Lefty
Yank
Every body who has a dog calls him Rover or Boy. I call mine Sex. He's a
great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would
like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then I said, "But
this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,
"You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and
said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I
told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and a special room for
Sex.
He said, " You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill
we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand.
Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny---I have the same
problem."
On day, I entereded Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there,
looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over
the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separeated we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The Judge
said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said that's not
unusual. It happens to a lot of people.
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4
o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case
comes up Friday.
great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would
like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one, too!" Then I said, "But
this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said,
"You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and
said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I
told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and a special room for
Sex.
He said, " You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill
we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand.
Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny---I have the same
problem."
On day, I entereded Sex in a contest, but before the competition began,
the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there,
looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I
said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over
the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separeated we went to court to fight for custody of
the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The Judge
said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said that's not
unusual. It happens to a lot of people.
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for
him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4
o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. My case
comes up Friday.
