In Honor Of.....

The holidays are fast approaching and I know some of us are feeling a little down. I know I am. This will be the first Christmas without my mother and it's going to be a hard one. I went through this last year after losing my grandmother and I'm trying to learn from it.

My mom was a great lady and loved to make the holidays special for everyone. It seemed she always knew what to buy as gifts that we would all love. She showed me what being a family and spending time with each other meant. She taught me all the traditions that have been in my family since before I was born and we still carry on to this day. The family getting together on Christmas Eve, enjoying each others company, breaking bread (oplatki), sharing a meal together. Reminding me that we're all we're going to have when it comes to the end. She and my grandmother were the head of the family and took it seriously. I know now I will continue with the traditions that they've started and possibly start some new ones for the grandchildren to enjoy just as much.

I realize how lucky I've been to have had my grandmother and mother for as long as I did. I'm fortunate in that I have no regrets and appreciated every moment I had with them. Towards the end with my mom she may not have known who I was in relation to her but I cherished the time I got to spend with her, touch her, hold her hand, kiss her, talk to her, feed her. Those moments I wouldn't trade for anything as I now keep them in my heart now that she's gone. She was my mom!! She is missed by us all!

I know they both would want to see us all together again this year and I hope we can be, for them and for me so that I can make them proud of what they've instilled in me and that is FAMILY is EVERYTHING!!

Please share your stories about a loved one you may be missing during this holiday season.......sometimes it helps to talk about them.

Oh Barb - what a wonderful way to honor our loved ones we miss so much. Your mother and grandmother sound like such lovely ladies - fiercely dedicated to their families. No wonder you are such a loving mother and grandmother - you learned at their knees!

I am missing two members of my family, too. My father died 5 years ago on Christmas Day and my daughter died in 1983. And like you, the holidays are bittersweet without them. But I wouldn't change the time I had with them for anything. My father was the person I am most like. He was by nature a happy, optimistic person who always brightened my day. He loved to go fishing and spent a lot of time doing it. In his later years, when his health was worse, he spent his time instead with his family. Fisher used to spend hours in my dad's lap, playing with the things in his pocket, pulling his nose, and asking him a million questions. He took Fisher to his favorite lake to feed the tame deer there. In other words, he gave of himself to us and I miss him so much. I am grateful to have been there with my children when he died because he was always there for us.

My daughter was truly a gift. She came to me as a foster child and I was lucky enough to be able to adopt her. She had a serious kidney disease from birth so I always knew she wouldn't be mine for long, but the 6 years I had her were magical. She loved to sing and laughed all the time. Even though she was mentally disabled, she was still charming and flirtatious and my little princess. 2 years before she died, she had a kidney transplant that went very badly and for the last 2 years, she was blind and unable to walk and back on dialysis. It was hard to see my little girl so disabled, but even those years were ones I cherish. I was privileged to be holding her when she died so she wouldn't be scared.

Thank you, Barb, for giving me this chance to pay tribute to these 2 people I loved so much because they enriched my life more than I can say.

PS - Here is my daughter Catherine (in my lap) along with daughters Lori and Mandy. I will post a pic of my father when I get back home.

Bo Briones. March 26, 1948-August 30, 2009. Lung cancer. Together for 29 years, married for 28. My life, my heart, my all. I'm going through many "firsts" this year. My first birthday, my first Halloween (he was the candy man every year), my first Thanksgiving (was the worst Thanksgiving of my life), my first Christmas and New years (wish I could sleep right through these) without the love of my life. They say you are blessed if you find the true love of your life......I was blessed. I honor this man.

What a wonderful picture of you and Bo. Was that last Christmas, Linda? I'm so sorry you have to live through so many firsts this year, but I am humbled by your love for this man. You were truly blessed.

You both have touched my heart in more ways than you'll know. I'm sorry any of us have to go through this.
It just goes to show no matter whom we've lost and how long they've been gone they still remain with us and we're better people for knowing them and loving them......

Fisher's Mom said:

What a wonderful picture of you and Bo. Was that last Christmas, Linda? I'm so sorry you have to live through so many firsts this year, but I am humbled by your love for this man. You were truly blessed.

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Don't forget Koapaka in Bo's arms. He was a daddy's boy and he is also missing his daddy something awful. This picture was taken the Christmas before he was diagnosed with lung cancer in June. He was already starting to cough and we thought it was a cold.

This time of the year must be very hard for you. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man. I love to fish also. It's a great stress reliever. You were also a gift to Catherine. A gift of love and caring that made her short life a happy one. I also have a mentally disabled son. He is 42, my first born. I was blessed with two beautiful children by my first marriage, and I stay strong for them.

Homecook, my heart goes out to you. I know how hard this is going to be.

With Warm Aloha, Linda

It's hard to read this thread with the tears forming in my eyes.

I feel for you all and understand.
I lost my dad on Halloween 2002. He was special in so many ways. He and my mom were married for 50 years. They were so good together. Now every holiday season I feel more for my mom than for me and my siblings. It has to be so tough to be alone that way. We kids and grandkids try to fill the void but there is nothing sadder to me than someone who has lost their soul mate.

Please know and feel my arms around you guys in this time of deeply missing your loved ones!! It is very hard, but at the same time we would have never have changed a moment of our time with them, because it is every second that we spent with them that will fill our heart with their love forever!

As you know I just lost my dad a few months ago....I know I haven't fully accepted it yet because I haven't truly allowed myself to acknowledge it deep within my heart. I guess its easier right now for me that way.
My Dad was never really one to get into Holidays or celebrations, for the most part he kept to himself sitting in his chair. But one thing I will always remember and cherrish about him during the Holidays is something I know only him and I shared together. Whether it was at Thanksgiving, or Christmas dinner, every time we joined together to say prayer before our meal to give Thanks. Some how we always locked eyes for a moment with each of us suddenly overcome with emotion and tears welled up in our eyes....no one else ever noticed, because they were so anxious to finish the prayer to get to eating....but always for that quick moment, him and I shared something special.
That to me always told me he did indeed cherrish his family even though he couldn't often show it.


I pray you guys are able to get through these Holidays with nothing but Joy and Happy memories of your loved ones. Laugh and share stories so they may forever be a part of your Celebrations!!

Deelady said:

But one thing I will always remember and cherrish about him during the Holidays is something I know only him and I shared together. Whether it was at Thanksgiving, or Christmas dinner, every time we joined together to say prayer before our meal to give Thanks. Some how we always locked eyes for a moment with each of us suddenly overcome with emotion and tears welled up in our eyes....no one else ever noticed, because they were so anxious to finish the prayer to get to eating....but always for that quick moment, him and I shared something special.

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Awwww, Dee, I love this story about your Dad. I can picture it in my mind perfectly. Sometimes it's hard for a parent to make sure each child knows they are special to them. Your dad chose a wonderful way. Hugs to you.

Doc said:

I lost my dad on Halloween 2002. He was special in so many ways. He and my mom were married for 50 years. They were so good together. Now every holiday season I feel more for my mom than for me and my siblings. It has to be so tough to be alone that way.

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50 years! What an accomplishment, Doc. My parents were married 49 years when he died and I feel the same way as you do - our moms must feel adrift during holidays. You just reminded me to be extra good to my mom this Christmas. Thank you.

Wasabi said:

Don't forget Koapaka in Bo's arms. He was a daddy's boy and he is also missing his daddy something awful.

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It never ceases to amaze me how much pets can mourn! My brother had an old cat who has always been cantankerous, but she loved my brother completely. After he died last year, that cat mourned so much I was afraid she would die. She stayed in a window upstairs and wouldn't let anyone touch her. We had to put her food in the windowsill because she wouldn't come down. Finally, when Hurricaine Ike hit and we had to evacuate my mom and her cats, I had to put her in a carrier. I wore long leather gloves to do it and she still bit me! But that seemed to snap her out of it and now she even gets in our laps. But it was a good 7 months after he died before that happened.

Our special children are a gift, aren't they Wasabi? My daughter Lori, who I was also lucky enough to adopt, is mentally disabled. She is 34 now and thankfully, perfectly healthy and happy. I hope your son is, too.

This is going to be the first Christmas without Mom, and we already know it's going to be a toughy.
Thanksgiving was pretty difficult, but we all got through it somehow.
A bright, beautiful, hilarious, warm and caring being wasn't there, but we sat a place at the table for her anyhow.

It's hard to believe it's been almost 5 months since we lost her.
The biggest comfort is knowing she's up there with Daddy, my sisters, Steven and my Grandparents.

She'd want us to carry on and be strong, because she taught us all such strength, and had an unconditional love for everybody.
One thing my Mom taught me, there IS good in everyone and every thing, tho I have a hard time seeing that at times.
Terry, your story both made me smile and cry.
Barb and Linda.. yep.
You all are getting the biggest e-hug I can muster!!

Thank you FM

I meant to mention that I LOVE the pictures you two posted.....you see the deep seeded love!

Hugs to you Sass, hope this Holiday brings her smiles to your heart

RIght back at you sweetie!! {{{{hugs}}}}

Thank you for starting this to take a moment to share about our loved ones!

Sass Muffin said:

A bright, beautiful, hilarious, warm and caring being wasn't there, but we sat a place at the table for her anyhow.

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You set a place for her? I love that, Sass! Maybe we'll start a new family tradition doing that.

You're making me want to hug my mom really hard, Sass. I'm so grateful to still have her and I wish you and Barb and Dee and Linda could have your loved ones back - even for one day. This first year is the hardest so let us know when you're feeling sad and we'll try to shore you up.

Deelady said:

Hugs to you Sass, hope this Holiday brings her smiles to your heart

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Right back at you Dee, thank you hun.

God Bless You Both for such a touching post and love you both more than you know. You FM and Barb are superior women in so many ways! Wish you both strength to carry on all of your good attributes. BTW, just taking a break, have had broncitis since Thanksgiving and will be back. Also want to thank Dee, my sweet friend for chatting off and on. Your a dear also! Thank you kindly Lucky and "The Buzz" for asking about me not being on here. Besides being sick, I have a lot going on right now but have not forgot none of you. Oh! I can't forget to thank Mama and of course Peeps' for their friendship. You all take care. Meme/sh

You just made me so happy, Sheri! I'm glad you're better now and I hope you stay that way. We've missed you a lot, girlfriend.

Thanks my friend, just emailed you....sh

Hi there Sheri! Sorry to hear you havent been feeling well
But I am so glad to see you pop in and hope you are able come more often as soon as things calm down for you!!

{{{hugs to feel better fast!!}}}

Thank you Dee very much....Hope all is well for you and your family. I read often during the day, just haven't posted anything. sh

You folks made my day with your loving stories. I can't thank all of you enough. It feels like family here.

Fisher's Mom said:

You set a place for her? I love that, Sass! Maybe we'll start a new family tradition doing that.

You're making me want to hug my mom really hard, Sass. I'm so grateful to still have her and I wish you and Barb and Dee and Linda could have your loved ones back - even for one day. This first year is the hardest so let us know when you're feeling sad and we'll try to shore you up.

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Yes, we did set a place for her.
She was with us in spirit, believe me!
She's still with me every day, I can feel her presence really.
Just like the Mom she always was, I swear I can feel her telling me what to do and guiding me.
She didn't like me being alone and widowed as I am, and she ADORED Steve.
Me thinks between the pair of them, they are up there saying OH MY, and WHAT?.. what is she doing NOW?
Death brings physical separation and distance.. it doesn't change the way the soul felt about you one iota.
Mommy's still with me, and she will be, they all will be, until I can be with them again.