Excerpt from a cats diary....

I wanted to take a break from posting, but I recieved this im my email this AM and felt I had to share it. This is "so" our cats, and I'm sure many of yours as well.


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...
Day 983 of my captivity....
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

LOL! Thanks for sharing that, sk!

Actually, your signature made me laugh even harder! LOL! We are twisted!

Lee

That's a well thought out joke. Very clever and funny. Thanks

Awwww, poor kitty, the indignity of it all. Next day he will have to talk about suffering all the scritchies, back and tummy rubs. The lack of sleep--only 18 hours a day. The stupid toys he is lavished and how they are trying to get him addicted to the nip. He tries to fight it but he is powerless.

I squished one of my kitties in the front door this morning. I was looking out to see how much snow we got, and he got between the front door and the screen door. I started to close the front door, and it caught. Thinking it just stopped at the jamb I pushed harder. That's when I felt a tail whipping and little paws scrambling and realized what was going on.

He didn't scream, and he wasn't acting strangely, so I'm sure he's ok...

RobsanX said:

I squished one of my kitties in the front door this morning. I was looking out to see how much snow we got, and he got between the front door and the screen door. I started to close the front door, and it caught. Thinking it just stopped at the jamb I pushed harder. That's when I felt a tail whipping and little paws scrambling and realized what was going on.

He didn't scream, and he wasn't acting strangely, so I'm sure he's ok...

Click to expand...

I've done that more than once myself. I wonder how I haven't decapitated mine before now.

Barb

It's been warm for a couple of days.

One of the cats got out last night.

I didn't know why he returned. He was free.

Then it became apparent, he was trying to strike fear into our hearts by bringing a creature into the house, hoping we would see his, his brother and sisters true nature.

He was trying to win release of himself and his siblings.

Then he dropped the creature from his mouth and he showed his true deviousness.

The creature ran off and hid .... The cat is now bringing living small creatures INTO the house to terrorize US! Last seen the invader was in the basement.

All three cats lay on the couch as though nothing has happened.

But it has.

We had a field mousie in the housie once when Patches and Pippin were living. Unfortunately, as they were declawed because I am allergic, it became harder for them to catch mice. Also, they were spoiled and fed well. So, when mousie appeared and moved around, they became interested. When mousie hid, eh--wow bother. Pippin was naive and had always been a housecat as he was born here. Pippin thought mousie was a toy. Mousie bit Pippin on the nosey. Poor Pippin! Eventually, I found dead mousie in a closet--scared to death and petrified. Needless to say, I was not amused and had the task of ridding it from the house.

I has another mousie in the housie story. I will save it for another day. lol

I love the kitty stories!!

First...I did not approve any breaks in posting for you...and it would sadden me greatly. So...you'll just have to keep on keeping on...

Being a cat owner of 4 weeks now, I clearly get the diary thing. Max seems to have a different point of view. Everything I have, every room, every piece of furniture is pretty much hers now. We've all taken to accommodating her now.

You have to picture this.... It's Valentine's evening and Lou and I have some time between cocktail hour and the first course which we decided to use to our advantage. Max has usurped the foot of my bed. Lou picked her up and carried her down stairs and suggested she might prefer the sofa for a while. He returned to the bed and we ....ah...ahem..... well, several moments later I attempted to move on the bed. As I reached behind me to help this ah..ahem, relocation my had hit fur. Max apparently would not be put out and returned to the bed. Lou and I did not notice her return and were when we discovered her there, watching silently. No point in trying to put her out again...so we left her where she was. She did eventually find another spot because she wasn't there when ah, when....

Ying / Yang seems to be popular here SO..........

Excerpts from a Dog's diary:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Vera - Old saying - Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Best of the day - AC

VeraBlue said:

You have to picture this.... It's Valentine's evening and Lou and I have some time between cocktail hour and the first course which we decided to use to our advantage. Max has usurped the foot of my bed. Lou picked her up and carried her down stairs and suggested she might prefer the sofa for a while. He returned to the bed and we ....ah...ahem..... well, several moments later I attempted to move on the bed. As I reached behind me to help this ah..ahem, relocation my had hit fur. Max apparently would not be put out and returned to the bed. Lou and I did not notice her return and were when we discovered her there, watching silently. No point in trying to put her out again...so we left her where she was. She did eventually find another spot because she wasn't there when ah, when....

Click to expand...

I recommend you call this time appetizer time as a substitute for the ah..ahem and the oh my god moments.

So Maxi is into three ways. At least all she did was watch. It is not as if she jumped into the thick of things.

That is so cute Bob!!! That does sound like a cat's thinking!

smoke king said:

I wanted to take a break from posting.

Click to expand...

I often feel much the same. Do you feel we should start a separate thread in the appropriate section?

NO breaks allowed!! LOL.

Funny cat story!