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rickismom
12-29-2012, 10:26 PM
I have no one really to talk to about this so please forgive me for unloading. Last month my husband & I found out that our youngest daughter (21 yrs old) was addicted to heroin. For the past 2 years we have found things around the house that came up missing, including all my jewelry (a little at a time). The truth finally came out right after Thanksgiving when I told her that she was not welcome at her Grandmother's house for the holiday because Grandma was afraid that she might steal from her as well.

On 11/26/12 we admitted her to Schick Shadel Hospital in Burien, WA which sees people from all over the country for such addictions. Their state-of-the-art program is none like any other in the country with a 85% sucess rate after 6 months. She was there for 16 days. There were many phone calls from her during detox with threats of leaving, threats to us but after countless prayers and support from us and her friends, she stayed and graduated the program. Not only has she come out clean, she has also (on her own) got rid of the boyfriend that got her into using to begin with. I am so proud of her. We are now in the process of trying to buy back what is left of our possessions that she hocked at the pawn shop in order to get her drug money.

My advice to all of you as parents, if you notice that your child has unusual behavior, wants to sleep all the time, can't keep a job, is irritable and has lost so much weight that their complexion becomes gray & their bones stick out - that's your sign that something is going wrong in their life. My best friend had to bury her son from complications of heroin abuse just last week. He was 26 yrs old. I am blessed to still have her in my life. Let your children know how much you love them.

Ironman
12-29-2012, 11:05 PM
Rickismom, that is great news!

Heroin is the devil - so many kids are being taken so young now... and that's great She is on her way to beating it. More often than not, it doesn't always have a good ending, but it always ends. Getting rid of the boyfriend was a smart move! Hopefully no more triggers. Congrats on helping save a life Mom! :applause:

ChowderMan
12-29-2012, 11:15 PM
unload away - that's what cyber family is about.

I have zero professional qualifications to advise - but we do have one child struggling with alcohol abuse - so perhaps I have a small insight into some of the problems.

that she went to rehab and actually stuck through - despite the hysterics - it is really the best one can hope for. it points to solving the first issue: admitting there is a problem. I'm not sure we are quite that far yet.

do stay in contact with the hospital staff - she will need steadfast support for a number of years to stay clean and fully realize she can make it without the crutch of an addiction. the hospital/other support groups can/will provide _you_ with the tools to stay on top of it and the support for _you_ in dealing with things going forward.

it's not easy. you can buy back the hocked stuff (talk to a lawyer - hocked stolen stuff might not have to be bought back....) but you cannot buy back your daughter's future - that has to be won back in very human terms day by day.

stick with it - and may good fortune go with you!

Doc
12-29-2012, 11:52 PM
unload away - that's what cyber family is about.



Exactly.
So sorry to hear that but congrats for her coming out of all this the way she has. Sounds as if she just needed that helping hand, or push in the right direction. Way to be there for her in her time of need. :tiphat:

Best wishes for everything to keep moving in the right direction. There were drugs around when my kids were growing up but heroin was not around like it is today. Scary stuff for sure. I can't imagine the hell it can cause a family.

jim_slagle
12-30-2012, 12:01 AM
I'm glad things are going in the right direction.

I have no one really to talk to about this so please forgive me for unloading.

I've always felt the members of this forum are more friends than just members. Please keep us updated on her progress.

Jim

Mama
12-30-2012, 12:18 PM
Feel free to "unload" on us anytime.

It's so good to hear from you RM and I am so glad that things are looking up for you, your daughter and your family!

I hear heroine is a hard drug to kick, hopefully with your love and support she'll be able to stay clean and get her life back on track.

Leni
12-30-2012, 02:58 PM
Having worked in the disability field I can tell you that the worst one is tabacco. Talk to us all that you need to. Glad to hear that your daughter is doing well.

Shermie
12-30-2012, 03:06 PM
I have no one really to talk to about this so please forgive me for unloading. Last month my husband & I found out that our youngest daughter (21 yrs old) was addicted to heroin. For the past 2 years we have found things around the house that came up missing, including all my jewelry (a little at a time). The truth finally came out right after Thanksgiving when I told her that she was not welcome at her Grandmother's house for the holiday because Grandma was afraid that she might steal from her as well.

On 11/26/12 we admitted her to Schick Shadel Hospital in Burien, WA which sees people from all over the country for such addictions. Their state-of-the-art program is none like any other in the country with a 85% sucess rate after 6 months. She was there for 16 days. There were many phone calls from her during detox with threats of leaving, threats to us but after countless prayers and support from us and her friends, she stayed and graduated the program. Not only has she come out clean, she has also (on her own) got rid of the boyfriend that got her into using to begin with. I am so proud of her. We are now in the process of trying to buy back what is left of our possessions that she hocked at the pawn shop in order to get her drug money.

My advice to all of you as parents, if you notice that your child has unusual behavior, wants to sleep all the time, can't keep a job, is irritable and has lost so much weight that their complexion becomes gray & their bones stick out - that's your sign that something is going wrong in their life. My best friend had to bury her son from complications of heroin abuse just last week. He was 26 yrs old. I am blessed to still have her in my life. Let your children know how much you love them.



I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's son's passing from drug use, but I'm also happy that you daughter has happily realised the errors of her ways and got the help that she desperately needed!!!

Both you and her are in my prayers, and please keep a watchful eye on her to make sure that she does not go back to her old ways again!!!

Life is so precious, and every day that we are alive on earth, we've got so much to be thankful for!!! ;)

Mama
12-30-2012, 03:36 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's son's passing from drug use, but I'm also happy that you daughter has happily realised the errors of her ways and got the help that she desperately needed!!!

Both you and her are in my prayers, and please keep a watchful eye on her to make sure that she does not go back to her old ways again!!!

Life is so precious, and every day that we are alive on earth, we've got so much to be thankful for!!! ;)

AMEN Shermie, AMEN!

Shermie
12-30-2012, 04:13 PM
AMEN Shermie, AMEN!



Thanx, Mama!! :respect:

Leni
12-30-2012, 05:11 PM
'it's not easy. you can buy back the hocked stuff (talk to a lawyer - hocked stolen stuff might not have to be bought back....) but you cannot buy back your daughter's future - that has to be won back in very human terms day by day.'

The only problem with that is that you probably would have to file a complaint against your daughter with the police. That would not be a good idea because she is still very fragil at this point. Still it's worth checking out.

PanchoHambre
12-31-2012, 08:57 PM
rickismom - I am so sorry to read your post, it hits too close too home this NYE and I know how hard it is to look for somewhere to talk about this. I hope your path from here on is a positive one with your daughter. Without going on about "me" I will just say you are not alone in your pain and worry. It is a scary thing to face but not hopeless. Here's to a better new year for yours and mine.

BamsBBQ
01-01-2013, 05:28 AM
i had to log back on, because i feel for you..i have been through your pain with a brother and his wife. it is not an easy path you are on, it is hell.

my heart and prayers go out to you. this addiction is horrid to say the least.

QSis
01-01-2013, 12:18 PM
RM, thank you for sharing with us. Continued positive energies, thoughts and prayers going to you, your daughter, and your family!

Pancho, we are here for you, too, and anyone else that could use some help and encouragement from our online cooking family members here!

Lee

rickismom
01-01-2013, 08:29 PM
Thank you all so much - your kind words & support mean so much to me! Lee, Pancho & Bams, I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced this as well. It is hell & pray that all of us will be able to endure this pain no longer in 2013! It's one day at a time....

Adillo303
01-01-2013, 09:23 PM
Rickismom. I have meant to post in this thread for a while and life ha gotten the best of my memory lately. I am sorry to hear of this. I went through this with my stepson. It is not easy on anyone involved.

He had similar results and I am hopeful for yoour Daughter. gtting rid of "the source" is a giant step in the right direction.

Thoughts and prayers go out to you ad your daughter and of course, unload on us all you need.

rickismom
01-01-2013, 09:56 PM
Rickismom. I have meant to post in this thread for a while and life ha gotten the best of my memory lately. I am sorry to hear of this. I went through this with my stepson. It is not easy on anyone involved.

He had similar results and I am hopeful for yoour Daughter. gtting rid of "the source" is a giant step in the right direction.

Thoughts and prayers go out to you ad your daughter and of course, unload on us all you need.

Thank you Adillo :heart:

loboloco
01-05-2013, 03:29 PM
Your daughter is going to need a lot of support and watching over the next years. Heroin is one of those addictions that just doesn't go away. the desire will always be there. It will take a lot of character and fortitude to resist.

Shermie
01-05-2013, 04:13 PM
Your daughter is going to need a lot of support and watching over the next years. Heroin is one of those addictions that just doesn't go away. the desire will always be there. It will take a lot of character and fortitude to resist.



It is pretty much like alcolhol addiction and nicotine addiction.

They are all bad for you, but having drinky-drinkys isn't bad for those who only like to drink in moderation. Other than that, if one is seriously addicted to either, then they can create serious problems and illnesses!! :yuk:

rickismom
01-06-2013, 10:38 PM
Every day is a challenge. I don't know which personality I'm going to get, the happy well-adjusted kid, the depressed one who wants nothing to do with anyone or the angry "I hate everything & everyone". It's been hard this week as a friend of hers shot himself in the head last week. Funeral was yesterday. Some people are blaming her because she & he were having a text conversation and she told him he was being "rude" (for whatever reason). That was the day before he chose to end his life. I keep telling her that it was something else, she was not to blame but those others out there like to ridicule her, call her a drug addicted whore etc.... I just don't know what to do...

QSis
01-07-2013, 08:04 AM
Well, RM, the suicide of your daughter's friend, and some blaming HER for that, is going to mean that your daughter needs professional counseling more than ever! This event could be a real setback for her.

You cannot handle her recovery yourself. Do you have professional help?

Lee

Leni
01-07-2013, 03:21 PM
Well, RM, the suicide of your daughter's friend, and some blaming HER for that, is going to mean that your daughter needs professional counseling more than ever! This event could be a real setback for her.

You cannot handle her recovery yourself. Do you have professional help?

Lee

I totally agree. Much as you love her you are ill equiped to handle this alone especially after the death of her friend. Check with the rehab where she was and see if they can offer help or recommend where the two of you can get help. She is much more likely to listen to an impartial person when it comes to the blame for the death of her friend.

I was able to get help for my daughter by calling the Los Angeles Help Line. They referred me to an agency of the city that was able to help.

PanchoHambre
01-07-2013, 10:47 PM
RM I am so sorry to hear your situation, just as your daughter cannot blame herself for he friends actions, tragic as they may be you cannot take on the full weight of your daugters addiction - you can be supportive and loving but you cannot make her want to live clean - that HAS to come from inside her, you are powerless to force it - accepting this lack of power is something very hard - I struggle every day with that and sometimes it keeps me up an night - wondering, second guessing, being angry etc - it is all exhausting and unhealthy - I am getting better but not there yet - i dont have advice but know you are not alone, you are not at fault and you need support as well, dont got it alone.