Strangely, my wife was ecstatic. We just got back from a celebration brunch with my SIL and my wife's best friend.

My wife is so thrilled that she will now get treatment for that lethargic feeling that has plagued her for several years.

She actually laughed about whether she was going to get orthoscopic surgery or a "bow tie" cut. Only a tinker's wife would make a "knife joke" at a time like this.