Please say a prayer for my Dad.

[buckytom]

my dad had a minor stroke yesterday, and i'm waiting this morning to find out the results of some tests. so far, all we know is that he's blind.

actually, he had the stroke a few days ago, but he just toughed out the headaches until he couldn't take it anymore, and then finally lost his sight.

thanks for any prayers or good energy you can send his way. he's been a great dad and my hero for all of my life.

[Lefty]

Consider it done.

[Keltin]

I'm so very sorry BT. You have all our thoughts and prayers.

[mhend]

Praying for you and your dad.

[SilverSage]

BT, I'm sorry to hear this. Your faith will help you and your family throught he challenges ahead.

I'm adding my good thoughts to the others.

[Sass Muffin]

You betcha Tom.
hugs

[Doc]

You got it Tom. Good thoughts and prayers on the way.
Us guys can be to dang hard headed when we should go for professional help. I hope they can help your dad recover quickly.
Does he live close by?
My dad lived 2 hours away when he had a stroke, but I was in San Francisco that week on a work trip. That was the hardest to be so far away and have to hear the progress over the phone.
Best wishes buddy!

[buckytom]

thnaks very much everyone. still no news yet. :sad:

doc, that must have been tough because of the helplessness.

my dad's about an hour and a half away, down the jersey shore. ok, that's 3 hours or more on fridays and sundays, but 90 minutes the rest of the week.

fortunately, i have 2 weeks of vacation coming up, then 2 weeks of midnight shifts in august, so i'll be available to do whatever is needed.

thanks again, everyone.

[QSis]

Tom, I'm sending all kinds of positve and healing thoughts to your dad and to you!

I have a good feeling about this! Feels like he's going be okay!

Lee

[Ronjohn]

Done and done, my friend. Prayers and good thoughts heading your way.

[Cooksie]

I hate to hear this. Hoping that you get some good news very soon.

[GotGarlic]

I'm so sorry, Bucky. I hope he recovers quickly.

[goatherder]

prayers, good vibes, and healing thoughts being sent for you and your family

[Meme4251]

So sorry to hear about your dad, BT...:sad:Do keep us posted on how he is doing....Many prayers coming your way for all of you....Meme/sh

[Biskit]

Pullin' and prayin' for your dad, Bucky, and your family as you deal with this.

My PM box is always open.

[UnConundrum]

Best wishes on their way...

[buckytom]

once again, my heartfelt thanks to everyone.

still no news yet. we're awaiting results of last night's mra to see where the blockage is in his brain.

[Mama]

I'm so sorry BT. I'll be sure to say a special prayer for him.

[Miniman]

Thinking of you all.

[CaliforniaCook]

Sending positive thoughts your way. This is a sensitive/sore topic for me. I get choked up remembering my father's circumstances. Tears still come to my eyes. I don't want to come across as negative, but there is a point to this story. My family/folks were 3000 miles away. According to my stepmother, my father survived the first stroke, but not the second. He was only in his 70s. "It happened very quickly, & they removed half of his brain." She was beyond hysterical, I couldn't differentiate between the facts & her emotional state. Noone called me until after the fact. If I had been closer (geographically), I would have been at the hospital, not receiving the news via phone, or making phone calls. I lost my brother almost the same way - except I was on a plane to NY as soon as I heard, & was the last person to see him before he passed. The point... Try to see him, even if it's a few hours away. Of course, we always hope/pray for the best, but you never know.

[buckytom]

thanks mini, mama, and cc.

cc, i completely understand and have been ready to drive down there on a minutes notice. but right now, my mom asked that we just let my brother, the eldest in my family, handle things. i kinda freaked out my sil (his wife, i have only 1 bro), the other day. she tends to turn all conversations into something about her, so after listening to stories about her dad, and how old men just refuse to lift their feet, or use a cane or walker, and so on and so on about her opinions, i got angry when she finally got around to explaining how my dad had to spend the first night on a stretcher in the hallway, and wasn't seen by a doctor for almost 24hours.

well, i know my family, and they would patiently wait their time in mile long lines (behind people who are obviously abusing the system) because it's just right to follow the rules.

i angrily explained that sometimes you have to become a pushy pain in the ass to get what you need, screw everyone who's there because it's how they get to spend the night getting free aspirin, free food, and a clean, air conditioned bed. (before you get on me about this, understand that i have a friends who are emt's and ambulance dispatchers in newark, and they say it's unbelievable and disgusting how people abuse free healthcare. but that's another thread.)

i hope this isn't a glimpse into things that may come in the future,

anyway, still no news. i couldn't reach my sisters last night, so i'm going to try again in a little while. if there's any bad news at all, i'll be on my way down tonight.

if my parents are home, i'll go on moday afternoon.

keep your fingers crossed.
oh, and thanks.

[TexasGirl]

My prayers are with you and your dad BT!!! Big hugs!!!

[smoke king]

Sorry I'm just seeing this now BT. Thoughts and prayers going out to your dad and your entire family.

[MexicoKaren]

Sending positive energies your way, BT. I'm sorry that things are so complicated by family relationships, but it seems that there is no avoiding that sometimes. Hope you can get there and inject some clear-minded sanity into what's going on - I'm sure you won't rest until you have seen for yourself what is happening. I'll be thinking of you this weekend as you do what you have to do.

[Deelady]

Please keep us updated BT. Contant prayers and good thought being sent!

[buckytom]

thanks tg, sk, karen, and dee.

well, i finally spoke to my mom on a brief respite from the hospital. he'll be going home on monday if they can get his blood pressure under control.

i'm gonna call the hospital tomorrow to speak to his docs to make sure the three docs (gp, neurologist, cardiologist) are coordinating the drugs they are changing him to. dw went through hell every few years with her mom regarding medicines, catching mistakes a few times that would have killed her. she was even released from the hospital with severe sepsis that a doc signed off on, so i've learned you have to watch overworked hospital caregivers like a hawk.

he has gotten some sight back in one eye, but is blind in the other from a retinal occlusion. unfortunately, it means he'll never drive again, but hopefully he'l get enough sight back to be able to read.

on the bright side, it wasn't such a severe stroke that he'll require any kind of physical therapy. he's not out of the woods yet, but at least things are stable for now.

again, my thanks to all who've posted with good thoughts and well wishes.

[PieSusan]

I just saw this Tom. I am so sorry to read about your dad. I hope things turn out well in the end. You have my good thoughts and prayers. Hang in there!

[Meme4251]

BT, so glad to hear your dad is doing somewhat better and the stroke wasn't as severe as it could have been....I'm always glad to hear some positive considering what he went thru....Thinking and saying my decade of rosary each and every night w/him on my prayer list....Best to you and your family...:flowers:

[Fisher's Mom]

Oh, Tom, I am so glad to hear that your dad is coming home, but heartbroken to hear this scary thing has happened. I will pray that enough of his vision is restored that he can go back to his normal life. (I'm so glad he hasn't suffered other physical impairment.)

You are so right about hospitals. I am grateful for good medical care, but a hospital is a dangerous place for sick people, if you know what I mean. I will pray for your dad and your mom and the rest of your family everyday. Please update us whenever you have news.

[Sass Muffin]

on the bright side, it wasn't such a severe stroke that he'll require any kind of physical therapy. he's not out of the woods yet, but at least things are stable for now.



:thumb:.. that IS good news.

[buckytom]

thanks susan, meme, f-mom, and sass.

i just wrote this to f-mom, so i'm just copying it here out of laziness. :whistling:

my dad is stable, but still not home. he's completely blind in one eye, and has only 30% sight left in the other, which is making him very depressed as he is an avid reader. we don't know if blood vessels in his brain will redirect, or other brain cells take over to give him back some sight yet.

fortunately, my eldest sister carol stepped in and took over the lead. she's a recently retired high school teacher, so she has a great way about her that gets distracted people to focus, all while putting up with zero crapola from idiots.
as soon as i spoke to her, i knew my dad was in good hands. i love my bro, but he's too nice of a person to deal with this.

carol actually stalked the doctor from the parking lot and through the hospital just to get him to more quickly see my dad and answer our family's questions.
she wrote down everything the doctor's said in a notepad just in case anyone else had questions, or if we wanted to do our own research. in fact, at one point a doc grabbed the notepad and drew a bunch of diagrams describing some of the conditions that are affecting dad.

hopefully, we'll know more tomorrow. dad's blood pressure is all over the place, so it's still a worry to the docs.

carol went back to the hospital today with cookies and candies: bribery for the nursing staff. she's gonna find out what kind of diet and other care my dad will need once he gets home. i'm hoping to cook a bunch of freezer meals within those guidelines so mom can catch a break as well.

i'm going to see my parents on thursday, and my siblings and i are beggining to work out schedules so that they will have someone visiting at least every other day in case there's anything they need. i'll probably take mondays.

thanks again for everyone's continued support and good vibes.

[Sass Muffin]

dad's blood pressure is all over the place, so it's still a worry to the docs.

carol went back to the hospital today with cookies and candies: bribery for the nursing staff. she's gonna find out what kind of diet and other care my dad will need once he gets home. i'm hoping to cook a bunch of freezer meals within those guidelines so mom can catch a break as well.

i'm going to see my parents on thursday, and my siblings and i are beggining to work out schedules so that they will have someone visiting at least every other day in case there's anything they need. i'll probably take mondays.

thanks again for everyone's continued support and good vibes.

Tom, I'd hope they'd have his meds all sorted out upon discharge to get his b/p under control.
They will most certainly have a recommended diet for him to follow, as well.

Good on you all for taking shifts to look out for Mama and Daddy. :a1:

[Fisher's Mom]

You are a good son, BT, and I know your help will make your dad's recovery much smoother. I'm impressed that you and your sibs can all work together to help your folks. Y'all must have been raised right.

I'm going to share my best "mom" home remedies with you. (Don't laugh.) I am a firm believer in warm baths, clean sheets, and massage. The warm baths and clean sheets probably just make you feel nice, but that's worth something. Massage is a healer, IMO. Human touch lowers blood pressure. (OK - not that kind of touch. LOL) Heck, even stroking animals lowers blood pressure. The point is that skin contact can heal. You can give him a scalp massage or a hand or foot massage while you visit and the results can be amazing. A good back massage requires a little more planning, but I'll bet he would love it.

Anyway, keep us posted when you have news and we will keep praying for your dad.

[Miniman]

Thanks for the update, keeping you in my thoughts

[buckytom]

thanks, mini.

a quick update: dad's still in the hospital; will probably be there through the weekend. no improvement on the blood pressure, nor his sight.

the worry now is my mom. she's not really eating because she doesn't like to eat out often. being in the hospital all day doesn't help with that situation. she's just used to home cooked food after 83 years of it.

i've spoken with my brother about cooking some things for her so she'll have something every night when she gets home. i'll be making chicken soup tonight, and if i can stay awake, turkey meatballs in sauce. if not, i'll get up early before i go to the hospital tomorrow and make it.

excuse the pun, but i'm not going to follow a recipe for the chicken soup: just gonna wing it. :glare:

whole carrots, celery, onion with the skin on, chicken with the skin mostly removed. boiled, skimmed, then everything taken out and the chicken bones and extraneous parts removed. finally, the veggies and chicken meat added back in, seasoning adjusted, and fresh parsley near the end. i don't think mom likes garlic much, so i'll just skip it.

is there anything i'm missing? my brain is a bit of a scramble right now.

anyway, your continued prayers and well wishes would be greatly appreciated, but not that you have to post them here every time. i just need to get this off my chest here and there.

wish me luck, and mom and dad better health.

[MexicoKaren]

You're a good son, BT. I'm sure this is very difficult for your Mom. She's scared and she's tired, and she is an unfamiliar setting - conditions that don't contribute to an appetite for any food. Chicken soup sounds good. To add some carbs, maybe some rice or noodles. Thanks for keeping us updated. Take care of yourself, as well - OK?

[Cooksie]

Your "wing it" chicken soup sounds good to me. I always use the leafy part of the celery too, but whatever you put in there, I'm sure Mom will enjoy and appreciate. I'm hoping that Mom and Dad get better very soon.

[QSis]

You are a GREAT son, BT!

I was thinking the same as Karen - some ditalini would be nice in there. Or just cook some noodles and put them in a separate container (so they don't get mushy). Your mom can add them when she heats up the soup.

I like barley, since it never gets mushy (and I just love it anyway), but it takes forever to cook, and you sound tired enough as it is.

Strength and positivity to all of you!!

Lee

[GotGarlic]

I've been out of town for several days (still am in fact), so I haven't been keeping up, but I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your family, BT. Hospital patients definitely need an advocate with them - it's great that your sister is available to do that.

I hope your dad's sight improves. Do you think he'd like books on tape? It might be something to take his mind off things and help pass the time.

Take care.

[MexicoKaren]

GG has a good idea - about half the books I read come from http://audible.com (http://audible.com/). I listen on my iPod while I do housework, cook, paint. They have newest releases - they are a division of Amazon. Maybe this would be an option for him. Thinking about you and yours, BT.

[rickismom]

I just found out about this BT, I"m sorry I didn't see it sooner :(
Your Dad is in the best of care, better off being in the hospital and monitored. Plenty of tomato juice/V8, banana's will also help the BP to lower. As for your mom, all the love and chicken soup she can get will be good for her right now. My mother didn't eat for the first year after my dad passed so I know what a challenge and worry that can be. Maybe treat her to a milkshake date at the local diner or ice cream shop might lift her spirits and yours as well.
My prayers are with all of you. Have faith my friend (((hugs))) - S

[Fisher's Mom]

Awww, BT, I love that you are cooking for your mom. You are right to worry over her, because moms never worry over themselves. Please tell her that the moms of NCT are praying for her along with your dad.

[buckytom]

thanks f-mom, r-mom :smile:, karen, gg, cooksie, and qsis.

great news yesterday. it was unexpected, but the hospital released my dad in the late afternoon since they finally figured out how to balance his meds so his heart rate would stabilize.

i was able to bring my dad home after taking him to the medical supply place near them for a bp monitor and a cane. he was so relieved to be "out of that damned hell hole" (dad's words).

he was in much better spirits as soon as he got into his archie bunker chair in front of the idiot box :smile:, and was even happier when he realized that his eyesight was back just enough to be able to read. not well as he has blind spots that cause many letters to be missing in sentences, but it's good enough for now.

i even convinced him that he needs a bigger hd tv set that it would be easier to see and read the on-air graphics, so i spoke with a few siblings to see if they're interested in chipping in.

then it was time to go over the meds, which were a mess. i got a write up from the nurse detailing the what, how much, and when of his myriad of medicines. some he had to stop, other new ones to start taking, and some now twice a day at lower doses.

unfortunately, some of the meds had different names than were listed, which took me a while to cross reference. one he's taking isn't on the list, and another on the list he doesn't have, so my bro was going back down today to straighten out the last few details with the docs.

but YAY!!! dad's home!

i can't thank everyone enough for their support. you're all the best.

btw, the soup turned out great. my best chicken soup yet. i made the small size "no-yolk" cholesterol free noodles, then poured the soup over them. it had good, strong chicken and veggie flavour, deep yellow colour, and thick "mouth feel" without having to add much salt or leave in much fat.

the meatballs turned out pretty good as well, using 2 1/2 lbs. of 93/7 ground turkey, 5 jumbo eggwhites, seasoned breadcrumbs, dried parsley, grated grana padano cheese, and a cup of milk. unfortunately, i burned a few, but the sauce (cento san marzano tomatoes, toasted garlic and sweet onions, red bell pepper, evoo, and fresh basil) was really good and hid the "crustier" parts.

i also brought mom some of the smoked turkey legs that i made the other day. dad couldn't wait to dig into those.


once again, my heartfelt thanks to all for your positive energies and prayers.

66 years ago this month he was fighting through france after storming normandy to save the world from nazis. 50 years ago he was fighting fires in hook and ladder company #4 in brooklyn to save people here at home. i hope he gets to live as long and as comfortably as he wants to because he certainly deserves it. like i said, he's alwyas been a hero to me.

[Fisher's Mom]

WooHoo!! Best news ever, BT! And I am so glad at least some of his vision has returned. Will keep praying for further improvement.

So true about the TV. I got mom a 36" TV right after my dad died to replace the 19" one they had. She complained to high heaven that she didn't need a new TV, but within a week, it was her new best friend. Earlier this year, we all chipped in and got her a big, HDTV as her vision had gotten a little worse and she didn't complain at all. LOL In fact, we all knew not to call between 7 and 10 pm because she was watching her shows.

Check passwird.com throughout the day for deals on TVs. Last week I found a 42", 1080p HDTV for my daughter for $500 shipped. She loves it! It's definitely worth checking.

[Fisher's Mom]

Meds are a whole different ball of wax. I created a check sheet for mom's that I kept in the box with her meds. It's much easier than trying to remember what you took and when.

[buzzard767]

Your Dad's improvement in health and being home is a blessing. Take good care of your Mom as she is going through one of the worst times of her life. I'm thinking of all of you and praying for the best.

[MexicoKaren]

Oh BT, your admiration, love and respect for your wonderful dad brought tears to my eyes. He is obviously a fine man who raised a fine son. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[QSis]

Fantastic news!!! I like to think that we helped your dad come home and get better!!

I'm sure your mom appreciates all the food and your help and support, too, BT!

The last two sentences of your post are incredibly beautiful, Tom.

"i hope he gets to live as long and as comfortably as he wants to because he certainly deserves it. like i said, he's alwyas been a hero to me."

What more could a person ask for than that?

I hope your father knows that he is a hero to you.

Lee

[PieSusan]

BT, my dad was my hero as well. Take good care of him and love him while you he is here. Spend as much time as you can with him for the gift of time is priceless. Much love and sending all the prayers I can muster.

[rickismom]

Wonderful news BT! Your quote about the Archie Bunker chair and the idiot box got me thinking about my Dad. He was the same way, God rest his soul!
Continued prayers for you and your family for healing, guidance, comfort and support ((hugs)) :smile:

[Deelady]

Great great news!!! :D :D

[buckytom]

i wish i could thank everyone in person with a bug hug, handshake, and smile. so, suffice it to say that you have my enduring gratitude. my dad thought it was pretty neat that people from all over were wishing him well.

i'm going back down today with a quad cane, a bed rail, and a walker that my (r.i.p.) mil used in her last years. dad objected to the idea of a walker, but he's very weak and can't see, so being a practical person overall, he may end up using it.

this has been very tough on my mom. she used to serve my dad like a slave before, but now it's unbelievable.

the best thing that i thought that i could do for her was to cook some more. they loved the last meals that i brought down, and have been eating them almost every night for a week. my brother even commented that mom really outdid herself when he tried them, but she just giggled and didn't tell him where they came from. that made me really happy, that mom played a trick and thought she was being funny.

that's about the extent of dishonesty that you'd ever get out of my parents. they really are saints.

ok, so, i made a few more things to bring down to their house. last night i smoked a whole chicken; my first one. it stalled around 145 degrees, and i didn't have any more time to wait for it, so i took it off and wrapped it up. i'll just toss it in a hot oven with a probe to bring it up to 160 when i get down to their house today. i doubt it will be dry since it actually squirted at me when i stuck in an instant read thermometer to double check.

i also made my dad's favourite: french lamb stew (aka daube provencal). i had to make it a little healthier, so no butter, and no bacon. but it came out great! dw "tasted" abiut a pint of it last night, lol, to my amazement. she doesn't like lamb all that much. maybe only frenched lollipop chops. but nothing rich and gravy like, especially with lamb flavour.

well, i have to run. oil needs changing in the truck, and i need tp go get bird and cat food. then it's time to run the gauntlet of the garden state parkway twice today. i'll probably take mom food shopping today too. she's like a kid in a candy store when she goes to one of the giant supermarkets near them. and i'll be sure that she doesn't buy some generic or value brand stuff like they've gotten used to on a fixed income for so many years.

thanks and hugs again. i'll be back in a few days.

[Fisher's Mom]

What a wonderful update, BT! I'll bet to a woman like your mom, having wonderful meals prepared for them by their loving son - it's gotta mean the world to her! And you seriously may be saving her life. There were a few times when my mom was recovering from bad things, I was lucky to get 2 or 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I felt punch-drunk a lot. And your mom has a few years on me. Bless your heart for taking care of her, too.

[Cooksie]

I'm glad things are finally starting to take a turn for the better. You are a sweetheart for all that you're doing for them.

[lilylove]

You are a good man bucky! Your parents are so lucky to have you!

[MexicoKaren]

I am such a firm believer in the restorative value of good food, especially when it is prepared by loving hands. It sounds like you have a remarkable family, BT - I know they are all grateful for what you do. Please give your dad our best wishes from Mexico (I'd like to say "sunny" Mexico, but it has been raining for two days!).

[PieSusan]

BT, sorry that I have not been around. My plate has been overflowing. However, I am thrilled to read that your dad is improving and I love how you have cooked for your folks. You are one of the good guys!!!