AARP Forum

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you're done you'll have a
place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in
the bible. Is that true?
Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt ."

Q: How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for
these Crow's feet and all
those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull
them out.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old
people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they
park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year
olds to have problems with
short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem,
Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep
More soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year
olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common
remark made by 60-plus
year olds when they enter
antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"

Q: Someone has told me that
menopause is mentioned in
the bible. Is that true?
Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass
all the way to Egypt


LOL!

All I can say is thank god the days of menopause have passed. Probably the only time in my life thoughts of murder crossed my mind with my wife.

Funny Stuff buzz!!!!!

I will tell you something that drives me nuts.

And that's sixty year old men, bald on top with log fringe on the sides, in tie-dyed T-shirts bobbing their heads to psychodelic music.

...in a VW van...

The Tourist said:

I will tell you something that drives me nuts.

And that's sixty year old men, bald on top with log fringe on the sides, in tie-dyed T-shirts bobbing their heads to psychodelic music.

...in a VW van...

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Why begrudge them their fun? Its not your fun but it's theirs. I love watching my folks have fun... they worked their asses off for years now they have a bit more freedom.. it's nice to see them get silly .... step dad's more of a frat boy then a hippy so it's doo-wop out of a SUV but same difference.

I would be so happy when I am 60 to be able to enjoy cruise around in T-Top IROC blasting punk & metal

PanchoHambre said:

Why begrudge them their fun? Its not your fun but it's theirs. I love watching my folks have fun... they worked their asses off for years now they have a bit more freedom.. it's nice to see them get silly .... step dad's more of a frat boy then a hippy so it's doo-wop out of a SUV but same difference.

I would be so happy when I am 60 to be able to enjoy cruise around in T-Top IROC blasting punk & metal

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LOL, we have an '85 TransAm w/ t-tops in the garage waiting 'til we're over 40 to be put back together so we wont look like such dweebs driving it around now!!!
Maybe DH could get a mulllet then again tooo.....

PanchoHambre said:

Why begrudge them their fun?

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Fun? That's not what I'm getting at. I have fun and I still do many of the same hobbies I did as a kid.

I'm referring more to arrested development.

There's a time to realize that Garcia has passed away and to stop trapsing around the country for "The Grateful Dead."

In like manner, do you still believe that multi-millionaires like Snoop Dogg and P Diddy are really "street gangstas"? I doubt either one of them even walk onto what you and I would call a 'street' for fear of tracking dirt into their limousines.

I'm 58 years old. Do you know what Peter Fonda's "Captain America" bike would do to my spine, my spleen or my kidneys? That cycle has a rigid frame, no suspension front or rear, and a seat perhaps just shy of 2-inches thick. I doubt many 20-somethings could get that bike cross-country.

We age, this is a fact. Go to the gym, do some healthy things. But you also enter into jobs and marriages, and those are important facets of life which need serious attention. I wouldn't trust a glazed 60 year old hippie to help me carry groceries to my car--despite the fact that's all he can do for a living.

The Tourist said:

There's a time to realize that Garcia has passed away and to stop trapsing around the country for "The Grateful Dead."


. But you also enter into jobs and marriages, and those are important facets of life which need serious attention. I wouldn't trust a glazed 60 year old hippie to help me carry groceries to my car--despite the fact that's all he can do for a living.

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Why? if that is the life you enjoy why stop?

and there are lots of crappy jobs and miserable marriages maybe a bit too much serious attention to go around.

Maybe not carry your groceries but I would trust him to tell a great story and probably cook up a good meal from nothing. and know where a dry place to sleep was if needed.

I suspect you did not like the same theoretical van of dudes much 30 years ago either...

that's fine... the thought of a BMW full of young MBA's makes me shiver... I don't think I will like them much 25 years from now either.

I'm not sure what snoop dog had to do with anything.

There's an old saying that if you remember the '60s you weren't really there. In may ways, I believe it.

(My reference to Snoop was an analogy. There are many things and people which appear romantic and enticing. The reality is often a letdown. Snoop is a millionaire. A 'banger is an ignorant, dangerous thug. A hippie isn't a quaint reminder of the past. In any other context he'd be described as an unemployed drug addict.)

Let's be honest. Most of the 'boomers here went to college with hippies and societal drop-outs. Precious few of them ever left the cities and made a working, self-sustaining commune with the values they professed. Heck, lots of them couldn't even get it together enough to make it to class.

I had a blast in college. Great memories. I also have an attic full of great toys from my childhood, as well.

There are phases to life, and responsibilities. And in truth, it was usually wealthy parents who provided the unlimited funds for a hippie to sit in the sun and do nothing. The very parents he denounced as the "bourgeoisie."

tourist, i realize that you ask for no proverbial quarter, and certainly offer none.

but doesn't judging everyone so harshly get tiring?

buckytom said:

tourist, i realize that you ask for no proverbial quarter, and certainly offer none.

but doesn't judging everyone so harshly get tiring?

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Nope, not at my age.

There comes to a point in the road where it's simply too much effort to lug around all of that tact and politcal correctness.

Oh, I've always thought the same on many of the issues discussed here. But during that time I saw many hip students and war protesters simply piss away tens of thousands of dollars in college funds provided by their parents. And if you think about it, somebody has to underwrite the tab for sitting around all day, bitching, smoking dope and doing nothing.

I will give you this, perhaps it's suppressed anger. Remember in the Biblical tale of "The Prodigal Son," the industrious elder son confesses unhappiness for playing by the rules. Well, that's me.

While many of these garden slugs were laying around going to summer school or packbacking across Europe, I earned my college tuition on a loading dock. I have no college debts. One girl I know found out her Dad was dying--and went to Europe anyway.

The world is full of easy riders. I don't think calling 'em on it is a crime. The real tragedy is thinking that the world has to pay for their folly (or at least compliment them for thier diverse lifestyle) while the rest of us provide an environment where this nonsense can flourish.

School day. I have my books in my arm. I'm crossing the Park Street Bridge. You can smell the marijuana even at the bottom of Bascom Hill. Going in the opposite direction is a herd of out-of-state protesting lemmings shouting "On strike, shut it down." I don't even look up anymore.

That was an average day.

buckytom said:

tourist, i realize that you ask for no proverbial quarter, and certainly offer none.

but doesn't judging everyone so harshly get tiring?

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Good comment BT and I have to agree.

Chico, you judged the guy from him bopping his head wearing a tie die shirt and driving a vw van.
lord knows his Mercedes might be in the shop and he's taking a few days off of his corporate job. Maybe Maybe not ... but to jump to such conclusions is a big stretch to me.
Many of those hippies you saw in college would not be caught like you described but ....so some of them do. They've earned it just as you've earned the right to ride your chopper and not be thought of as an old hells angel who killed kids at the Moneray Pop Festival. Fair is fair.

I have to admit ... when I first saw this thread I thought this thread was someone asking for an AARP Forum.

ok, fair enough. i agree with you on a lot of it. actually, just about all of it (except for the pot smoking). but i try not to let the turkeys get me down, nor even get under my skin. if they have any effect on my life, then they've won, albeit in a small, distracting way.

besides, you should always walk a mile in the shoes of someone that you're critcizing.
that way, if they do get angry, you're a mile away and they have no shoes.



just don't go all calvinist on us: people can change.

Tourist. I don't see eye to eye with you but I do understand your perspective. My folks are early boomers. Just a bit older than you.

They were working class strivers... in the height of hippiedom mom was a Debutante and Dad was a Young Republican. You can't rebel against something you never had.

My father... sounds like you.

Mom... I think she things she missed out on something.

Incidentally... my one "hippie" uncle... always the black sheep is now the tea totaling, working class biker, conservative, fitness freak and has been for the last three decades. He raised his kids well too.. his X wife would fit the stereotype you detest and still does.

edit to add... all the striving really did not work out for them anyway.. you can't really become something you are not.

What I don't like is how a generation that set out for social change became the generation of greed and consumption that got us the current pickle. I am more disappointed with the boomers for what they did as executives & bankers and absurd consumers in the last two decades than what they did as kids and this behavior really crosses political boundaries. both sides were on the take.

Doc said:

I have to admit ... when I first saw this thread I thought this thread was someone asking for an AARP Forum.

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lol, i was expecting to see really large type fonts, and ads for banks, geriatric medicine, and funeral homes...

buckytom said:

ok, fair enough. i agree with you on a lot of it. actually, just about all of it (except for the pot smoking). but i try not to let the turkeys get me down.

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Oh, folks can change. I cleaned up my act upon my first job.

But their antics did effect more than we knew at the time.

Some of the guys in my dorm flunked out freshman year. I saw a few of them again in my junior year. They had been in the army.

The things this country did so carelessly followed my generation in all pursuits. You cannot even walk down memory lane with a baby boomer without discussing The Beatles, hoola hoops and "The War."

I was neither a protester nor a soldier and you cannot imagine the smoldering anger I feel in remembering all aspects of my life and this taint of sadness attached to my life and millions of others.

Hunter Thompson once called this idea "the masturbating raven" which sits on your shoulder. Always there. Ever disgusting.

There is a plausible theory that our college protests lengthened the war. Even some old Cong and Minh admit it was factor in 'hanging on a bit longer.' They felt that certainly the entire USA would soon turn against the war and they would win by default. And they did.

The hippies of that era could not be concerned about anything but cutting classes, smoking dope and protecting their own butts on their parents' nickel.

I know, I was there.

The three biggest cespools of this behavior were Columbia, Berkeley and the UW Madison.

PanchoHambre said:

What I don't like is how a generation that set out for social change became the generation of greed and consumption that got us the current pickle. I am more disappointed with the boomers for what they did as executives & bankers and absurd consumers in the last two decades than what they did as kids and this behavior really crosses political boundaries. both sides were on the take.

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Good point. I went to the U of Wis. and witnessed everything Chico talked about. What happened? I'm a fiscal conservative but that's due to a combi of being like my Dad and afraid of running out of money when I get old. Hell, I AM old. LOL

The consumption and greed has been passed along to the Gen Xers and I doubt it will go away soon unless we go through a massive depression and everyone starts acting like my parents or in many cases, grandparents.

Buzz

PanchoHambre said:

My father... sounds like you.

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So did my Dad , but then Kent State forced Dad to reevaluate his "America Right or Wrong" stance, and then came Watergate and I stopped getting hit/threatened for calling Nixon Tricky Dick .... The era didn't go completely over my fathers head.

What I don't like is how a generation that set out for social change became the generation of greed and consumption that got us the current pickle.

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Oh Well ...

I remember being a youngster, and I'll consider that being in High School, thinking how MY generation will someday be in charge and straighten this mess out because nothing can be as screwed up as Johnson and Nixon.

Turns out my generation had an inordinate number of Uppie Punks, carloads of them, usually BMWs.

Wart said:

Turns out my generation had an inordinate number of Uppie Punks, carloads of them, usually BMWs.

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That's the trouble with the past, it ain't like it used to be.

I thought we'd all look like Superman now and have flying cars--starting in 1975.

Don't get me wrong, there's enough deep shame to go around. Like many, I'm still rather new to this brave new world of retirement, and I'm reflecting on my own generation.

buzzard767 said:

The consumption and greed has been passed along to the Gen Xers and I doubt it will go away soon unless we go through a massive depression and everyone starts acting like my parents or in many cases, grandparents.

Buzz

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True... but we (gen x... i guess I'm tail end X maybe miss it by a few years) started off with consumption and greed as the premise of our culture.... and for the most part accepted it.... from that point on the "generations y next etc" are pretty much just target markets... greed just was and consumption a virtue.

And maybe that's what's going to happen. My grandfathers were successful but not wealthy. They raised large families fairly simply but certainly not deprived. They retired comfortably, one to his tools one to the golf course. When they died they left their spouses secure. I know they hit a good wave but they also lived very practically. They waited and saved. They did not trade up to bigger fancier houses they drove simple cars, they always lived well below their means. Their expectations were simple. Until recently advertising basically was telling boomers they should be able to retire to a lavish spend fest... those schwab and citi commmercials ARGH.... the younger generations well they were thinking they would not have to work past 35.... now they probably wont find a new job until they are 35.