Sharing Uncle Ralph's PMs

I PM'd Uncle Ralph, telling him that several members were concerned about a post where he sounded very down.

He answered me, and gave me permission to share his PMs with the forum members. I know we can help him - we're really good at it!

Here's what he said:

Yeah, I have about nine months for my body to start cooperating with treatment for ongoing health crap-o-la, then I get on a list for a lung transplant. My cancer scare is under control, but I have chronic pulmonary sarcoidosis, and am really having a tough go of it. It has let to pulmonary fibrosis, and have lost 34% of mu lung capacity. On a crap load of steroids, and other meds in hopes of stopping it, but after now a year, there has been no significant improvement. May not actually be my last season, but it sure is feeling like it. Just was a little down last night, and that I guess is the extent of my venting, even though I am pissed off and just frustrated. . .very frustrated. Gotta try and stay up though, that is the biggest part of the battle.

I need to come around these boards more too, a LOT of familiar faces!!

I love you guys and gals, and wish that I had more interaction over here, but as MUCH as I LOVE food, doing it for 12-16hours a day, I just don't come home as much and wanna rap about it, but I do love the good amount of off topic stuff that has been created here.

I do need to say that I apologize, and after re-reading my OP in the thread, I didn't mean to come across as a buzz kill or as so morose. If it wasn't quoted, I would edit some stuff out, but alas, too late.

I certainly welcome all natures of positive vibes/energy/feng shui/karma/prayers/thoughts/anything. I can use it. There is a HUGE power in mind over matter and the power of positive thinking, anything I can rally up in my corner I will do so appreciatively, and thankfully!!

Thanks for taking the time to reach out to me, it's such a simple gesture, and I hope you know that it means a lot to me.

In all honesty, I have NOT given up by any means, but I was feeling like I was a little defeated last night. I am sorry to have caused concern or to have been a curmudgeon.

Jono

What a really great guy he is.

I know that we can help too.

I understand what he is talking about with doing food 12 - 16 hours a day, he is an executive chef at (I think) a law firm in WADC. He had a motor scooter discussion with Derek.

All the thoughts/strength/karma I can send are coming your way. You know were always here, whether you want to be lighthearted or serious.

BTW, I was looking at your flickr photos yesterday, you are fantastic! I'd love to see more of your work posted. It's inspirational for those of us who attempt displaying & photographing food.

there's not much to say, but only prayers to god for jon's full recovery. he really is a great guy.

i'll be saying a decade of the rosary today on my way home, man, and will include you in petitions on sunday. us irishman have a direct line to god, don't ya know.

Sorry to hear all that Jon. It has to be an overwhelming load, so tough to deal with 24 hours a day I'm sure. I don't know you from DC but I've enjoyed your posts since you did come on the scene here. I wish you the best and will send out good thoughts and prayers for you're recovery and generally getting better.
Like the others I do think we can help, and will be happy to do what we can. I enjoy the off topic chatter here also. Glad to hear that you do to.
Merry Christmas my friend.
Here is a little xmas card for you and our entire NCT family.

Doc's Xmas card to you!

Hugs to you.

Come to New Orleans!! I'll take you on the wild side!

You'll be in my thoughts, UR. Wishing you a full recovery!

get well; we luv 'ya!

Get well is all I can say as I'm can understand what you are going through myself.

Prayers and healing energy being sent you way. Those are very challenging health issues. Keep your spirits up--it made all the difference in the world with my father. Hugs, Pie Susan

I'll be sending up a special prayer for you UR.

Uncle Ralph seems to be quite the cool fella.
Here is a wish for healing, strength and courage.
I'll add you to the ever growing list of people who need prayer and big love.

Prayers to you Uncle Ralph.

You are in my thoughts and prayers and I will light a candle for you! XOXOXOXOXO

Hang in there, Jon. Here's a big virtual hug. Come in & hang out when you're up to it. We're a click away.

Hey all. I really would like to just say thanks. Thanks to all that took time out to spread the well wishes, and I am so sorry to cause any hubbub about the original post. I really, REALLY try to stay positive, I am a FIRM believer that I am only a victim if I admit defeat, but I also need to say sometimes, I get tired of saying "everything is just fine". A very difficult balancing act.

For those that son't know, my name over on DC was TATTRAT. I was an active member, a mod at one point, and unfortunately, just kinda fizzled out. It has nothing to do with the fine folks over there, but I needed a bit of a more, lets say LESS than pg place to vent from time to time, and not only that, not talk about food(food is still my life/love/job/craft/profession/livelihood), and though there are venues for such, it just isn't. . .hrmmm, well, it just isn't something(I can't quite put my finger on it). I have had the pleasure to meet and greet, even have over for dinner, quite a few of the fine folks from over there, and wouldn't change a thing. I guess though, I have migrated away from a LOT of my online forums/time killers, but am grateful to have been here, lurked more than participated, but it is AWESOME to see so many firmiliar faces and get kinda caught up with you all.

For the health crap, it is what it is...I have been dealt this hand, and hopefully wit the help of modern medicine, I will be better one day. For me the hardest part is still just wrapping my head around it all. I had never been "sick" a day in my life, sans a spell about 9 years ago that had docs stumped, I got fed up with the referral game and said screw it. All of this is still very surreal to me and though I know it's now MY battle, I just can't quite seem to accept it. I am a young(in my 30's)dude, am NOT used to being slowed down by anything, and HATE that I physically can not do what my brain says makes sense, but body says "Ohhh no you're not buddy"

The cancer aspect of my fight is kind of under control. I have non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, been fought off with 9 chemo sessions over 18 weeks(no fun), and a disease known as sarcoidosis. The docs have put me in the chronic category, I am pissed. I thought through my time living in Hawaii and surfing everyday that I was just more out of shape the I thought I was. I knew that I never really had my own personal health high on the agenda because I always worked for myself(owned restaurants)and well, was never sick. Apparently this allowed more then enough time for my conditions to compound, and well, land me in the hospital for basically a month. Now, for the sarcoid, it's too late. There is nothing that can be done but a crap load of roids, and hope for the best. I had surgery to remove all the lymph nodes from my chest, but now, the ones in my groin and arm pits are the size of golf balls. I will remain on 13 meds, and being back up at 80mg of prednisone for lord knows how long. . .I was recently diagnosed with the compounded with the issue of pulmonary fibrosis. I am down 34% of lung capacity, gone but not forgotten.

Enough about all of the novel, it is what it is. I am sorry for such a negative post on my part. I am grateful for all I have, my friends, and family, my E-FRIENDS, and E-FAMILY, and I can not thank you enough for the support. I put on a strong front for my work, and family, and find it hard to be emotionally honest sometimes. It is hard to convey to people that I feel like poo, my skin hurts, I can't breath, I am hacking up blood, don't sleep more then 2 or 3 hours at a time(for over a year now, thanks roids), and am just pretty tired mentally/physically, and am SICK of the "well you don't look sick" shtick. I get tired of having to push to do what was once just common stuff. I can't pull 6, 18hour days anymore, I really feel like it WOULD kill me.

Good lord, I am rambling.

ANYWHO, I know that it could be worse. Every time I see a St.Judes commercial, or a wounded warrior project clip, I get choked up. I have SO much to be grateful for that I really feel like a loser when I do take the time to complain. I have no room to bitch/gripe, I guess it may be just part of human nature? More than anything, I am just frustrated to all s**t, He$$, F&*k, D(*n, and am ready to get this all behind me.

Thanks to you all for such kind words, and allowing me to vent. I really, REALLY appreciate it, and for something so simple, it makes a world of difference.

Happy holidays to all, take a second to really reflect and appreciate those you love, and that love you. Every day is a gift, nothing has been promised to anyone, so make the most of it. We only go around this rock once. Live, love, and EAT WELL!!!

Jono

First of all, UR, thanks for trusting all of us enough to share your situation with us. I am so sorry that you are in such pain. I do know how debilitating it is , and how hard it is to find joy in life when your body is turning on you. None of us can walk in your footsteps, but please know that there are many people here who care about you and that you are not alone.

Uncle Ralph,

I had a chance to have a beer with you when I did a job in Ashburn. I missed the chance due to a really crazy work schedule and have always regretted it.

You are a role model to many who would complain about much less. Thank you for sharing.

Andy

Wow, what a post Jono! So honest. It's refreshing and helps give more insight into your ordeal. I feel for you my friend and I'm proud that you are part of Net Cooking Talk. Please, give us a chance to cheer you up when your down, and share in your victories in your battle. We are indeed a forum family and I hope our prayers and good thoughts can help you out in some little way. Best wishes Jono!!!!!!

Adillo303 said:

Uncle Ralph,

I had a chance to have a beer with you when I did a job in Ashburn. I missed the chance due to a really crazy work schedule and have always regretted it.

You are a role model to many who would complain about much less. Thank you for sharing.

Andy

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jono, maybe I can take Andy's place sometime.

I am in western Loudoun County so it's not that far a drive, maybe meet you half way sometime?

Jim

jim_slagle said:

jono, maybe I can take Andy's place sometime.

I am in western Loudoun County so it's not that far a drive, maybe meet you half way sometime?

Jim

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I am so sorry to bump this, but am also so grateful fro such an amazingly supportive, and warming response.

Jim, I didn't realize that you aren't really all that far off. I drove through LC and it rang a bell, but I wasn't quite 100% as to why, NOW I remember, lol.

Lemme know, I am certainly down for a meet nd greet. Hell, we can document it and have a fun thread here of our own!

Let me know, either via thread or PM



for related subject matter: I am waiting to see my pulomonoligist to HOPEFULLY get on a better course of action. My oncologist is optimistic(though I would expect nothing less)and my "numbers" are still "ok". . .the drugs are the big thing, and they still make me feel more like poo then WHOO, we'll see.

2011, I hope you treat me better! I am not sure I can do another year of this crap-o-la. And I hate to sound like a negative Nancy(sorry Nancy), because I KNOW thee are a LOT more people with things FAR WORSE then what I am dealing with, and my heart goes out to them. I just need a vent sometimes, and well, forum access is a LOT cheaper the $160/hr, lol, and as strange as it may seem, I feel I "know" some of y'all, so it is better then ranting to a stranger.

I have always been against a "shrink", If I cant solve my own problems, then how can someone else, BUT, I do feel better after these periodical vents.

OK, that's enough, thanks all!!!!!!!

great you're on here again! fare well, i said a prayer 4 'ya~
luv/hugs

thanks, Luvs! I appreciate it!

XOXOXOXOXO

Uncle Ralph,

I am glad to see you posting too. We are all here for you. For the trauma that I have been through (admitedly less than yours) I have always found my friends better than a stranger.

keep on keeping on.

Hi, you. Good to see you posting here. Sorry I didn't get to know you better (at the other place). Did miss your posts though. Didn't make the "connection" until I looked at your avatar ;-) & saw the flicker link. Again, hang in there. It's never good to be sick & be alone/isolate. Perhaps there's a support group you can go to, as well. As I recall, last I heard, Iron Chef was starting a job in Hawaii, & enjoyed surfing. Have you two hooked up, or heard from him? All my best, Jon.