lilylove
Active member
Two stories over the last two days are really scaring me about how the state cares for children that cannot live with their parents.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7982000/7982021.stm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...tacking-and-torturing-pair-of-schoolboys.html
Just makes you want to run out save all those kids......
Ehhhh. I prefer cats
Kind of gives a whole new meaning to birth control I would think. I also think that is a world wide problem and not just in the UK.
Yea, it's a big problem here too.
Pretty regularly bad stories about children who are wards of the state here.
I will say though more frequently there are children who are harmed by their own parents.
The most recent one to really bother me was last week a father who accidentlay killed his infant son by dosing him with methadone and ambien in a bottle to stop him from crying... how could someone do that... totally beyond me
It always kills me when it's kids or the elderly or the disabled that are the victims. But kids are especially heart wrenching.
I was a foster parent for 4 years and it was eye-opening. So many of the abusing parents were kids themselves that grew up knowing nothing but abuse from their parents. I remember wondering why they would have children and do the same thing to their kids? Without fail, they all said they had children because they wanted someone who would love them forever. But since they had no parenting skills because they were never parented, they would lash out automatically when things got tough or stressful. It was so depressing for me because it seemed like a cycle that would be next to impossible to break.
Then the poor kids would get shuttled from foster home to foster home. That was bad enough but tragically, kids get abused in foster homes, too. One of the daughters I adopted sustained a serious head injury in a foster home.
I wish I had the answers. But here's something I'd like to pass on: If you know a young parent who is under a lot of stress and seems to be at their wits end, offer to help if you can. Giving that parent a few hours or even a weekend away from their child(ren) can literally save a child's life.
The cycle can be broken. I came from a very abusive home. I vowed when I had a family I would change things. Break the cycle and give my kids a better childhood and better life than I had. The idea is to improve each generation as you go along, wanting them to do better than you did.
Part of the problem is we need to start giving kids from abusive homes more counseling to teach them that it is not normal and they can break the cycle.
Are you freaking kidding me????
Hope they open a BIG can of Whoop-ass on that guy!
As both a social worker and foster parent I have seen about everything.
In my state, foster care has been privitized and is being run for profit by the not for profit agencies.
Therefore the many years of therapy needed will not happen for the very disturbed families/children. It just costs too much money. The state used to provide these services to help families both to help current family issues and preventive interventions.
Private agencies now recieved twice to triple the amount of money we used to get for services, yet they provide less than 25% of the services we did. The effect on the kids..........more are medicated to control behavior, families are not receiving skills to alleviate problems, and more kids are suffering.
Private agencies are lying about services provided, I have caught them many times saying things to the state and to the courts I knew were not true to get kids released from their custody prematurely.
A private agency CEO built a multi-million dollar home shortly after receiving the first state foster care contract. Do you think this was a coincidence?
I saw a judge consistently support the inappropriate abuse that a mother gave her children, and contradict the state social worker because the judge felt sorry for the mother cause she had been in foster care as a child. This judge went on to blame the state for "picking on" this abusive mother. The judge even has the audacity to demand the state buy this mother many things: like multiple cars, furniture, pay utility bills, and such to the tune of over $100,000 in less than 10 years. And the judge ordered the state to make an exception for this abusive mom and the welfare to work program does not apply to her anymore. Everytime abusive behavior is reported, this judge claims this mom is being lied about, and nothing is ever done to help the kids.
And you wonder why social workers experience burn out....?
nope.... http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/42249262.html
... and from the looks of it these were fairly well-off suburban people
In my neighborhood so many of the parents are just totally absent, drug addicts etc... always kills me when I see kids not even 20 pushing strollers up to the drug corners.... people always complain about the kids around here but alot of them are nice kids (a handful are little monsters)... they have an uphill battle to not fall victim to the cycle though.
I also came from an extremely abusive home and learned real fast, how not to treat my own children. But while caring for my own children i fead many of neighbor children whom's parents spent their welfare money on drugs and alcohol.
Some kids of my generation didn't just fall thru the net but got well and truly kicked thru it. They grew up with such high abuse they just knew they didn't want their kids growing up the same. But frequently Social Workers deem parents like that unfit to rear kids for lack of a conventional and loving upbringing...i.e. they don't abuse their kids but go too far the other way and fear to discipline them. Then their kids end up in the system.
In my own personal opinion, a lot of kids generation after generation suffer because of the damned system!!!
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7982000/7982021.stm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...tacking-and-torturing-pair-of-schoolboys.html
Just makes you want to run out save all those kids......
Ehhhh. I prefer cats
Kind of gives a whole new meaning to birth control I would think. I also think that is a world wide problem and not just in the UK.
Yea, it's a big problem here too.
Pretty regularly bad stories about children who are wards of the state here.
I will say though more frequently there are children who are harmed by their own parents.
The most recent one to really bother me was last week a father who accidentlay killed his infant son by dosing him with methadone and ambien in a bottle to stop him from crying... how could someone do that... totally beyond me
It always kills me when it's kids or the elderly or the disabled that are the victims. But kids are especially heart wrenching.
I was a foster parent for 4 years and it was eye-opening. So many of the abusing parents were kids themselves that grew up knowing nothing but abuse from their parents. I remember wondering why they would have children and do the same thing to their kids? Without fail, they all said they had children because they wanted someone who would love them forever. But since they had no parenting skills because they were never parented, they would lash out automatically when things got tough or stressful. It was so depressing for me because it seemed like a cycle that would be next to impossible to break.
Then the poor kids would get shuttled from foster home to foster home. That was bad enough but tragically, kids get abused in foster homes, too. One of the daughters I adopted sustained a serious head injury in a foster home.
I wish I had the answers. But here's something I'd like to pass on: If you know a young parent who is under a lot of stress and seems to be at their wits end, offer to help if you can. Giving that parent a few hours or even a weekend away from their child(ren) can literally save a child's life.
The cycle can be broken. I came from a very abusive home. I vowed when I had a family I would change things. Break the cycle and give my kids a better childhood and better life than I had. The idea is to improve each generation as you go along, wanting them to do better than you did.
Part of the problem is we need to start giving kids from abusive homes more counseling to teach them that it is not normal and they can break the cycle.
Are you freaking kidding me????
Hope they open a BIG can of Whoop-ass on that guy!
As both a social worker and foster parent I have seen about everything.
In my state, foster care has been privitized and is being run for profit by the not for profit agencies.
Therefore the many years of therapy needed will not happen for the very disturbed families/children. It just costs too much money. The state used to provide these services to help families both to help current family issues and preventive interventions.
Private agencies now recieved twice to triple the amount of money we used to get for services, yet they provide less than 25% of the services we did. The effect on the kids..........more are medicated to control behavior, families are not receiving skills to alleviate problems, and more kids are suffering.
Private agencies are lying about services provided, I have caught them many times saying things to the state and to the courts I knew were not true to get kids released from their custody prematurely.
A private agency CEO built a multi-million dollar home shortly after receiving the first state foster care contract. Do you think this was a coincidence?
I saw a judge consistently support the inappropriate abuse that a mother gave her children, and contradict the state social worker because the judge felt sorry for the mother cause she had been in foster care as a child. This judge went on to blame the state for "picking on" this abusive mother. The judge even has the audacity to demand the state buy this mother many things: like multiple cars, furniture, pay utility bills, and such to the tune of over $100,000 in less than 10 years. And the judge ordered the state to make an exception for this abusive mom and the welfare to work program does not apply to her anymore. Everytime abusive behavior is reported, this judge claims this mom is being lied about, and nothing is ever done to help the kids.
And you wonder why social workers experience burn out....?
nope.... http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/42249262.html
... and from the looks of it these were fairly well-off suburban people
In my neighborhood so many of the parents are just totally absent, drug addicts etc... always kills me when I see kids not even 20 pushing strollers up to the drug corners.... people always complain about the kids around here but alot of them are nice kids (a handful are little monsters)... they have an uphill battle to not fall victim to the cycle though.
I also came from an extremely abusive home and learned real fast, how not to treat my own children. But while caring for my own children i fead many of neighbor children whom's parents spent their welfare money on drugs and alcohol.
Some kids of my generation didn't just fall thru the net but got well and truly kicked thru it. They grew up with such high abuse they just knew they didn't want their kids growing up the same. But frequently Social Workers deem parents like that unfit to rear kids for lack of a conventional and loving upbringing...i.e. they don't abuse their kids but go too far the other way and fear to discipline them. Then their kids end up in the system.
In my own personal opinion, a lot of kids generation after generation suffer because of the damned system!!!
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