Cuisinette
Member
I am going through a lot of and mixed emotions right now.
I don't cope well with death, I think this is much related with my past.
In November, a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and was going through the treatment process and rehab at an assisting living center. I have visited her periodically in the first months... but then I told her I will be out of town most of the time and she understood.
Until the end she did sacrifice to let me know she is doing OK, so I don't have to worry, when in fact she was getting worst.
No one told me anything and last time I talked with her on the phone she said "don't worry about me, I am doing fine".
Today morning, her son finally bothered to let me know she is back in the hospital, had no idea in which room she was or her condition for that matter.
I got to her room expecting to see her smile, but instead I found a frail shadow of herself, non-responsive. I stood by her side and talked to her as we used to talk very often in the past.
Her nurse came in and advised me, it's time to say goodbye. She is on morphine and not much time left.
I leaned over and asked if she can hear my voice and recognizes me and she shook her head, then I told her I love her very much and no matter where she will be we will keep on talking, I saw a faint smile on her lips. She raised her hand to her mouth as if that could help her talk and said "hug", as much as I could hold her frail body I gave her a last hug, I leaned over again and asked her not to fight, let it go, it's OK.
She whispered "I am not fighting" before she faded away into unconsciousness.
I am shocked to find out that her son had not talked to her oncologist, in fact they were looking to get in contact with him. They had no idea whether they should keep her there or send her back to the rehab.
I had to locate him, pass the phone to the nurse to talk to him.
When I told him the doctor needs to talk to him tomorrow morning he replied "I can't, I have to go to work".
I wish I had a switch to turn her son OFF
I don't cope well with death, I think this is much related with my past.
In November, a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with breast cancer and was going through the treatment process and rehab at an assisting living center. I have visited her periodically in the first months... but then I told her I will be out of town most of the time and she understood.
Until the end she did sacrifice to let me know she is doing OK, so I don't have to worry, when in fact she was getting worst.
No one told me anything and last time I talked with her on the phone she said "don't worry about me, I am doing fine".
Today morning, her son finally bothered to let me know she is back in the hospital, had no idea in which room she was or her condition for that matter.
I got to her room expecting to see her smile, but instead I found a frail shadow of herself, non-responsive. I stood by her side and talked to her as we used to talk very often in the past.
Her nurse came in and advised me, it's time to say goodbye. She is on morphine and not much time left.
I leaned over and asked if she can hear my voice and recognizes me and she shook her head, then I told her I love her very much and no matter where she will be we will keep on talking, I saw a faint smile on her lips. She raised her hand to her mouth as if that could help her talk and said "hug", as much as I could hold her frail body I gave her a last hug, I leaned over again and asked her not to fight, let it go, it's OK.
She whispered "I am not fighting" before she faded away into unconsciousness.
I am shocked to find out that her son had not talked to her oncologist, in fact they were looking to get in contact with him. They had no idea whether they should keep her there or send her back to the rehab.
I had to locate him, pass the phone to the nurse to talk to him.
When I told him the doctor needs to talk to him tomorrow morning he replied "I can't, I have to go to work".
I wish I had a switch to turn her son OFF