NICKNAMES
EATING OUT
MONEY
BATHROOMS
ARGUMENTS
FUTURE
SUCCESS
MARRIAGE
DRESSING UP
NATURAL
OFFSPRING
Lee's disclaimer: It's full of generalities and stereotypes, and lots of it may not be true for you or anyone you know. But it's a JOKE!
[*]If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
[*]If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
[*]When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
[*]When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
[*]A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
[*]A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
[*]A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ..
[*]The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
[*]A woman has the last word in any argument.
[*]Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
[*]A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
[*]A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
[*]A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
[*]A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
[*]A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
[*]A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
[*]A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
[*]A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
[*]Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
[*]Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
[*]Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
[*]A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Lee's disclaimer: It's full of generalities and stereotypes, and lots of it may not be true for you or anyone you know. But it's a JOKE!