The Supermarket & The Homeless

I live in a pretty good neighborhood; but have recently noticed homeless people camping out at the market, & solicitors in front of the market. There are tables & chairs outside the market for folks who want to take something out & sit & eat at the tables. I noticed shopping carts filled with crap, with noone around. The pay phone is out of order and destroyed.

Recently the Board sent us a memo re a homeless person sleeping in our laundry room. My heart goes out to people that cannot support themselves; but don't know how to react, or what, if anything, I can do. I know people are struggling, and there are a few condos here that are in foreclosure. My close friend & her hubby (members of the writers guild), can't afford their house payments after many years, & raising their kids. They will be selling & moving into an apt.

I have seen shopping carts come down my street, & heard people going through our dumpster, even though I live in a security building.

Has anyone encountered same in your area? What would you say or do, if anything? I know it's a tough economy, but I feel uncomfortable when trying to go into the market, & being accosted.

It was common in South Florida also. I ran a Public Storage and Extra Space storage facilities in both Pompano Beach and West Palm Beach Florida for about 10 years and had a problem with them renting 5 x 10 climate control spaces and sleeping in them. Both sites we lived on site as we do here in Kentucky on my own site though no climate control here I have had people even here try to stay all night in their spaces.

We actually had a women die here two years ago trying to sleep in her truck and froze to death. Our property closes up at 10 PM daily but will allow you out anytime so no excuse. If we catch anyone even tenants paid current here after 11 PM we contact the police and fill trespassing charges against them unless notified before that they will be in after that time as well as the reason. I also have the local police come through several times a night as many of them are also tenants.

Well, if you actually are being accosted, tell the store manager. The manager will clear that up immediately. While he may be trying to give them a place to set for a spell, no way they want business turned away because a frightening element is at the front entrance.

I've lived outside NYC all my life, so a homeless population is something I'm accustomed to. What I have noticed, however, is that there is a larger and more visible homeless population in Bergen County. Not to say there hasn't always been, but it's more obvious now. I can only assume that means there are simply more homeless people.

I cannot tell you what or what not to do when you pass an obviously soliciting homeless person. I'm sure there are as many answers to that question as there are people here. My only advice is that if you desire to do something, do the right something. Homeless are people, just like you and I, who happen to have fallen on unfortunate circumstances. I cannot tell you how many people I know right now who are simply one or two paychecks away from being unable to pay the bills. It's frightening. But, back to my point. If you see someone standing outside the market with a cup in his hand, don't just blindly drop money in it. Make eye contact and say something encouraging if you can. Too many homeless people are completely invisible to the more fortunate. If this person really must beg for the money, why add humiliation to the mix by ignoring his presence? And, even better than dropping the money....look at him and ask him if he'd like a sandwich from the deli, or buy a loaf of bread and some cheese.

Losing a roof isn't all that's lost when a person loses their station. Often, their humanity is lost as well.

If the person living in the laundry room is going to be permitted to camp there (assuming he is not a danger to the tenants) an old blanket and pillow couldn't hurt.

Great post Vera!!! Very well said.

Bye the way I wasn't coming across as hard on the homeless but the unusual problems that arise, some of which can be life threating to them trying to find shelter. This is especially true with a storage facility where no one might know they are there until it is too late. I do feel for them as I've been there myself a couple of times in my life. It is also why I support local area shelter's where it is safe for them as they also are the targets for crime more than the cause of it in many cases.

Living in the suburbs I just don't see the homeless problem like city dwellers and those who work in big cities. On the few occasions I get downtown I have seen homeless, and pretty much they are courteous and just want to make a few bucks. They ask for money, thank you if you give them something, or move on to the next person if you ignore them. The Cleveland Police have held fast to giving them these guidelines, and if one of them gets pushy of starts following and bad-mouthing someone, they get free lodging and a meal in the 6th district can. Some actually try to get arrested just so they can have a warm place to sleep.

Interestingly, whenever I have tried to buy a homeless guy a meal in the past at a local Burger King or Wendys, I get rejected. they just want the money. This tells me the money is more than likely going to drugs or alcohol, and they get nothing from me at this point.

With all the people needing help today it's impossible to know the difference between druggies, drunks and just down on their luck needing help. What DW & I have done is to make donations directly to organizations that we know are providing lodging and meals. Salvation Army and Catholic Charities are the two primary ones we support, and we can see the work they are doing here in Cleveland not just meeting the immediate needs of food and shelter, but of also meeting their job search or mental health issues. Since targeting our giving in this manner, when I come across a homeless person while downtown, I direct them to the Catholic Charities soup kitchen or the Salvation Army shelter. More often than not, I get a scowl or get flipped off, so that tells me they probably have a drug or alcohol problem that I will not contribute to.

I live downtown so I see a lot of homeless people and my kids and I used to volunteer at our main homeless shelter. Even when my sons were fairly young, I had no problems with them working with me there because everyone was unfailingly polite. (Partly because the rules are very stringent about courtesy there.) The saddest thing I noticed was that it seemed that the majority of the homeless were suffering from some kind of mental illness. It breaks my heart because it makes it very difficult, if not impossible, for these people to every break out of their situation.

I understand what you are concerned about, CC. We had a very tall, thin man who lived under an overpass near my house and he often wandered up and down my street, shouting and barking and doing odd things. I was a little afraid of him so I left brown bags with fresh fruit, candy bars, etc. at the bottom of my steps for him, which he always took and stared up at me on the porch. He knew I left them for him but he never spoke to me. It seemed like he was afraid of me, too. Later, when he disappeared for a while, I found out he had walked into a convenience store around the corner - one he frequently went into and was always given something to eat - and he stabbed the woman working at the counter with a pocket knife. She was not badly injured, but she was shocked because he had never been in any way violent or aggressive. A few months later, he was wandering around on the street again but eventually he disappeared for good. I don't know what happened to him.

Thank you Vera - so very well said.

Some of my clients are in less that good areas ans I see it as well every day. It is very sad. Joe also makes a good point, it is sometimes hard to separate the homeless who need help from the druggies.

The Collier County, FL (where I live) population nearly doubles in winter due to the combined influx of snowbirds, tourists, and homeless folks from the north. We have thousands upon thousands of acres of wooded and swamp lands where the homeless spend their time. It can be difficult to tell the difference between someone truly asking for food money from those looking for their next ten dollar crack hit. There are supermarket and shopping center parking lot holdups every day so it pays to stay alert. We have one large organisation in Naples who I give my charity money to and that is St. Matthew's House. St. Matts does everything it can but unfortunately cannot cater to or even find everyone in need of help. Today's economy certainly doesn't help matters. At least, other than this miserable week, avoiding cold temperatures is usually not a problem.

those that dislike the presence of these guys.... well, may be that 1 day you'll, too, be hungry, or addicted, or kinda not on your rocker, or snoozing on concrete.
may well be that 1 day your main source of income is the cup of change ya shake hour after hour so as to annoy the passers-by into giving ya a dime or 2.
may well be that yins, too, lose your career, your esteem, your husband or wife or kiddos, or that ya cannot even shower & shave or get a decent dinner.
may well be that you'll be like the guys that stay in the alley we stash the garbage in from my school, & like them, you'll hafta pick thru bags of garbage that likely contain food.
may well also be that social workers try to get ya a decent place & an address so you'll get welfare or benefits, although may well be, too, that YOU'LL succumb to mental illness or addiction or habit.
if you're better than them, well.

Awww, luvs, you make a good point. No child starts out life saying "When I grow up, I want to be homeless/addicted/jobless/mentally ill." But I think that's why it makes people so uncomfortable - because it could be any one of us in that position if the right (or wrong) things happened in our lives. We know we are not so different and so when we see this, we can't pretend it couldn't happen to us.

And also - we don't know how to help - truly help - a complete stranger who is homeless. We don't want to offend them, either, by being patronizing.

Sadly, because I live downtown in a very large city, I am now comfortable in how to offer food, clothing, money etc., to a homeless person I encounter. (It's sad because there have been large numbers of homeless people for enough years now that it is not an unusual sight.) But for the OP, this is a fairly new occurrence in her area and she is wondering how to react.

Fisher's Mom said:

Awww, luvs, you make a good point. No child starts out life saying "When I grow up, I want to be homeless/addicted/jobless/mentally ill." But I think that's why it makes people so uncomfortable - because it could be any one of us in that position if the right (or wrong) things happened in our lives. We know we are not so different and so when we see this, we can't pretend it couldn't happen to us.

And also - we don't know how to help - truly help - a complete stranger who is homeless. We don't want to offend them, either, by being patronizing.

Sadly, because I live downtown in a very large city, I am now comfortable in how to offer food, clothing, money etc., to a homeless person I encounter. (It's sad because there have been large numbers of homeless people for enough years now that it is not an unusual sight.) But for the OP, this is a fairly new occurrence in her area and she is wondering how to react.

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Thanks, FM.

I presume the post was about people in general -- not me. You don't know anything about me or my life.

To clarify - I live in a gated community. You need a key to get in the front & back gates (where the dumpster is), & a key for the laundry room. The memo from the Board when on to say, when he/she asked the person sleeping in the laundry room how they got into the bldg, & how they planned on getting out; the reply was that he/she jumped the gate. In the past a memo was posted re a car being vandalised in our parking lot, & to be aware.

It is not okay, imo, to enter our property/premises & set up residence, sleep in or vandalize our property. So, no, I cannot go give them a blanket etc. I should not live in fear of walking about the premises, taking my trash out or going to the laundry room. If that makes me a "bad guy," so be it. The Board will discuss it at the next meeting.

Re the supermarket & homeless people asking for money - this is not the first time; and the same chain a city over has the same situation on an ongoing basis. You don't know the organizations, people etc that I donate to and/or help. So, please don't presume anything, or pass judgement on me.

I have lived abroad, here--there and everywhere, and have had beggers, gypsies,buskers--the homeless standing or sitting outside asking for something when they are desperate.
Don't see that too much now around this little town in Ohio.

When I've seen someone in need (and I mean a single person obviously looking hungry and downtrodden) the change always goes in the cup.
There was a guy and his dog lying on the pavement outside a Burger King in London.
I bought them burgers, fries and milk.
He gave the dog more than he ate, and myself and Steven sat on the ground and talked to him about his predicament for a while, then we left.. feeling a little sad.
If a subway/tube busker asks for change and they are playing brill music or something, they too always got some change.
When it comes to gypsies wanting a handout, forget it. No way.
It only takes a bit of heart and intuition to realise if you're being had, or if you should reach out and give.
I'd rather just do it, and not block the blessings myself.
As they say, what goes around comes around.
Placing yourself in the shoes of the less fortunate has a way of waking you up real god damned quick, and thanking God that you have a warm bed, running water and heat... not to mention a kitchen for preparing food for our already overstuffed fortunate guts.

i, too, follow my intuition. there's those that own a single bag of items, or thier beard is so tangled ya want to cry for them, or they're gaunt or weather-beaten.
they're people. they're human.
they get hungry too. they shiver. & that concrete isn't any more comfy for them than that would be for yourself. & they own pride, although they're braver than me, for they place that aside & stay near the tunnels looking for work in exchange for food.

California, I don't believe anyone made assumptions or passed judgements. You opened a topic and people responded with answers to the original thoughts and questions. The part about the 'gated community' wasn't mentioned in the OP, nor was the list of organizations you donate to. You asked what people would say or do. Some offered advice, some offered a differing point of view...but that's all part of conversation, virtual and otherwise.

CaliforniaCook said:

My heart goes out to people that cannot support themselves; but don't know how to react, or what, if anything, I can do.

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I apologize that it appeared I was trying to speak for you. That wasn't my intent. I thought that's what you were saying in your original post.