The Negligee

buzzard767

buzzard767

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On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?'

He looked up from his newspaper and said; 'Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married'

She said, 'Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?'

He nodded and said 'Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.'

She giggled and said; 'That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?'

He looked her up and down and said; 'Mission Accomplished.'
 
PieSusan

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buzzard767 said:
On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?'

He looked up from his newspaper and said; 'Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married'

She said, 'Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?'

He nodded and said 'Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out.'

She giggled and said; 'That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?'

He looked her up and down and said; 'Mission Accomplished.'
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For some reason that caught me off guard.:clap::clap::clap::a1: rotflmao
 
PieSusan

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Domestic Violence is a serious matter which I do not find funny. Ever get a civil protective order for someone and be threatened by their spouse?

What a way to ruin a good joke thread.
 
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buzzard767

buzzard767

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It's all for the sake of humor, Susan. I'm sure no one wants harm and certainly no one condones violence.

Buzz
 
Biskit

Biskit

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Even though I have cracked a joke about it, on occasion, I certainly wouldn't condone it. In fact, I'd prob'ly take steps to prevent it, given the opportunity.
 
PieSusan

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Well, when I did as a young, naive lawyer, I was threatened and told by big, bad, men to stop messin' in their bidness. I am 5' 5/2" tall and weigh 115 pounds. My father was not happy with my desire to change the world in such an up close and personal way for he feared for my safety and I stopped getting protective orders but not before I had saved several friends who were in abusive relationships. I got them out safely and without any bruising or broken bones. Once an abuser always an abuser. Treatment rarely works and this is one instance where keeping the family together is a bad idea for the children's sake. Those kinds of violent patterns are very tough to break even if you want to change. And you don't want children thinking that violence is a way to solve their problems.

It is why corporal punishment doesn't make sense to me. You teach your children that hitting is wrong but you hit them to teach them a lesson. Often, the lesson that they learn besides trying not to get caught next time, is that they hate you. Hating and loving your parent causes a lot of dissonance. You need to have a solid basis of trust with your folks or you will wind up with trust issues when you are older.

Nope, I don't think it is funny at all.
Now, I will get off my soapbox.
I didn't bring up the subject but my silence would have condoned it.
 
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TexasGirl

TexasGirl

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Nothing was meant to make light of abuse.
If my husband said something like that to me, I would probably hit him. That's it, nothing else was meant by it.
I went through 15 years of physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I know what it is like and I know that the guys here are not the kind to take something like that lightly.
 
Keltin

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It really was just a joke. I mean, look at the joke that opens this thread. You don’t just say something like that to your wife (or anyone for that matter), not ever. But it was funny to read the joke, and we knew it was a joke.

But, if we take everything so personal and say I have to speak out against this, that, or the other, then there will be no more jokes.

Little Johnny jokes – bad parenting
Little Mary jokes – ditto
Animal jokes – Animal cruelty
Preacher jokes – Religious intolerance
Irish jokes - Racism
Blonde jokes – feminism, pigeon-holing
Wife jokes – verbal abuse
Husband jokes – very freaking cruel verbal and emotionally traumatic verbal abuse :yum:
 
buzzard767

buzzard767

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What? No more blond jokes? This is the end of the world as we know it. So sad. Oh well, I'll handle it, but don't you dare come up with any cheesehead humor..... LOL
 
PieSusan

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You really don't know me very well. All of you can believe differently from the way I do and you will never change my mind. Domestic Violence is not funny, period!
 
Maverick2272

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Having put myself in harms way to protect several friends from DV, I can tell you I don't take it lightly either. I have been attacked, had my family threatened, and had to make court appearances.
But to crack a job about a woman hittin her hubby upside the head with a frying pan, is just that, a joke. I do not, IMHO, think it constitutes making light of the situation. The frying pan joke has been around longer than I have, as has many other husband/ wife jokes.
However, I also believe that if someone is offended or hurt by a comment made because it strikes to close to home, then we should respect that person and refrain from making jokes that might make them uncomfortable. We want everyone to feel safe and comfortable here, to have fun and enjoy the site.
I will happily refrain from making any comments or jokes of this nature in the future.

This is just my humble opinion, that is all. I am not trying to preach to anyone, and I hope no one thinks that I am.
 
buzzard767

buzzard767

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Maverick2272 said:
However, I also believe that if someone is offended or hurt by a comment made because it strikes to close to home, then we should respect that person and refrain from making jokes that might make them uncomfortable.
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Are you referring to my original joke post? If so, we're right back to DC and I for one can't and won't accept that.

Buzz
 
Keltin

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I was piddling in the yard one day, pulling tree roots from a dead tree stump. I got stuck on one and was pulling my guts out and then WHAM, it broke and came up…..and hit me dead in the face. I ended up with a little shiner (black eye) over that one.

I went to work and everyone asked me what happened. I told them I was talking to DW and she asked me “Does this dress make me look fat”, and I said “No, your face does”. WHAM. Dotted that eye.

It’s funny when you AREN’T Serious about. When you make it serious, it gets nasty. Fart jokes are funny, but you don’t just go around farting in mixed company or public. God, I hope not anyway! :yum:

But in all seriousness, I spent my early years in an abusive home. Biological father was a heavy drinker with an even heavier hand. Mom and the kids were his favorite sport. Many beatings and fights. Nasty stuff. When he was killed in a work accident when I was 7, my only remark to the news was “Can I go finish watching Scooby Doo”.

The serious side of DV is nasty. I’ve never condoned violence against women, and have actually jumped into situations on 2 different occasions in a bar when a guy got heavy handed with his woman.

But, that is serious, and depressing, and pisses me off.

Me joking that my wife gave me a shiner on the other hand is funny…..because we all know that is a joke! :biggrin:

Uh…..it is a joke, right honey? Honey????? :yum:
 
PieSusan

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Mav, I believe in the marketplace of ideas and a free exchange of ideas. I have not censored or asked anyone to be censored. Nor do I feel that I shouldn't have the right to speak my mind.

Anyone is free to add to a thread or not, to skip a thread or a person's you don't care for's comments or to use the program software that removes someone from your view.

That being said, once you share your ideas don't be surprised if someone changes their thoughts about you.

Jokes are great. I love them. I seek them out to help me destress. And yes, there are some taboo subjects--I don't like racist humor. I think if you are going to tell those jokes here you risk turning off new members. I am not telling you that you can't, I believe in free speech and I am not Doc but your joke will speak volumes about you.
 
Maverick2272

Maverick2272

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PieSusan said:
Mav, I believe in the marketplace of ideas and a free exchange of ideas. I have not censored or asked anyone to be censored. Nor do I feel that I shouldn't have the right to speak my mind.

Anyone is free to add to a thread or not, to skip a thread or a person's you don't care for's comments or to use the program software that removes someone from your view.

That being said, once you share your ideas don't be surprised if someone changes their thoughts about you.

Jokes are great. I love them. I seek them out to help me destress. And yes, there are some taboo subjects--I don't like racist humor. I think if you are going to tell those jokes here you risk turning off new members. I am not telling you that you can't, I believe in free speech and I am not Doc but your joke will speak volumes about you.
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There are several things that effect me deeply, but I keep that to myself as I don't wish to impose on anyone. Nor does it effect my opinion of them in any way when they touch on these subjects.
I believe in free speech very venomously, but there is a flip side, the right to keep silent and not speak. The hard part is known when to do which. If I choose to keep silent on a subject out of respect for a member, that is my choice and I am free to exercise it.
I only speak for myself, I do not presume to speak on behalf of others, your opinions are yours and you are entitled to them. I am only stating how I feel and how I will deal with it.
 
Keltin

Keltin

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Miniman said:
And now onto he domestic violence.
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Personally, I believe MM was making a reference/joke to the "And then the fight started" jokes - which I found funny. He's from the UK, and I can readily attest that there is a bit of difference in US and UK English.



But enough. :drama:

I've stirred the pot too much as it is. Personally, my sense of humor finds many things funny, some that are off color, but that is me and I know how to take a joke.

Hey Maverick.....pull my finger!!! :yum:
 
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Maverick2272

Maverick2272

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Keltin said:
Personally, I believe MM was making a reference/joke to the "And then the fight started" jokes - which I found funny. He's from the UK, and I can readily attest that there is a bit of difference in US and UK English.



But enough. :drama:

I've stirred the pot too much as it is. Personally, my since of humor finds many things funny, some that are off color, but that is me and I know how to take a joke.

Hey Maverick.....pull my finger!!! :yum:
Click to expand...

<pull>:yum:

Hey... what's that smell??:puke1:
 
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